"If it turns out that I’ve been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would choose not to worship him anyway."
-Douglas Adams
December 31, 2005
fresh meat
Every word of this story is true. I did my best to transcribe the conversations verbatim, but the nature of them made me stop listening about halfway through. The words contained herein are accurate, but not all-inclusive.
Friday night, 6 pm-ish.
Mild-mannered manager Jon is taking an order, but abruptly hangs up the phone, comes into the kitchen, and starts rolling dough with great, furious intensity, swearing to himself. Phone rings two minutes later, and I answer:
me: "Popolino's, can I help you?"
shrill voice: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER!! NOT THE MANAGER, BUT THE OWNER!!"
me: "Uh, he's not here-"
sv: "I KNOW THE OWNER, AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO HIM!! WHAT'S HIS PHONE NUMBER?"
me: "Well, if you know him--"
sv: "I WILL NOT BE TREATED THIS WAY!! I AM EXTREMELY MAD!!!"
me: (thinks to self) "No shit you are. You're also a raging bitch, and probably fat."
Jon comes up behind me and checks the caller id. "Hang up on her."
me: "We have already tried to take care of you. Have a good night." *click*
Five minutes later, a woman in her late 30s-early 40s walks into the restaurant with two small children and an older, shriveled-looking lady in tow. She stands at the counter with her arms folded, and Jon ignores her, instead retreating to the office. I immediately know what is up, and decide to bite the bullet.
me: "Can I help you?" *thinks to self* "Boy, you're a big one, aren't you?"
voice I recognize as shrill, but less so: "I want the name and phone number of your owner right now, please."
me: "He's probably in the phone book." I spell his name for her.
her: "Phone book."
me: "Excuse me?"
her: "PHONE BOOK." I give her the book, and she looks up the owner's number and calls him. Aside, to her child: "Oh, look, he lives close to Grandma." No answer. She turns to me again. "I want you to dial your owner's cellphone number. I want him to know how I've been treated."
me: *thinks to self* "Sorry, you spent all your cooperation allowance." To her, simply: "No."
her: "I KNOW THE OWNER. HE CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE LAST WEEKEND, AND I THINK HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW HIS EMPLOYEES TREAT LOYAL CUSTOMERS. I HAVE A STORE CREDIT, AND I WANT TO USE IT RIGHT NOW."
me: "You can't come in here shouting at us, demanding things, and expect us to just give them to you. If this is the way you're going to behave, we don't want your business at all. I think you should leave."
her: "OH, I THINK THE OWNER KNOWS THAT YOU DO WANT MY BUSINESS. I HAVE BEEN A LOYAL CUSTOMER FOR SEVEN YEARS..." blah blah blah, more shouting.
I refer her to Jon, who tells her that she does not, in fact, have a store credit, and that she needs to get her stories straight if she's going to lie in order to get free pizza. She starts shouting again, and Jon tells me to call the police. I eagerly comply.
her: "GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS!! I HOPE IT'S OFFICER (name)!!! OR MAYBE IT'LL BE OFFICER (name)!!! HE'LL BE VERY INTERESTED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS!!!"
me: *thinks to self* "Oh, you're already familiar with the police. Imagine that."
She goes outside and sits in her car, appearing a few minutes later to tell us that when the police come, she'll be in her car. This turns out to be a moot point, for when the police do show up, she runs up to them and tells her story, frantically gesticulating and pointing at me through the window. The police officer (a lady, maybe one or two years older than me, and kinda cute) comes in and asks us what's up, and we tell her that we don't want this crazy lady ever coming here or calling us again. They relay the message, and after the woman shouts at the police for a couple minutes, she eventually gets into her car and drives away.
The unmitigated gall of this woman, to come in and pretend we owe her something, and to pretend that she knows the owner (whose name, phone number, and address are a mystery to her), and then throw a fit when we call BS... you'd think she worked at the white house.
I can't believe how worked-up people get about paying for food. This woman is probably plotting how to browbeat an unsuspecting Deek's or Slap Shot employee into giving her some free pizza, and meanwhile, her poor little kids have to listen to her go totally ballistic whenever she doesn't get exactly what she wants. We called the cops on their mom, for chrissake. I feel kinda sorry for them; they will either make a psychologist very, very wealthy someday... or get all the free therapy they can handle in prison. I hope she comes back tomorrow so we can have her arrested for criminal trespass... no, actually, I hope the fat bitch (easily 350) dies of a heart attack tomorrow; it'll be better for everyone she knows. Oh, by the way, her name is Abby Coney. Fear and revile her, all who work in foodservice.
So that's my funny story from last night.
Sports are full of hilarious names.
This blog rules. A venture capitalist on the West Coast shares what he knows about IT, security, grapefruit juice, and game theory thought experiments. And that's just in the top 4 posts. Massively stimulating for the brain; if I were more alert, I would have devoured it like so much Chicken Fajita pizza. However, it's very early in the morning, and I haven't had coffee.
Friday night, 6 pm-ish.
Mild-mannered manager Jon is taking an order, but abruptly hangs up the phone, comes into the kitchen, and starts rolling dough with great, furious intensity, swearing to himself. Phone rings two minutes later, and I answer:
me: "Popolino's, can I help you?"
shrill voice: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER!! NOT THE MANAGER, BUT THE OWNER!!"
me: "Uh, he's not here-"
sv: "I KNOW THE OWNER, AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO HIM!! WHAT'S HIS PHONE NUMBER?"
me: "Well, if you know him--"
sv: "I WILL NOT BE TREATED THIS WAY!! I AM EXTREMELY MAD!!!"
me: (thinks to self) "No shit you are. You're also a raging bitch, and probably fat."
Jon comes up behind me and checks the caller id. "Hang up on her."
me: "We have already tried to take care of you. Have a good night." *click*
Five minutes later, a woman in her late 30s-early 40s walks into the restaurant with two small children and an older, shriveled-looking lady in tow. She stands at the counter with her arms folded, and Jon ignores her, instead retreating to the office. I immediately know what is up, and decide to bite the bullet.
me: "Can I help you?" *thinks to self* "Boy, you're a big one, aren't you?"
voice I recognize as shrill, but less so: "I want the name and phone number of your owner right now, please."
me: "He's probably in the phone book." I spell his name for her.
her: "Phone book."
me: "Excuse me?"
her: "PHONE BOOK." I give her the book, and she looks up the owner's number and calls him. Aside, to her child: "Oh, look, he lives close to Grandma." No answer. She turns to me again. "I want you to dial your owner's cellphone number. I want him to know how I've been treated."
me: *thinks to self* "Sorry, you spent all your cooperation allowance." To her, simply: "No."
her: "I KNOW THE OWNER. HE CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE LAST WEEKEND, AND I THINK HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW HIS EMPLOYEES TREAT LOYAL CUSTOMERS. I HAVE A STORE CREDIT, AND I WANT TO USE IT RIGHT NOW."
me: "You can't come in here shouting at us, demanding things, and expect us to just give them to you. If this is the way you're going to behave, we don't want your business at all. I think you should leave."
her: "OH, I THINK THE OWNER KNOWS THAT YOU DO WANT MY BUSINESS. I HAVE BEEN A LOYAL CUSTOMER FOR SEVEN YEARS..." blah blah blah, more shouting.
I refer her to Jon, who tells her that she does not, in fact, have a store credit, and that she needs to get her stories straight if she's going to lie in order to get free pizza. She starts shouting again, and Jon tells me to call the police. I eagerly comply.
her: "GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS!! I HOPE IT'S OFFICER (name)!!! OR MAYBE IT'LL BE OFFICER (name)!!! HE'LL BE VERY INTERESTED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS!!!"
me: *thinks to self* "Oh, you're already familiar with the police. Imagine that."
She goes outside and sits in her car, appearing a few minutes later to tell us that when the police come, she'll be in her car. This turns out to be a moot point, for when the police do show up, she runs up to them and tells her story, frantically gesticulating and pointing at me through the window. The police officer (a lady, maybe one or two years older than me, and kinda cute) comes in and asks us what's up, and we tell her that we don't want this crazy lady ever coming here or calling us again. They relay the message, and after the woman shouts at the police for a couple minutes, she eventually gets into her car and drives away.
The unmitigated gall of this woman, to come in and pretend we owe her something, and to pretend that she knows the owner (whose name, phone number, and address are a mystery to her), and then throw a fit when we call BS... you'd think she worked at the white house.
I can't believe how worked-up people get about paying for food. This woman is probably plotting how to browbeat an unsuspecting Deek's or Slap Shot employee into giving her some free pizza, and meanwhile, her poor little kids have to listen to her go totally ballistic whenever she doesn't get exactly what she wants. We called the cops on their mom, for chrissake. I feel kinda sorry for them; they will either make a psychologist very, very wealthy someday... or get all the free therapy they can handle in prison. I hope she comes back tomorrow so we can have her arrested for criminal trespass... no, actually, I hope the fat bitch (easily 350) dies of a heart attack tomorrow; it'll be better for everyone she knows. Oh, by the way, her name is Abby Coney. Fear and revile her, all who work in foodservice.
So that's my funny story from last night.
Sports are full of hilarious names.
This blog rules. A venture capitalist on the West Coast shares what he knows about IT, security, grapefruit juice, and game theory thought experiments. And that's just in the top 4 posts. Massively stimulating for the brain; if I were more alert, I would have devoured it like so much Chicken Fajita pizza. However, it's very early in the morning, and I haven't had coffee.
December 30, 2005
changing history, part 2
This makes me sad. Isn't satire supposed to be protected speech? Or does Comedy Central only care about what Catholics think is funny?
I thought this episode was hilarious, but mostly because of its great sendup of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've long held that AA is not appropriate as a court sentence, because it REQUIRES that you walk in of your own free will and admit that you have a problem with alcohol. If you want to quit drinking, AA will work if you're willing to do what they ask you to. However, if you get a minor or a DUI or break some windows, have never done it before, and will never do it again because what you did was stupid and uncharacteristic of you, the answer is not to be forced to listen to people tell you that you have an incurable disease and that you have to give yourself up to a higher power so that you never drink again.
I bet the Catholic League laughs their sanctimonious asses off when South Park makes fun of Rosie O'Donnell, Micheal Jackson, R. Kelly, gay people, and Scientologists. Too bad they can't laugh at themselves; they're missing out on an opportunity for some real personal growth. (the pope's knowing wink at the screen before the virgin mary farts blood all over him is classic slapstick comedy.)
hmm. that does seem rather inflammatory. you'd have to see it to appreciate it; try and steal it from the internet. apparently, that's the only place this episode exists any more.
I thought this episode was hilarious, but mostly because of its great sendup of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've long held that AA is not appropriate as a court sentence, because it REQUIRES that you walk in of your own free will and admit that you have a problem with alcohol. If you want to quit drinking, AA will work if you're willing to do what they ask you to. However, if you get a minor or a DUI or break some windows, have never done it before, and will never do it again because what you did was stupid and uncharacteristic of you, the answer is not to be forced to listen to people tell you that you have an incurable disease and that you have to give yourself up to a higher power so that you never drink again.
I bet the Catholic League laughs their sanctimonious asses off when South Park makes fun of Rosie O'Donnell, Micheal Jackson, R. Kelly, gay people, and Scientologists. Too bad they can't laugh at themselves; they're missing out on an opportunity for some real personal growth. (the pope's knowing wink at the screen before the virgin mary farts blood all over him is classic slapstick comedy.)
hmm. that does seem rather inflammatory. you'd have to see it to appreciate it; try and steal it from the internet. apparently, that's the only place this episode exists any more.
changing history
I deleted the post from Dec. 28th.
I agonized for a little while over it; I'm not a big fan of altering history, but I think it's for the best. To condense a story down to its moral, one should not navel-gaze when they're in a bad mood, which is what I did, and the results were, uh... not pretty. (naver-gaze?! OH NO!!!!) I came off sounding like an ungrateful little bitch, and I'm really not. I apologize to anyone that had to read that nasty tripe.
I talked to Arshad for the first time in almost two years earlier this week. It didn't seem like it had been that long, but I am not one to have long phone conversations, and we ended up talking for more than three hours... I guess we had a lot to say. (We tried to disengage from one another, but really just ended up talking for another hour.) I'm glad to know that so many of my friends are happy and successful, doing things with their lives that have meaning for them.
In the grand tradition of a college student seeking to memorize information, I have made flashcards of the odds of making a particular hold'em hand when there are X outs to said hand. (Most interesting factoid: if you have 12 outs on the flop, say a winning flush draw, and an A that would win if you paired it, you are more than a 50% favorite to win - about 54%) I used to think that I hated math more than anything in the world, even fundamentalists; in reality, I just hate math classes. If only Mr. Janes could see me now.
During auditions for the cast of voice actors for Family Guy, most of the people who auditioned for teenage son Chris's part used a surfer-type voice to bring the character to life. Not surprising; what would a bunch of uncreative people in California try to do, if not be a surfer? (go to Hawaii...?) Seth Green got the part primarily for his bizarro interpretation of the boy, which was based on someone he had known in his previous, pre-acting life. As some that have known me for a very, very, very long time may remember, one of my earliest dreams was to be a voice actor, ever since I discovered that I had a knack for imitating Michaelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (you know, the surfer). From there, I progressed to the not-particularly-funny Dave Coulier's Jackalope, and then went on to annoy friends, family, and neighbors for years until I blossomed into a Mr. Garrison/Kim Jong Il/Tyrone the Crackhead doppelganger. The moral of this story is that if you are reading this, and you have a funny, imitatable voice, please call me and say something so that I can rehearse your ridiculous ululation and use it to become a member of the next ensemble cast of an animated show made for adults.
I got the Aqua Teen Hunger Force season 4 DVD for Christmas - although I do love the Mooninites, I wish they had found a way to strike a balance between Dr. Weird and Spacecataz. Dr. Weird made me pee a little from laughing more than twice, and although Spacecataz is funny, it's just not... random enough. But I digress. The special features include video of the voice actors recording an episode that is on the DVD; an interesting look behind the curtain. Meatwad and Carl are both voiced by the same skinny white guy, Dave Willis (hi-larious), and Master Shake is voiced by (I think, and I'm too lazy to look it up) Matt Maiellaro. Frylock is voiced by a guy whose name I don't know and cannot find that looks weirdly like Frylock. Oh, and the new winner of Worst DVD Feature Ever: these guys thought it would be funny if the "Play All" button on the menu played all the episodes - simultaneously, in Triscuit-sized windows. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!
oh, and Kevin? You forgot about the time that you "showed 'em all," ... mostly just Paul, but you showed 'em something. I'm still not sure what. ^_^
ps - i got an ipod for christmas and you didn't. that makes my toys cooler than yours....again. my only complaint is that even casting an askance glance at the thing scratches the face. other than that, it is the coolest christmas present I've ever gotten. Thanks, Mom. *hugs* (i know, it's not the present, but the thought that counts... and what an awesome thought.)
I agonized for a little while over it; I'm not a big fan of altering history, but I think it's for the best. To condense a story down to its moral, one should not navel-gaze when they're in a bad mood, which is what I did, and the results were, uh... not pretty. (naver-gaze?! OH NO!!!!) I came off sounding like an ungrateful little bitch, and I'm really not. I apologize to anyone that had to read that nasty tripe.
I talked to Arshad for the first time in almost two years earlier this week. It didn't seem like it had been that long, but I am not one to have long phone conversations, and we ended up talking for more than three hours... I guess we had a lot to say. (We tried to disengage from one another, but really just ended up talking for another hour.) I'm glad to know that so many of my friends are happy and successful, doing things with their lives that have meaning for them.
In the grand tradition of a college student seeking to memorize information, I have made flashcards of the odds of making a particular hold'em hand when there are X outs to said hand. (Most interesting factoid: if you have 12 outs on the flop, say a winning flush draw, and an A that would win if you paired it, you are more than a 50% favorite to win - about 54%) I used to think that I hated math more than anything in the world, even fundamentalists; in reality, I just hate math classes. If only Mr. Janes could see me now.
During auditions for the cast of voice actors for Family Guy, most of the people who auditioned for teenage son Chris's part used a surfer-type voice to bring the character to life. Not surprising; what would a bunch of uncreative people in California try to do, if not be a surfer? (go to Hawaii...?) Seth Green got the part primarily for his bizarro interpretation of the boy, which was based on someone he had known in his previous, pre-acting life. As some that have known me for a very, very, very long time may remember, one of my earliest dreams was to be a voice actor, ever since I discovered that I had a knack for imitating Michaelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (you know, the surfer). From there, I progressed to the not-particularly-funny Dave Coulier's Jackalope, and then went on to annoy friends, family, and neighbors for years until I blossomed into a Mr. Garrison/Kim Jong Il/Tyrone the Crackhead doppelganger. The moral of this story is that if you are reading this, and you have a funny, imitatable voice, please call me and say something so that I can rehearse your ridiculous ululation and use it to become a member of the next ensemble cast of an animated show made for adults.
I got the Aqua Teen Hunger Force season 4 DVD for Christmas - although I do love the Mooninites, I wish they had found a way to strike a balance between Dr. Weird and Spacecataz. Dr. Weird made me pee a little from laughing more than twice, and although Spacecataz is funny, it's just not... random enough. But I digress. The special features include video of the voice actors recording an episode that is on the DVD; an interesting look behind the curtain. Meatwad and Carl are both voiced by the same skinny white guy, Dave Willis (hi-larious), and Master Shake is voiced by (I think, and I'm too lazy to look it up) Matt Maiellaro. Frylock is voiced by a guy whose name I don't know and cannot find that looks weirdly like Frylock. Oh, and the new winner of Worst DVD Feature Ever: these guys thought it would be funny if the "Play All" button on the menu played all the episodes - simultaneously, in Triscuit-sized windows. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!
oh, and Kevin? You forgot about the time that you "showed 'em all," ... mostly just Paul, but you showed 'em something. I'm still not sure what. ^_^
ps - i got an ipod for christmas and you didn't. that makes my toys cooler than yours....again. my only complaint is that even casting an askance glance at the thing scratches the face. other than that, it is the coolest christmas present I've ever gotten. Thanks, Mom. *hugs* (i know, it's not the present, but the thought that counts... and what an awesome thought.)
December 29, 2005
so i'm not a moron after all!!!
warning: this post will be intensely boring to those of you not interested in poker theory.
This post on 2+2 interested and frustrated me. The poster presents a problem: KQ suited has a little more equity (win/tie likelihood) than A10 off-suit when you put it up against any two random hold 'em hands. (KQ: 47.1% / A10: 44.3%) However, the equity values reverse when the same two hands are calling a raise from someone holding any of the top 30 percent of possible hold 'em hands. (A10: 56.5% / KQ: 54%) His question was: Which would you rather be the raiser with, and which hand is more valuable?
I had two ideas about this situation.
1. I would rather have A10, because if the other guy called my raise with an A with a lower kicker, I would be killing him, whereas if he called my raise with the same cards and I had KQ, I would be in a pretty bad spot. Lots of tournament players at the $10 level would gleefully call all sorts of bets with A-anything, particularly at late stages of the game.
2. The difference in this case is SO MARGINAL that I would probably just raise with KQ anyways and not even think about it.
I wanted to post these thoughts, but they would not come out of my fingers in an intelligent way. Every time I rewrote my reply, I was afraid that I was missing some sort of deep expression of poker theory, and that the 1.5 to 3 percent gap in equity differences was the sort of thing that makes a big difference over the long term. Not wanting to sound as stupid as I was certain that I was, I went with the "say nothing" option.
Opting not to reply, the thread refreshed itself, this time with two replies from two of the most prolific posters on 2+2. The first post made my second point, and the second post made my first, both in ways that were much clearer than what I had come up with. My confidence restored, I threw in my $0.02, but mostly so I could make a little joke about slicing a tomato.
Moral of the story: My instincts aren't so bad after all, and 2+2 is freakin' sweet.
This post on 2+2 interested and frustrated me. The poster presents a problem: KQ suited has a little more equity (win/tie likelihood) than A10 off-suit when you put it up against any two random hold 'em hands. (KQ: 47.1% / A10: 44.3%) However, the equity values reverse when the same two hands are calling a raise from someone holding any of the top 30 percent of possible hold 'em hands. (A10: 56.5% / KQ: 54%) His question was: Which would you rather be the raiser with, and which hand is more valuable?
I had two ideas about this situation.
1. I would rather have A10, because if the other guy called my raise with an A with a lower kicker, I would be killing him, whereas if he called my raise with the same cards and I had KQ, I would be in a pretty bad spot. Lots of tournament players at the $10 level would gleefully call all sorts of bets with A-anything, particularly at late stages of the game.
2. The difference in this case is SO MARGINAL that I would probably just raise with KQ anyways and not even think about it.
I wanted to post these thoughts, but they would not come out of my fingers in an intelligent way. Every time I rewrote my reply, I was afraid that I was missing some sort of deep expression of poker theory, and that the 1.5 to 3 percent gap in equity differences was the sort of thing that makes a big difference over the long term. Not wanting to sound as stupid as I was certain that I was, I went with the "say nothing" option.
Opting not to reply, the thread refreshed itself, this time with two replies from two of the most prolific posters on 2+2. The first post made my second point, and the second post made my first, both in ways that were much clearer than what I had come up with. My confidence restored, I threw in my $0.02, but mostly so I could make a little joke about slicing a tomato.
Moral of the story: My instincts aren't so bad after all, and 2+2 is freakin' sweet.
December 10, 2005
one flight down
The time is (bing!) 6:23 am.
I've been up since yesterday morning, and I still can't sleep. Yesterday, I had a job interview at Sears. They want to offer me the job, but I have to pass a background check first.
I think that sentence is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe that's why I feel like college is a waste of money and a futile exercise in how much better everyone else is at not catching felony charges than me.
It's quiet in the house this morning... the only sounds are the music and the dishwasher. I was suddenly overcome with the desire to clean at 5am, and I went so far overboard that I was hanging stuff on the walls and moving furniture around to make room for the incoming Christmas tree. Roommate Adam was drinking with me tonight, which is a very strange occurrence; he was even willing to let me teach him how to play Magic with several of my closest friends (and BP). Everyone, even Derek, has long since gone home or gone to bed, and I find myself enjoying the solitude.
The whiskey told me that I should listen to some Norah Jones, and all it's done so far is make me miss Arshad. I haven't talked to that boy since ... well, close to two years ago. He sent me some books to read while I was locked up, but because lockup is a crazy, backwards place, I didn't get to read them until I was free. I also never took the time to personally thank him... so, until it crosses my mind to call and do it voicewise, thank you, Arshad, for turning me on to Augusten Burroughs (no pun intended).
Five and a half hours remain until the foosball tournament. I am hoping to stay awake until the festivities are over; meanwhile, half of me hopes that keenan will randomly show up online with the promise of artificial stimulants.
Tonight seems auspicious... I feel like dumping out all the garbage that life has filled me with over the past couple of months, but I know that between the alcohol and the up-all-night, it will be much more maudlin and self-pitying than I really mean it to be.... so I think I will simply express my desire for a less-garbage-filled life.... and then leave it alone.
I don't remember why it was so important for me to blog tonight; maybe it's just because I have the opportunity to use my roommate's laptop and hang out in the living room, instead of holing up in my massively messy bedroom and eventually crawling into bed. Either way, I feel spent.
I shouldn't have said that John Lennon was the greatest voice for peace in two generations yesterday. To do so would be to discount and dismiss the contributions of people around the world, such as Bill Clinton, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Teresa. That is patently ridiculous, and I wish to modify the sentence as such: Mr. Lennon was one of the greatest peace activists the world will ever see, and it is supremely ironic that he met an entirely meaningless end.
Here comes the sun.
I've been up since yesterday morning, and I still can't sleep. Yesterday, I had a job interview at Sears. They want to offer me the job, but I have to pass a background check first.
I think that sentence is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe that's why I feel like college is a waste of money and a futile exercise in how much better everyone else is at not catching felony charges than me.
It's quiet in the house this morning... the only sounds are the music and the dishwasher. I was suddenly overcome with the desire to clean at 5am, and I went so far overboard that I was hanging stuff on the walls and moving furniture around to make room for the incoming Christmas tree. Roommate Adam was drinking with me tonight, which is a very strange occurrence; he was even willing to let me teach him how to play Magic with several of my closest friends (and BP). Everyone, even Derek, has long since gone home or gone to bed, and I find myself enjoying the solitude.
The whiskey told me that I should listen to some Norah Jones, and all it's done so far is make me miss Arshad. I haven't talked to that boy since ... well, close to two years ago. He sent me some books to read while I was locked up, but because lockup is a crazy, backwards place, I didn't get to read them until I was free. I also never took the time to personally thank him... so, until it crosses my mind to call and do it voicewise, thank you, Arshad, for turning me on to Augusten Burroughs (no pun intended).
Five and a half hours remain until the foosball tournament. I am hoping to stay awake until the festivities are over; meanwhile, half of me hopes that keenan will randomly show up online with the promise of artificial stimulants.
Tonight seems auspicious... I feel like dumping out all the garbage that life has filled me with over the past couple of months, but I know that between the alcohol and the up-all-night, it will be much more maudlin and self-pitying than I really mean it to be.... so I think I will simply express my desire for a less-garbage-filled life.... and then leave it alone.
I don't remember why it was so important for me to blog tonight; maybe it's just because I have the opportunity to use my roommate's laptop and hang out in the living room, instead of holing up in my massively messy bedroom and eventually crawling into bed. Either way, I feel spent.
I shouldn't have said that John Lennon was the greatest voice for peace in two generations yesterday. To do so would be to discount and dismiss the contributions of people around the world, such as Bill Clinton, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Teresa. That is patently ridiculous, and I wish to modify the sentence as such: Mr. Lennon was one of the greatest peace activists the world will ever see, and it is supremely ironic that he met an entirely meaningless end.
Here comes the sun.
December 9, 2005
frohe geburtstag zum dir
Kevin's birthday is today; by the time you read this, he's 24, his hairline is receding, and the only thing he has left to look forward to is free coffee at Hardee's in 31 years. Wish him a happy birthday: vogeltanz@gmail.com.
I got my check today. Furthermore, the refund of all the garbage Enterprise Car Fuck You In The Ass tried to stick me with is coming tomorrow. Happy Kevin's Birthday to Dusty. Our long national nightmare is finally over.
The dough rolling machine at Pops made all kinds of horrible noise that made it impossible to understand anything anyone said unless they shouted. We have since replaced the guts of said machine, and now it is whisper-quiet, to the point where I occasionally insert dough and turn it off because I cannot tell that it is on.
There is a foosball tournament at Paul's on Saturday... I am too lazy/tired to look up a link for registration right now, but I will be sure to blog about the happenings afterward.
And, finally, today is the anniversary of John Lennon's unfortunate demise. It is very sad that a good and true soul can be extinguished by a darkened and sickened one, but alas, it is a fact of life. The good do not always triumph, and although evil does not often win the day, the damage that it does cannot be erased, nor can it be easily forgotten. May we all remember the vision and hope that Mr. Lennon embodied, and endeavor to carry out his wishes, despite the darkness that seeks to extinguish the light.
I got my check today. Furthermore, the refund of all the garbage Enterprise Car Fuck You In The Ass tried to stick me with is coming tomorrow. Happy Kevin's Birthday to Dusty. Our long national nightmare is finally over.
The dough rolling machine at Pops made all kinds of horrible noise that made it impossible to understand anything anyone said unless they shouted. We have since replaced the guts of said machine, and now it is whisper-quiet, to the point where I occasionally insert dough and turn it off because I cannot tell that it is on.
There is a foosball tournament at Paul's on Saturday... I am too lazy/tired to look up a link for registration right now, but I will be sure to blog about the happenings afterward.
And, finally, today is the anniversary of John Lennon's unfortunate demise. It is very sad that a good and true soul can be extinguished by a darkened and sickened one, but alas, it is a fact of life. The good do not always triumph, and although evil does not often win the day, the damage that it does cannot be erased, nor can it be easily forgotten. May we all remember the vision and hope that Mr. Lennon embodied, and endeavor to carry out his wishes, despite the darkness that seeks to extinguish the light.
November 27, 2005
what a f***ing joke
From the November 8, 2005 White House Press Briefing:
HELEN THOMAS: I'm asking about exemptions.
MR. McCLELLAN: Let me respond. And he would never authorize the use of torture. We have an obligation to do all that we can to protect the American people. We are engaged --
HELEN THOMAS: That's not the answer I'm asking for --
MR. McCLELLAN: It is an answer -- because the American people want to know that we are doing all within our power to prevent terrorist attacks from happening. There are people in this world who want to spread a hateful ideology that is based on killing innocent men, women and children. We saw what they can do on September 11th --
HELEN THOMAS: He didn't ask for an exemption --
MR. McCLELLAN: -- and we are going to --
HELEN THOMAS: -- answer that one question. I'm asking, is the administration asking for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: I am answering your question. The President has made it very clear that we are going to do --
HELEN THOMAS: You're not answering -- yes or no?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, you don't want the American people to hear what the facts are, Helen, and I'm going to tell them the facts.
HELEN THOMAS: -- the American people every day. I'm asking you, yes or no, did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: And let me respond. You've had your opportunity to ask the question. Now I'm going to respond to it.
HELEN THOMAS: If you could answer in a straight way.
MR. McCLELLAN: And I'm going to answer it, just like the President -- I just did, and the President has answered it numerous times.
HELEN THOMAS: -- yes or no --
MR. McCLELLAN: Our most important responsibility is to protect the American people. We are engaged in a global war against Islamic radicals who are intent on spreading a hateful ideology, and intent on killing innocent men, women and children.
HELEN THOMAS: Did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are going to do what is necessary to protect the American people.
HELEN THOMAS: Is that the answer?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are also going to do so in a way that adheres to our laws and to our values. We have made that very clear. The President directed everybody within this government that we do not engage in torture. We will not torture. He made that very clear.
HELEN THOMAS: Are you denying we asked for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, we will continue to work with the Congress on the issue that you brought up. The way you characterize it, that we're asking for exemption from torture, is just flat-out false, because there are laws that are on the books that prohibit the use of torture. And we adhere to those laws.
HELEN THOMAS: We did ask for an exemption; is that right? I mean, be simple -- this is a very simple question.
MR. McCLELLAN: I just answered your question. The President answered it last week.
HELEN THOMAS: What are we asking for?
HELEN THOMAS: Would you characterize what we're asking for?
MR. McCLELLAN: We're asking to do what is necessary to protect the American people in a way that is consistent with our laws and our treaty obligations.
HELEN THOMAS: I'm asking about exemptions.
MR. McCLELLAN: Let me respond. And he would never authorize the use of torture. We have an obligation to do all that we can to protect the American people. We are engaged --
HELEN THOMAS: That's not the answer I'm asking for --
MR. McCLELLAN: It is an answer -- because the American people want to know that we are doing all within our power to prevent terrorist attacks from happening. There are people in this world who want to spread a hateful ideology that is based on killing innocent men, women and children. We saw what they can do on September 11th --
HELEN THOMAS: He didn't ask for an exemption --
MR. McCLELLAN: -- and we are going to --
HELEN THOMAS: -- answer that one question. I'm asking, is the administration asking for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: I am answering your question. The President has made it very clear that we are going to do --
HELEN THOMAS: You're not answering -- yes or no?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, you don't want the American people to hear what the facts are, Helen, and I'm going to tell them the facts.
HELEN THOMAS: -- the American people every day. I'm asking you, yes or no, did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: And let me respond. You've had your opportunity to ask the question. Now I'm going to respond to it.
HELEN THOMAS: If you could answer in a straight way.
MR. McCLELLAN: And I'm going to answer it, just like the President -- I just did, and the President has answered it numerous times.
HELEN THOMAS: -- yes or no --
MR. McCLELLAN: Our most important responsibility is to protect the American people. We are engaged in a global war against Islamic radicals who are intent on spreading a hateful ideology, and intent on killing innocent men, women and children.
HELEN THOMAS: Did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are going to do what is necessary to protect the American people.
HELEN THOMAS: Is that the answer?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are also going to do so in a way that adheres to our laws and to our values. We have made that very clear. The President directed everybody within this government that we do not engage in torture. We will not torture. He made that very clear.
HELEN THOMAS: Are you denying we asked for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, we will continue to work with the Congress on the issue that you brought up. The way you characterize it, that we're asking for exemption from torture, is just flat-out false, because there are laws that are on the books that prohibit the use of torture. And we adhere to those laws.
HELEN THOMAS: We did ask for an exemption; is that right? I mean, be simple -- this is a very simple question.
MR. McCLELLAN: I just answered your question. The President answered it last week.
HELEN THOMAS: What are we asking for?
HELEN THOMAS: Would you characterize what we're asking for?
MR. McCLELLAN: We're asking to do what is necessary to protect the American people in a way that is consistent with our laws and our treaty obligations.
November 24, 2005
november 24th
Happy Thanksgiving!!
That phrase always looks so ridiculous to me... something about both words having capital letters. I don't know; I digress.
It's been almost eight months to the day since I walked away from the confines of the correctional system; in that time, I bought a car, went to SF, moved into my house, changed jobs, and went back to school. I'm playing good poker, I'm doing acceptably well in school, and I'm looking forward to when the Park District pours the ice rink behind our house so that I can go skating.
Particularly when you think about it against the background of Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, the tsunami in Asia, or any one of innumerable disasters around the world (and close to home) in the last year or so, being able to take such clearly defined steps forward towards my own goals and destinations is .... t3h r0x0r. molodiets. ee desu.
Today I just wanted to use this space to reflect for a few minutes, and to share my gratitude and joy with the two people in the audience. So I did, the distilled results are viewable above, and there was lots of ensuing joy and gratitude. OMG U R 4LL T3H B35T!!!!!!!!11!!!!11eleven!!!!11! Best wishes to everyone, everywhere; no matter whether you're with family, friends, or 30 cats and a turtle.
That phrase always looks so ridiculous to me... something about both words having capital letters. I don't know; I digress.
It's been almost eight months to the day since I walked away from the confines of the correctional system; in that time, I bought a car, went to SF, moved into my house, changed jobs, and went back to school. I'm playing good poker, I'm doing acceptably well in school, and I'm looking forward to when the Park District pours the ice rink behind our house so that I can go skating.
Particularly when you think about it against the background of Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, the tsunami in Asia, or any one of innumerable disasters around the world (and close to home) in the last year or so, being able to take such clearly defined steps forward towards my own goals and destinations is .... t3h r0x0r. molodiets. ee desu.
Today I just wanted to use this space to reflect for a few minutes, and to share my gratitude and joy with the two people in the audience. So I did, the distilled results are viewable above, and there was lots of ensuing joy and gratitude. OMG U R 4LL T3H B35T!!!!!!!!11!!!!11eleven!!!!11! Best wishes to everyone, everywhere; no matter whether you're with family, friends, or 30 cats and a turtle.
November 23, 2005
i'm afraid it's not keeping any drinks anything any more
The insurance ordeal is nearly over. I sent them the title to Stan, and "the check is in the mail," .... literally.
In other news, my PC keyboard's space bar was not functioning properly due to unfortunate beer spillage. I pounded on it a few times after an unfortunate hand of poker was followed by an inability to type a pithy comment about my opponent's mother.
Now it works fine.
Also, I was at the mall yesterday, and picked up a turtleneck shirt to cover up the latest evidence that I really am some sort of man-whore. It appears that the evidence will be gone by tomorrow anyways, and I really only bought the shirt so that I wouldn't have to deal with my mom making fun of me when I go home for thanksgiving.... I guess it will have to wait until next time.
While I was there, I of course had to play a couple rounds of Dance Dance Revolution, just to see if I still had the chops... I more or less do; my sight-reading skill has declined, and I tire out faster, but I can still finish most 8- or 9-foot songs. The guy that played with me, though, is probably the second-best DDR player I've ever seen, right behind that crazy kid in SF that tried to beat MAX 300 on heavy mode. I was awestruck and humbled.
I am intensely cheerful about the holiday season this year. Anybody who bitches about having to see their family or put up with in-laws or travel or anything should have to spend the holiday season at the state hospital, with short weekly visits from family and closest friends the only link to what was once home, and crappy prison thanksgiving dinner.
In other news, my PC keyboard's space bar was not functioning properly due to unfortunate beer spillage. I pounded on it a few times after an unfortunate hand of poker was followed by an inability to type a pithy comment about my opponent's mother.
Now it works fine.
Also, I was at the mall yesterday, and picked up a turtleneck shirt to cover up the latest evidence that I really am some sort of man-whore. It appears that the evidence will be gone by tomorrow anyways, and I really only bought the shirt so that I wouldn't have to deal with my mom making fun of me when I go home for thanksgiving.... I guess it will have to wait until next time.
While I was there, I of course had to play a couple rounds of Dance Dance Revolution, just to see if I still had the chops... I more or less do; my sight-reading skill has declined, and I tire out faster, but I can still finish most 8- or 9-foot songs. The guy that played with me, though, is probably the second-best DDR player I've ever seen, right behind that crazy kid in SF that tried to beat MAX 300 on heavy mode. I was awestruck and humbled.
I am intensely cheerful about the holiday season this year. Anybody who bitches about having to see their family or put up with in-laws or travel or anything should have to spend the holiday season at the state hospital, with short weekly visits from family and closest friends the only link to what was once home, and crappy prison thanksgiving dinner.
November 19, 2005
wtf
So... the House passes $50 billion dollars in budget cuts, mostly in social programs like medicaid, school lunches, food stamps, and the like. This week, the House takes up a $60 billion tax cut proposal, mostly directed at (wait for it) wealthy individuals ($1m+/year).
Go figure.
this really twisted my dimple.
oh, and it was Jon WEAVER, not Jon LEVER.
A month later, the insurance company admits that it was the girl's fault that my car got wrecked. It's still at the gas station where I had it towed; it's possible that there is snow inside. Storage charges accrue.
I haven't walked to school in the cold since 9th grade, with rare exceptions. I didn't like it then, and I like it less now.
thank you, that is all.
Go figure.
this really twisted my dimple.
oh, and it was Jon WEAVER, not Jon LEVER.
A month later, the insurance company admits that it was the girl's fault that my car got wrecked. It's still at the gas station where I had it towed; it's possible that there is snow inside. Storage charges accrue.
I haven't walked to school in the cold since 9th grade, with rare exceptions. I didn't like it then, and I like it less now.
thank you, that is all.
November 6, 2005
long time gone
Phew. It's certainly been a while.
I apologize for the long delay between posts. Reading too much of dailyKos and the Huffington Post really makes me hate America, and the last thing both my readers need to see is another "The White House is full of crooks" post. We all know that already. That aside, there is much to discuss. I'll try to be brief and informative, as I know the two of you lead busy lives.
(sip of coffee)
First, a question: Which is preferable to you? A country where the press is monitored and censored by the government, or a country where the press is free from government sanction, but marginalized and propagandized by that same government? Through history, those options tend to be two sides of the same coin; just read an article about international politics from Pravda or Xinhua (not that China makes any claims about its media being free, at least that anyone believes). Or, for an example that hits a little closer to home, consider the New York Times. All of these are outstanding examples of government censorship and meddling in the "free" media.
Wait, what? The Gray Lady?
Sure. Take, for example, this piece about Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. (NY Times, free registration may be required) How nice that the Times chose to do a human interest piece on a person whose human side must, by virtue of the job he is applying for, be put aside in favor of larger concerns. And, of course, there's the magical lie that Judy Miller heard from the administration and repeated as though it were fact. Meanwhile, Miller is the furthest thing from being fired for lying and conspiring with the White House to fleece the American people, and the Times continues to be clowned by its own reporters.
So, the question. Is it better when you know what you're getting, or when you think you're getting the real deal but you're not? Here's my suggestion - at the uppermost levels of the media, there's not much difference between the two, because the result on the part of the consumer is the same: for the most part, they think they're getting mostly, if not wholly, honest "reporting." The thing about repressive, totalitarian governments crushing opposition to the state-owned media is that it's hard to keep that sort of thing going in a democracy, particularly one with a large middle and/or upper class; one can always start their own broadcasting company (or blog ^_^). The other thing is that, like we saw in Yugoslavia, eventually the disconnect between what the media is reporting ("the resistance are terrorist, fascist dogs and should be beaten") and what is actually happening (police beating old women and teenagers in the streets) becomes so large that people simply cannot ignore the cognitive dissonance that results. Either the government is lying to you, or the pictures you saw and the stories you heard were false. Generally, people make the right choice and overthrow their totalitarian leaders (if they can).
So instead, semi-authoritarian regimes use constant, medium pressure on news agencies to keep them (dis)honest. Although in the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that Pravda takes every negative report about the Russian government to sling mud in return at whoever is denouncing their human rights violations, most people in Russia don't see it that way. They see it as Russia defending itself from the constant, unjustified onslaught of negative opinion from the West. In the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that China filters its news through the government. However, in China, anybody that knows about it doesn't talk about it, and most people don't even think about it. So business continues as usual, and the public is more or less convinced that they are getting as much of the story as they need/deserve.
Democracies use the media as a tool, too. Refer to that other paragraph up there, where I indicate at least two major instances of the New York Times, the "paper of record," blatantly propagandizing for the White House. Hundreds of thousands of people will read or have read those articles and believe every word of them. Not everybody, mind you, but many, many people. This gives a nasty advantage to the government; under the guise of a free press, the information leaked to the paper then becomes evidence for what the administration wants you to believe (exhibit A: Dick Cheney going on Meet the Press the first week of September, 2002 and asking, "Did you see the article in the Times (unspoken: that we planted) this week? It says Iraq is building nuclear weapons." So the end result is the same. People read fake news that is ostensibly less fake than the news in authoritarian regimes, but take it as though it were, you know, real.
The biggest difference is that in America, there are lots and lots of blogs dedicated to the truth, or at least opinion that is clearly demarcated as opinion. The HuffPo, although it is growing a new generation of young America-haters, will not be shut down any time soon. Neither will dailyKos, the most popular blog in the Ecosystem. And perhaps that is the greatest measure of the free press; after all, the Times has to worry about things like access to top levels of government, and its shamed, discredited reporters turning on it and writing tell-all books about the massive dysfunction at all editorial levels of the paper. I will never meet with Dick Cheney, and I have no staff (although most days, it's tough enough to keep myself in line). The unspoken rules are different for me, and that gives me a greater measure of freedom than the upper levels of the press. (Conversely, I have somewhat less responsibility to my readers, but that's a story for a different day) Hence the boldface.
So that's what I think; discuss freely.
On to my second point. President Clinton spoke at the University of Minnesota last night. I listened to most of his speech and the Q&A session on Minnesota Public Radio afterward. (link to article here, no audio, sorry) This speech made me long for a time when instead of sneaky crooks and relentless cronyism headed by a puppet with no marketable political skills whatsoever, we had a president who could, in the words of Walter Mondale, "think, who could write, who could connect with people, and who could SPEAK." President Bush could NEVER speak like this. He could never come close to writing a speech this eloquent, and he could never reaffirm anyone's belief in the greatness of America and the world, unless he ran around in a flight suit with an American flag in one hand, a bullhorn in the other, and shouted "STAY THE COURSE!!! FREEDOM!!! I WILL NOT COMMENT UNTIL THE INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETE!!!" in front of a giant banner that said Mission Accomplished. And even then, probably not.
I digress. At the end of Clinton's speech, he wanted to give the audience hope that the world was not dominated by a handful of corporations that had reached their long tendrils into the upper echelons of government, and this is how he did it. He said that these three reasons had hardly ever been mentioned in the press, and that the three had never been mentioned together (and they remained that way, even after the MPR.org news coverage), so I'm doing it here for you, paraphrasing and not quoting his words (please don't sue me):
1. Democracy is spreading. More than half of the people in the world live under democratic regimes. 60,000 mayors in China are either elected, or at least sensitive to public opinion. Democracy is not a safeguard against bad government (imagine that), but it at least gives people a chance to get the bad government they might have wanted, and at a local level, it can affect positive change. Clinton cites the example of the mayor of a major Chinese city fielding many, many complains from his citizens about the disrepair of the streets in his city. If the Chinese people feel free enough to complain about the streets... what's next?
2. The Internet is spreading, and its use as a political organizing tool is growing exponentially. Many thanks go to Howard Dean and Joe Trippi for organizing the largest grassroots presidential primary campaign, ever. Their organization has been mimicked by other, more successful candidates, and a similar system will no doubt be in place (with enhancements thanks to the power of hindsight) for the 2008 presidential contest. The Bush-Clinton Katrina fund has received the vast majority of its donations over the Internet, and the average amount of those donations has been $50 or less. Average people like you and me have come together to help people whose lives were devastated half a world away, and it is a testament to the power of the Internet that it has become the primary preferred medium for grassroots public action.
3. Non-governmental organizations are increasing in number. Bill Gates, though he is the founder of one of the most evil corporations in the world, is dedicated to spending his fortune before he dies, and he has given over a billion dollars to prevent disease in Africa. He has also given money to 250,000 high schools here in America. His foundation is the single largest philanthropic organization in the world. He is only the tip of the iceberg - there are thousands and thousands of organizations with specific purposes that you can give your money to, and they have pledged to do some good with it. (I recommend starting with my favorites, the ACLU, Democracy for America, and Minnesota Public Radio.) NGOs are even spreading throughout the world; even though Pravda can't be trusted to not hate the haters, there are over 60,000 NGOs in Russia.
The fundamental point is this: There are now more ways than ever for the individual citizen to do public good. This is a trend that is not shrinking or disappearing; it is expanding, and can only continue to do so. China let in the Internet, in a censored format; that is one Pandora's Box that they definitely cannot close. Dean and Trippi let politics onto the Internet in a meaningful way, and that will change the face of campaigning in the USA forever. There will be elections we are happy about and elections that take giant steps backwards, but the American federal government is not the barometer of progress for the world.
Lucky for us.
I apologize for the long delay between posts. Reading too much of dailyKos and the Huffington Post really makes me hate America, and the last thing both my readers need to see is another "The White House is full of crooks" post. We all know that already. That aside, there is much to discuss. I'll try to be brief and informative, as I know the two of you lead busy lives.
(sip of coffee)
First, a question: Which is preferable to you? A country where the press is monitored and censored by the government, or a country where the press is free from government sanction, but marginalized and propagandized by that same government? Through history, those options tend to be two sides of the same coin; just read an article about international politics from Pravda or Xinhua (not that China makes any claims about its media being free, at least that anyone believes). Or, for an example that hits a little closer to home, consider the New York Times. All of these are outstanding examples of government censorship and meddling in the "free" media.
Wait, what? The Gray Lady?
Sure. Take, for example, this piece about Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. (NY Times, free registration may be required) How nice that the Times chose to do a human interest piece on a person whose human side must, by virtue of the job he is applying for, be put aside in favor of larger concerns. And, of course, there's the magical lie that Judy Miller heard from the administration and repeated as though it were fact. Meanwhile, Miller is the furthest thing from being fired for lying and conspiring with the White House to fleece the American people, and the Times continues to be clowned by its own reporters.
So, the question. Is it better when you know what you're getting, or when you think you're getting the real deal but you're not? Here's my suggestion - at the uppermost levels of the media, there's not much difference between the two, because the result on the part of the consumer is the same: for the most part, they think they're getting mostly, if not wholly, honest "reporting." The thing about repressive, totalitarian governments crushing opposition to the state-owned media is that it's hard to keep that sort of thing going in a democracy, particularly one with a large middle and/or upper class; one can always start their own broadcasting company (or blog ^_^). The other thing is that, like we saw in Yugoslavia, eventually the disconnect between what the media is reporting ("the resistance are terrorist, fascist dogs and should be beaten") and what is actually happening (police beating old women and teenagers in the streets) becomes so large that people simply cannot ignore the cognitive dissonance that results. Either the government is lying to you, or the pictures you saw and the stories you heard were false. Generally, people make the right choice and overthrow their totalitarian leaders (if they can).
So instead, semi-authoritarian regimes use constant, medium pressure on news agencies to keep them (dis)honest. Although in the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that Pravda takes every negative report about the Russian government to sling mud in return at whoever is denouncing their human rights violations, most people in Russia don't see it that way. They see it as Russia defending itself from the constant, unjustified onslaught of negative opinion from the West. In the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that China filters its news through the government. However, in China, anybody that knows about it doesn't talk about it, and most people don't even think about it. So business continues as usual, and the public is more or less convinced that they are getting as much of the story as they need/deserve.
Democracies use the media as a tool, too. Refer to that other paragraph up there, where I indicate at least two major instances of the New York Times, the "paper of record," blatantly propagandizing for the White House. Hundreds of thousands of people will read or have read those articles and believe every word of them. Not everybody, mind you, but many, many people. This gives a nasty advantage to the government; under the guise of a free press, the information leaked to the paper then becomes evidence for what the administration wants you to believe (exhibit A: Dick Cheney going on Meet the Press the first week of September, 2002 and asking, "Did you see the article in the Times (unspoken: that we planted) this week? It says Iraq is building nuclear weapons." So the end result is the same. People read fake news that is ostensibly less fake than the news in authoritarian regimes, but take it as though it were, you know, real.
The biggest difference is that in America, there are lots and lots of blogs dedicated to the truth, or at least opinion that is clearly demarcated as opinion. The HuffPo, although it is growing a new generation of young America-haters, will not be shut down any time soon. Neither will dailyKos, the most popular blog in the Ecosystem. And perhaps that is the greatest measure of the free press; after all, the Times has to worry about things like access to top levels of government, and its shamed, discredited reporters turning on it and writing tell-all books about the massive dysfunction at all editorial levels of the paper. I will never meet with Dick Cheney, and I have no staff (although most days, it's tough enough to keep myself in line). The unspoken rules are different for me, and that gives me a greater measure of freedom than the upper levels of the press. (Conversely, I have somewhat less responsibility to my readers, but that's a story for a different day) Hence the boldface.
So that's what I think; discuss freely.
On to my second point. President Clinton spoke at the University of Minnesota last night. I listened to most of his speech and the Q&A session on Minnesota Public Radio afterward. (link to article here, no audio, sorry) This speech made me long for a time when instead of sneaky crooks and relentless cronyism headed by a puppet with no marketable political skills whatsoever, we had a president who could, in the words of Walter Mondale, "think, who could write, who could connect with people, and who could SPEAK." President Bush could NEVER speak like this. He could never come close to writing a speech this eloquent, and he could never reaffirm anyone's belief in the greatness of America and the world, unless he ran around in a flight suit with an American flag in one hand, a bullhorn in the other, and shouted "STAY THE COURSE!!! FREEDOM!!! I WILL NOT COMMENT UNTIL THE INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETE!!!" in front of a giant banner that said Mission Accomplished. And even then, probably not.
I digress. At the end of Clinton's speech, he wanted to give the audience hope that the world was not dominated by a handful of corporations that had reached their long tendrils into the upper echelons of government, and this is how he did it. He said that these three reasons had hardly ever been mentioned in the press, and that the three had never been mentioned together (and they remained that way, even after the MPR.org news coverage), so I'm doing it here for you, paraphrasing and not quoting his words (please don't sue me):
1. Democracy is spreading. More than half of the people in the world live under democratic regimes. 60,000 mayors in China are either elected, or at least sensitive to public opinion. Democracy is not a safeguard against bad government (imagine that), but it at least gives people a chance to get the bad government they might have wanted, and at a local level, it can affect positive change. Clinton cites the example of the mayor of a major Chinese city fielding many, many complains from his citizens about the disrepair of the streets in his city. If the Chinese people feel free enough to complain about the streets... what's next?
2. The Internet is spreading, and its use as a political organizing tool is growing exponentially. Many thanks go to Howard Dean and Joe Trippi for organizing the largest grassroots presidential primary campaign, ever. Their organization has been mimicked by other, more successful candidates, and a similar system will no doubt be in place (with enhancements thanks to the power of hindsight) for the 2008 presidential contest. The Bush-Clinton Katrina fund has received the vast majority of its donations over the Internet, and the average amount of those donations has been $50 or less. Average people like you and me have come together to help people whose lives were devastated half a world away, and it is a testament to the power of the Internet that it has become the primary preferred medium for grassroots public action.
3. Non-governmental organizations are increasing in number. Bill Gates, though he is the founder of one of the most evil corporations in the world, is dedicated to spending his fortune before he dies, and he has given over a billion dollars to prevent disease in Africa. He has also given money to 250,000 high schools here in America. His foundation is the single largest philanthropic organization in the world. He is only the tip of the iceberg - there are thousands and thousands of organizations with specific purposes that you can give your money to, and they have pledged to do some good with it. (I recommend starting with my favorites, the ACLU, Democracy for America, and Minnesota Public Radio.) NGOs are even spreading throughout the world; even though Pravda can't be trusted to not hate the haters, there are over 60,000 NGOs in Russia.
The fundamental point is this: There are now more ways than ever for the individual citizen to do public good. This is a trend that is not shrinking or disappearing; it is expanding, and can only continue to do so. China let in the Internet, in a censored format; that is one Pandora's Box that they definitely cannot close. Dean and Trippi let politics onto the Internet in a meaningful way, and that will change the face of campaigning in the USA forever. There will be elections we are happy about and elections that take giant steps backwards, but the American federal government is not the barometer of progress for the world.
Lucky for us.
October 28, 2005
does he rofl? or lmao?
i like to laugh. a lot. it soothes the soul.
occasionally, i will laugh so hard that i cry. less frequently, i will laugh so hard that the pain in my belly demands that i think about something unpleasant so that the laughter ends, because it simply hurts too much to continue. Fits like this usually only happen between me and my brother, because he tends to laugh with great intensity, which makes me laugh, which makes him laugh harder, and so on until we both have little red lines over our abdominal muscles, tears streaming down our faces, and can no longer breathe.
this killed me. in fact, while i was posting this, i could not look at the link or the artlcle for fear that i would bust out laughing again.
however, now the pain has subsided, and i am ready and willing to venture back into the funniest (or possibly second-funniest) thing I have ever read. it's probably not as awesome if you've never owned a cat, but if you have, be prepared to have the rest of your day destroyed by the funniest thing you have ever read.
none of the above is hyperbole.
occasionally, i will laugh so hard that i cry. less frequently, i will laugh so hard that the pain in my belly demands that i think about something unpleasant so that the laughter ends, because it simply hurts too much to continue. Fits like this usually only happen between me and my brother, because he tends to laugh with great intensity, which makes me laugh, which makes him laugh harder, and so on until we both have little red lines over our abdominal muscles, tears streaming down our faces, and can no longer breathe.
this killed me. in fact, while i was posting this, i could not look at the link or the artlcle for fear that i would bust out laughing again.
however, now the pain has subsided, and i am ready and willing to venture back into the funniest (or possibly second-funniest) thing I have ever read. it's probably not as awesome if you've never owned a cat, but if you have, be prepared to have the rest of your day destroyed by the funniest thing you have ever read.
none of the above is hyperbole.
October 26, 2005
down the rabbit hole
Здравствуйте!!
(hello; "zdrasvytsente")
I can pronounce the words, but I don't know what they mean.
Furthermore, the Russian FARK does not correspond in any way to the American FARK.
Fascinating. If you can read Cyrillic, that is.
(hello; "zdrasvytsente")
I can pronounce the words, but I don't know what they mean.
Furthermore, the Russian FARK does not correspond in any way to the American FARK.
Fascinating. If you can read Cyrillic, that is.
it's a trap 2.0
We were right. We were always right, and we were all right.
Liars and crooks, and now their closely-knit circle of friends is unraveling like that cheap scarf your cousin knitted for you that you wore once and got snagged on a door hinge.
Now if only the Democrats could get their hand-wringing heads out of their asses and govern...
it reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons I saw on DVD last week, from the 4th season. It aired in 1991. There's a chase scene that goes through both the Republican and Democratic national conventions. During the scene, you get to see banners hanging at each convention:
Republican: "We want the worst for everyone!" "We're just evil!"
Democrat: "We hate ourselves!" "We can't govern!"
ah, it saddens me how political satire remains the same, even though the years keep ticking by.
In other news, I got the first contact from the wreck-girl's insurance agency today. I will call them in the morning with a list of demands ten miles long. I am suffused with confidence befitting Napoleon as he invaded Malta.
Liars and crooks, and now their closely-knit circle of friends is unraveling like that cheap scarf your cousin knitted for you that you wore once and got snagged on a door hinge.
Now if only the Democrats could get their hand-wringing heads out of their asses and govern...
it reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons I saw on DVD last week, from the 4th season. It aired in 1991. There's a chase scene that goes through both the Republican and Democratic national conventions. During the scene, you get to see banners hanging at each convention:
Republican: "We want the worst for everyone!" "We're just evil!"
Democrat: "We hate ourselves!" "We can't govern!"
ah, it saddens me how political satire remains the same, even though the years keep ticking by.
In other news, I got the first contact from the wreck-girl's insurance agency today. I will call them in the morning with a list of demands ten miles long. I am suffused with confidence befitting Napoleon as he invaded Malta.
i've created a monster
PokerStars Tournament #14267119, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $20.00/$2.00
180 players
Total Prize Pool: $3600.00
Tournament started - 2005/10/25 - 22:02:35 (ET)
Dear hakatak,
You finished the tournament in 3rd place.
A $428.40 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
You earned 178.65 tournament leader points in this tournament.
For information about our tournament leader board, see our web site at
http://www.pokerstars.com/tlb_tournament_rankings.html
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
Buy-In: $20.00/$2.00
180 players
Total Prize Pool: $3600.00
Tournament started - 2005/10/25 - 22:02:35 (ET)
Dear hakatak,
You finished the tournament in 3rd place.
A $428.40 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
You earned 178.65 tournament leader points in this tournament.
For information about our tournament leader board, see our web site at
http://www.pokerstars.com/tlb_tournament_rankings.html
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
October 22, 2005
RIP
Stan the Civic
March 20, 2005 - October 21, 2005
my car got wrecked today.
i was driving up the exit from columbia rd. to demers ave., while working at pops tonight. stopped at the north-south light, where demers ave. crosses right in front of pops, team electronics, etc.
light turns green, so i go. since my light was green, the cross-traffic light was red, a fact which escaped the notice of the 18-year-old female driver of a 1994 ford explorer. a perfect t-bone, right in the front passenger door.
what amazed me was how long the whole ordeal seemed to take, and yet how quickly it was over. the headlights, noise and shower of glass took like four hours, but i didn't even notice the flying plastic or crushing of the passenger door/dashboard. she was profusely sorry, and i wanted to lay into her, asking her how sorry would help me get another job, but that would have just made her cry.
so far as i know, i'm okay. my right hand instinctively went up to protect my face, and that was pretty much the only exposed area of skin on my body at the moment, so it caught quite a bit of glass. i went to the hospital to have them take it out and swab me down with some antibiotics, and they took a couple x-rays. i wanted to keep the glass, but all the fragments were miniscule. my fingers are a teeny bit broken, too, but not to the point where they need a cast or splints or anything. ("1% fracture.") during the great deal of down-time at the hospital, i had horrific visions of waking up tomorrow a quadraplegic, but the doc tells me that is highly unlikely.
the anaesthetic has mostly worn off, and now my fingers hurt like hell.
my first real taste of freedom when they let me out of work-release was getting into Stan and driving away.
March 20, 2005 - October 21, 2005
my car got wrecked today.
i was driving up the exit from columbia rd. to demers ave., while working at pops tonight. stopped at the north-south light, where demers ave. crosses right in front of pops, team electronics, etc.
light turns green, so i go. since my light was green, the cross-traffic light was red, a fact which escaped the notice of the 18-year-old female driver of a 1994 ford explorer. a perfect t-bone, right in the front passenger door.
what amazed me was how long the whole ordeal seemed to take, and yet how quickly it was over. the headlights, noise and shower of glass took like four hours, but i didn't even notice the flying plastic or crushing of the passenger door/dashboard. she was profusely sorry, and i wanted to lay into her, asking her how sorry would help me get another job, but that would have just made her cry.
so far as i know, i'm okay. my right hand instinctively went up to protect my face, and that was pretty much the only exposed area of skin on my body at the moment, so it caught quite a bit of glass. i went to the hospital to have them take it out and swab me down with some antibiotics, and they took a couple x-rays. i wanted to keep the glass, but all the fragments were miniscule. my fingers are a teeny bit broken, too, but not to the point where they need a cast or splints or anything. ("1% fracture.") during the great deal of down-time at the hospital, i had horrific visions of waking up tomorrow a quadraplegic, but the doc tells me that is highly unlikely.
the anaesthetic has mostly worn off, and now my fingers hurt like hell.
my first real taste of freedom when they let me out of work-release was getting into Stan and driving away.
October 19, 2005
unpleasant things
three more kinds of people that annoy me:
1) people who have pictures of themselves as their pokerstars avatars
2) people who have pictures of babies as their pokerstars avatars
3) people who see the funniest picture ever as someone else's pokerstars avatar and then use it as their own
that is all.
1) people who have pictures of themselves as their pokerstars avatars
2) people who have pictures of babies as their pokerstars avatars
3) people who see the funniest picture ever as someone else's pokerstars avatar and then use it as their own
that is all.
October 18, 2005
October 16, 2005
October 12, 2005
untitled 16
The chalk wars have begun, and the first clear losers are the kids that always look at the sidewalks in front of them as they walk around campus. The new campaign appears to be sponsored by the 10% Society, the GBLT support group on campus. Walking into the Union yesterday, I was met by a big pink "Gay is OK!" sign scrawled on the ground beneath me.
It sure is.
It sure is.
October 11, 2005
October 9, 2005
and another thing!!!
so, a short list of things going very badly for the bush administration:
1) Iraq is a clusterfuck, still.
2) FEMA actively prevented good things from happening in New Orleans. New Orleans may be so digustingly dirty that it is actually toxic. President Bush outlines massive money to immediately be given to Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown, and Root, in a no-bid contract to take care of the "number one priority" in the hurricane aftermath: restoring military bases.
3) NY Times reporter Judy Miller's newly-acquired (to use the Times's own parlance) notes indicate that Lewis Libby and Karl Rove spoke about Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson a couple of weeks before Robert Novak's story came out. Likelihood of presidential/vice presidential involvement in the whole situation seems *extremely* high, along with possibility of everyone being indicted or at least associated with a conspiracy.
4) Senate majority leader (a republican) under investigation by the SEC.
5) House majority leader indicted.
6) Karl Rove agrees to testify for the Plamegate grand jury without a guarantee of immunity.
7) President disagrees with 9/10 of the Senate, who all say torture should be expressly forbidden.
8) Conservatives are angry because President Bush nominated his own lawyer to be SCOTUS justice.
And what is the lead story in all the papers today?
New York subways shut down AMID FEARS of a terrorist attack.
Rumors spreading that the plan was initiated in Iraq.
It never fails... just when things can't get any worse for Bush Inc., they stoke the fears of the populace with the possibility of another terrorist attack. No attack, mind you, just "credible evidence" that nobody can talk about. Oh, and the Iraq thing thrown in there for good measure, you know, since the Prezdint just gave a speech about how if we get out of Iraq, we're giving it to the terrorists.
This time, I don't think it's going to work.
1) Iraq is a clusterfuck, still.
2) FEMA actively prevented good things from happening in New Orleans. New Orleans may be so digustingly dirty that it is actually toxic. President Bush outlines massive money to immediately be given to Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown, and Root, in a no-bid contract to take care of the "number one priority" in the hurricane aftermath: restoring military bases.
3) NY Times reporter Judy Miller's newly-acquired (to use the Times's own parlance) notes indicate that Lewis Libby and Karl Rove spoke about Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson a couple of weeks before Robert Novak's story came out. Likelihood of presidential/vice presidential involvement in the whole situation seems *extremely* high, along with possibility of everyone being indicted or at least associated with a conspiracy.
4) Senate majority leader (a republican) under investigation by the SEC.
5) House majority leader indicted.
6) Karl Rove agrees to testify for the Plamegate grand jury without a guarantee of immunity.
7) President disagrees with 9/10 of the Senate, who all say torture should be expressly forbidden.
8) Conservatives are angry because President Bush nominated his own lawyer to be SCOTUS justice.
And what is the lead story in all the papers today?
New York subways shut down AMID FEARS of a terrorist attack.
Rumors spreading that the plan was initiated in Iraq.
It never fails... just when things can't get any worse for Bush Inc., they stoke the fears of the populace with the possibility of another terrorist attack. No attack, mind you, just "credible evidence" that nobody can talk about. Oh, and the Iraq thing thrown in there for good measure, you know, since the Prezdint just gave a speech about how if we get out of Iraq, we're giving it to the terrorists.
This time, I don't think it's going to work.
past-blast-ification
"You're listening to Minnesota Public Radio on 102.7, KNTN... My name is Jon Lever, and..."
at this point, I was struck dumb. Not THAT Jon Lever.
Not screaming-freakout, Central debate coach, Ex-Lax-in-your-morning-coffee, barking spiders, Lever 2000 Jon Lever.
No way.
... is it?
and, on a sadder note, we put one of the family cats to sleep a couple days ago. Boots had been having problems with arthritis for a long time, and she'd gotten to the point where she could only take one or two steps before stopping to rest, and she spent most of her time retreating into corners of the house, so we figured her time had come. She was cute and cuddly and would always lick you right after she bit you. We had a little ritual that we'd always do, even after I moved out of the house - whenever I'd see her, we'd sniff each other up close until we bumped noses. I'm a little sad that she's gone, but I really think that she was in a great deal of pain pretty much all the time. Beyond that, there isn't much an atheist can say; the only things that come to mind are silly platitudes about kitty heaven, and we all know better than that.
at this point, I was struck dumb. Not THAT Jon Lever.
Not screaming-freakout, Central debate coach, Ex-Lax-in-your-morning-coffee, barking spiders, Lever 2000 Jon Lever.
No way.
... is it?
and, on a sadder note, we put one of the family cats to sleep a couple days ago. Boots had been having problems with arthritis for a long time, and she'd gotten to the point where she could only take one or two steps before stopping to rest, and she spent most of her time retreating into corners of the house, so we figured her time had come. She was cute and cuddly and would always lick you right after she bit you. We had a little ritual that we'd always do, even after I moved out of the house - whenever I'd see her, we'd sniff each other up close until we bumped noses. I'm a little sad that she's gone, but I really think that she was in a great deal of pain pretty much all the time. Beyond that, there isn't much an atheist can say; the only things that come to mind are silly platitudes about kitty heaven, and we all know better than that.
October 6, 2005
since i was the first i guess i'll be the last to leave
mental health day.
first day in a while i haven't had to take a quiz or a test, write a story for the student, do work-study stuff in the studio, or deliver pizza. sweet freedom. i slept til noon.
More proof that the Supreme Court picked the wrong president.
Harriet Miers scares the shit out of me. If you do a little research, you'll see that she's a wacky, Bible-literalist evangelical. Not only that, but SHE'S THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYER. When the Supreme Court has to hear arguments about the crimes that Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Dick Cheney, Bill Frist, Tom DeLay, President Bush, Don Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, and all the other career criminal scum that has somehow worked its way to the highest levels of government have committed.... who do you think is going to vote to send them to prison?
Not Harriet Miers.
first day in a while i haven't had to take a quiz or a test, write a story for the student, do work-study stuff in the studio, or deliver pizza. sweet freedom. i slept til noon.
More proof that the Supreme Court picked the wrong president.
Harriet Miers scares the shit out of me. If you do a little research, you'll see that she's a wacky, Bible-literalist evangelical. Not only that, but SHE'S THE PRESIDENT'S LAWYER. When the Supreme Court has to hear arguments about the crimes that Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Dick Cheney, Bill Frist, Tom DeLay, President Bush, Don Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, and all the other career criminal scum that has somehow worked its way to the highest levels of government have committed.... who do you think is going to vote to send them to prison?
Not Harriet Miers.
October 4, 2005
do you agree with dusty?
the leaves are turning.
I won't enjoy it much today, due to cold wind and whipping rain, but walking home from school yesterday gave me a chance to crane my neck at the trees lining University Ave., all in varying degrees of yellow and green. It doesn't smell like fall, though. Not just yet.
For the last two weeks, there has been a veritable plethora, an encyclopedia's worth of chalk drawing on every walkable sidewalk on campus. Until Friday, they were all the same: the cryptic message, "Do You Agree With Travis?" Although the buzz on campus was so thick you could swim in it, I knew immediately what was up: the Campus Crusade for Christ had engaged in yet another viral marketing scheme.
They do this every year. Tossing around someone's name, all over campus, on every sidewalk, in every newspaper, for a month leading up to a sermon or speaker sponsored by the Crusade and a few other virulently Christian organizations. They don't say anything about their purpose, or who their sponsor is... all they want to know is the answer to a simple question (that is unanswerable, of course): Do you agree with Travis?
Swami Dusty prognosticates once again: When an auditorium full of people show up to meet this Travis person and figure out if they agree with him or not, the lights will dim. A young, white man will strut on stage, emanating pure confidence and charisma the likes of which have not been seen since Dane Cook was here last spring. Applause and cheering from the crowd will be hushed by Travis's dazzling white smile. "Hello, friends!" he will say. "I have a few questions for you."
"Wouldn't you agree that dorm life is cramped and stinky?" cheers and applause.
"Wouldn't you agree that college is too much work, all at once?" cheers and applause.
"Wouldn't you agree that PeopleSoft is the Devil incarnate?" cheers and applause.
"Wouldn't you agree that murdering babies is a crime, and any mother that murders her unborn baby should get the death penalty?" scattered cheers, some confusion.
"Wouldn't you agree that evolution is just a weak theory invented by weak minds, and we should teach intelligent design in biology classes?" cheers-- wait, what? ...yeah, cheers. more scattered cheers.
"Wouldn't you agree that Christ is our savior, and all those Arabs and Jews and Hindus and whatevers need to SEE THE LIGHT??" MASSIVE cheers and applause.
I want to go to this stupid sermon so that during the Q and A, I can drop some real science on him. Ask him about the constant failure of the Catholic church to own up to the disgusting behavior of a few of its priests, and the even more disgusting coverups perpetrated even now by the bishops and the Vatican to keep pedophiles in the fold. I'd really like to ask him why Kate Moss was castigated by the entire modeling industry when tabloid pictures of her using cocaine appeared all over the world, while Brad Pitt was wrecking his marriage to Jennifer Aniston on the set of his new movie, with his co-star, and the Christians of the world remained silent. I want to ask him about Rev. Pat Robertson's decree that we should start assassinating foreign heads of state. I'd particularly like to ask him what Jesus would say about Rev. Fred Phelps and his congregation's deplorable practice of turning funerals of gay and lesbian people (as well as FALLEN AMERICAN SOLDIERS) into anti-gay protest rallies. I'm not going to do any of that, though. I learned my lesson when Dr. Budziziweski came to town to give a speech about tolerance (that was actually about not tolerating the murder of babies). Travis will be ready for any question I throw at him; maybe he'll be crass and cut me off, maybe he'll be glib and throw me a non-answer. Either way, I will be the spoiler of everyone else's fun, and it won't make enough of an impact for me to want to sit through whatever boiled tripe he wants to feed me.
I want to be offended, and I want to be outraged. The sneaky, underhanded way that Travis has been marketed to us is an affront to my somewhat-educated sensibilities. Unfortunately, I must choose to be tolerant - the real kind of tolerant, not the Budziziewski-Campus Crusade kind. Once this post is completed, I will bite my tongue and smile at the girls in the quad with a giant I Agree With Travis poster, complete with a hundred or so signatures of Travis-dittoheads, when they ask me if I agree with Travis.
The truth is... I don't. Not one bit. Thanks for asking.
I won't enjoy it much today, due to cold wind and whipping rain, but walking home from school yesterday gave me a chance to crane my neck at the trees lining University Ave., all in varying degrees of yellow and green. It doesn't smell like fall, though. Not just yet.
For the last two weeks, there has been a veritable plethora, an encyclopedia's worth of chalk drawing on every walkable sidewalk on campus. Until Friday, they were all the same: the cryptic message, "Do You Agree With Travis?" Although the buzz on campus was so thick you could swim in it, I knew immediately what was up: the Campus Crusade for Christ had engaged in yet another viral marketing scheme.
They do this every year. Tossing around someone's name, all over campus, on every sidewalk, in every newspaper, for a month leading up to a sermon or speaker sponsored by the Crusade and a few other virulently Christian organizations. They don't say anything about their purpose, or who their sponsor is... all they want to know is the answer to a simple question (that is unanswerable, of course): Do you agree with Travis?
Swami Dusty prognosticates once again: When an auditorium full of people show up to meet this Travis person and figure out if they agree with him or not, the lights will dim. A young, white man will strut on stage, emanating pure confidence and charisma the likes of which have not been seen since Dane Cook was here last spring. Applause and cheering from the crowd will be hushed by Travis's dazzling white smile. "Hello, friends!" he will say. "I have a few questions for you."
"Wouldn't you agree that dorm life is cramped and stinky?" cheers and applause.
"Wouldn't you agree that college is too much work, all at once?" cheers and applause.
"Wouldn't you agree that PeopleSoft is the Devil incarnate?" cheers and applause.
"Wouldn't you agree that murdering babies is a crime, and any mother that murders her unborn baby should get the death penalty?" scattered cheers, some confusion.
"Wouldn't you agree that evolution is just a weak theory invented by weak minds, and we should teach intelligent design in biology classes?" cheers-- wait, what? ...yeah, cheers. more scattered cheers.
"Wouldn't you agree that Christ is our savior, and all those Arabs and Jews and Hindus and whatevers need to SEE THE LIGHT??" MASSIVE cheers and applause.
I want to go to this stupid sermon so that during the Q and A, I can drop some real science on him. Ask him about the constant failure of the Catholic church to own up to the disgusting behavior of a few of its priests, and the even more disgusting coverups perpetrated even now by the bishops and the Vatican to keep pedophiles in the fold. I'd really like to ask him why Kate Moss was castigated by the entire modeling industry when tabloid pictures of her using cocaine appeared all over the world, while Brad Pitt was wrecking his marriage to Jennifer Aniston on the set of his new movie, with his co-star, and the Christians of the world remained silent. I want to ask him about Rev. Pat Robertson's decree that we should start assassinating foreign heads of state. I'd particularly like to ask him what Jesus would say about Rev. Fred Phelps and his congregation's deplorable practice of turning funerals of gay and lesbian people (as well as FALLEN AMERICAN SOLDIERS) into anti-gay protest rallies. I'm not going to do any of that, though. I learned my lesson when Dr. Budziziweski came to town to give a speech about tolerance (that was actually about not tolerating the murder of babies). Travis will be ready for any question I throw at him; maybe he'll be crass and cut me off, maybe he'll be glib and throw me a non-answer. Either way, I will be the spoiler of everyone else's fun, and it won't make enough of an impact for me to want to sit through whatever boiled tripe he wants to feed me.
I want to be offended, and I want to be outraged. The sneaky, underhanded way that Travis has been marketed to us is an affront to my somewhat-educated sensibilities. Unfortunately, I must choose to be tolerant - the real kind of tolerant, not the Budziziewski-Campus Crusade kind. Once this post is completed, I will bite my tongue and smile at the girls in the quad with a giant I Agree With Travis poster, complete with a hundred or so signatures of Travis-dittoheads, when they ask me if I agree with Travis.
The truth is... I don't. Not one bit. Thanks for asking.
October 3, 2005
let her infer what i imply
a handy mnemonic so that you don't go around accidentally inferring things that you meant to imply.
lol.
(/grammarpolice)
"we tight, right?" - in reference to parliamentary party structure, courtesy of dr. paul sum. (yeah, we tight.)
ahem.
I didn't get much done this weekend. Spent all of saturday sick as hell. Got so tired of the vikings getting their arses kicked that i actually fell asleep on the couch. There's a big pile of laundry on my bedroom floor stinking up my room, and all kinds of plastic bottles and paper garbage in my car. Furthermore, my backpack is disorganized, I don't have half the contact information I need to investigate my DS story, and I lost my list of passwords to the computers in the studio -- again. Meanwhile, I have a test in interpersonal communications tomorrow and another in comparative politics on wednesday. about two hundred phone calls to make, and I also need to pick up a couple of shifts this week at pops to alleviate mounting financial tension. I'd be ok, except I am nearly out of coffee.
The reason for the topic line is this article from DrunkenBlog. I'll let you read it yourself, but the gist is that the Next Big Thing will be relative to the human capacity for mindless inference. One does not consider that the law of gravity will pull the water down on top of you when you turn on the shower in the morning; you just turn the knob and get wet. Having to think about what would likely happen whenever you did anything would make life impossible; maybe that's why we get so frustrated and feel like our lives have been irrevocably changed when our cars don't start because it's -300 degrees outside and we still have to go to class. We expect that certain things around us will just work, and work in an intuitive way.
Imagine if your computer could make as many inferences about you as you make about the world. Computers are minimally capable of this - URL autocompletion comes to mind, as does T9 text input. But they are fundamentally weak, reliant on recent inputs/relatively simple mathematical algorithms, and not very intuitive; computers themselves are not intuitive. What, sayeth drunkenbatman, if this were not the case? It presents some very difficult and expensive technical problems, some of which are addressed in the article. I won't go into much detail here, just because I'm pressed for time and I don't want to try and say something that DB says much better.
Swami Dusty will prognosticate, though: how awesome would it be if you could travel from one terminal to another, from home to car to school to work and back, and have all your data follow you securely? What if computers were able to tell who you were without you having to type a million usernames and passwords? Better yet, what if computers could tell what you were doing (writing a paper, blogging, etc.) and could offer tailored services without your having to ask for them?
I think it's possible. I think that data must become much more portable and accessible before anything revolutionary happens in the way we process it; some of the biggest barriers to such a scenario are the hardware and software incompatibility that plagues the desktop PC/mobile/wireless world. If by some freak occurrence (or more likely, series of freak occurrences), interfaces, data formats, storage, and transmission protocols become standardized, there would be a market for some of the pure research needed to develop truly adaptive devices.
Then again, maybe not.
lol.
(/grammarpolice)
"we tight, right?" - in reference to parliamentary party structure, courtesy of dr. paul sum. (yeah, we tight.)
ahem.
I didn't get much done this weekend. Spent all of saturday sick as hell. Got so tired of the vikings getting their arses kicked that i actually fell asleep on the couch. There's a big pile of laundry on my bedroom floor stinking up my room, and all kinds of plastic bottles and paper garbage in my car. Furthermore, my backpack is disorganized, I don't have half the contact information I need to investigate my DS story, and I lost my list of passwords to the computers in the studio -- again. Meanwhile, I have a test in interpersonal communications tomorrow and another in comparative politics on wednesday. about two hundred phone calls to make, and I also need to pick up a couple of shifts this week at pops to alleviate mounting financial tension. I'd be ok, except I am nearly out of coffee.
The reason for the topic line is this article from DrunkenBlog. I'll let you read it yourself, but the gist is that the Next Big Thing will be relative to the human capacity for mindless inference. One does not consider that the law of gravity will pull the water down on top of you when you turn on the shower in the morning; you just turn the knob and get wet. Having to think about what would likely happen whenever you did anything would make life impossible; maybe that's why we get so frustrated and feel like our lives have been irrevocably changed when our cars don't start because it's -300 degrees outside and we still have to go to class. We expect that certain things around us will just work, and work in an intuitive way.
Imagine if your computer could make as many inferences about you as you make about the world. Computers are minimally capable of this - URL autocompletion comes to mind, as does T9 text input. But they are fundamentally weak, reliant on recent inputs/relatively simple mathematical algorithms, and not very intuitive; computers themselves are not intuitive. What, sayeth drunkenbatman, if this were not the case? It presents some very difficult and expensive technical problems, some of which are addressed in the article. I won't go into much detail here, just because I'm pressed for time and I don't want to try and say something that DB says much better.
Swami Dusty will prognosticate, though: how awesome would it be if you could travel from one terminal to another, from home to car to school to work and back, and have all your data follow you securely? What if computers were able to tell who you were without you having to type a million usernames and passwords? Better yet, what if computers could tell what you were doing (writing a paper, blogging, etc.) and could offer tailored services without your having to ask for them?
I think it's possible. I think that data must become much more portable and accessible before anything revolutionary happens in the way we process it; some of the biggest barriers to such a scenario are the hardware and software incompatibility that plagues the desktop PC/mobile/wireless world. If by some freak occurrence (or more likely, series of freak occurrences), interfaces, data formats, storage, and transmission protocols become standardized, there would be a market for some of the pure research needed to develop truly adaptive devices.
Then again, maybe not.
September 26, 2005
TEH PWN
(that would either be a totally awesome vanity plate, or the lamest one ever.)
i got the idea because i totally pwned a russian quiz this morning. it was even more satisfying to hear the mutters and head-scratching from the seats around me as they struggled to come up with (insert cyrillic here).
here's a sample of my writing that i gave to the opinion editor of the dakota student, in hopes that i could be a columnist and have to do less work than if i were a reporter. it obviously didn't work out (they'd already hired too many people to write trite pap), but i thought the sample was decent, and since they didn't/won't publish it, i think i still have the rights to it. so... here you go.
----
There must be somebody, some rich person somewhere, that gets a nickel every time someone mentions responsibility to a college student. We are constantly reminded to drink responsibly, date responsibly, and spend our money responsibly; between that, and digging ourselves out of all the invitations to party, hook up, and get credit cards, we're pretty busy.
I really thought I was starting to catch on, too. Responsibility seemed pretty simple; you own up to things you did, whether they're good or bad, and if they're bad, you try to make things right. I must have gotten something wrong somwhere, though, because my role models are modeling an entirely different version of 'responsibility.'
Take, for example, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. President Bush, amid loud cries that the federal government did next to nothing to help evacuate and rescue the victims of the hurricane, insisted that now is not the time to place blame. This week, the president changed his mind (flip-flopped?) and said, "For any failure of the federal government... I take responsibility." Ah, good, that's better, he's taken responsibility. We can all rest easier, knowing that the changes our great president is making will ensure that this never happens again.
Oh, wait - he didn't change anything. He just said he takes responsibility. That must be good enough, then.
Let's also take, for example, the aftermath of the financial aid fiasco here at UND, caused by none other than faulty software from PeopleSoft. (Did you look at your tuition and fees bill? We're all paying 80 dollars a semester to use PeopleSoft/be used by PeopleSoft.) Students remain without their excess aid, even though UND has already gotten its money; it is only the students with excess aid that are left wanting. The financial aid staff has gotten very good at saying "I'm sorry." As they are learning, though, there is a huge gap between being sorry and making things right.
I am deeply disappointed in the reactions of both the federal government on the Gulf Coast and UND's financial aid department (and their bosses). The disaster in the Southeast is so huge I have no idea what to do first, next, or last. I cannot really help them, although I did send 20 bucks to the Red Cross. I do, however, have some suggestions for how the FA office can maybe soothe some hurt feelings (and hurting pocketbooks).
1) Extend the Financial Aid office hours. At all times of day, the wait to see a receptionist is around 30 minutes. For students who are in class all day and may have problems with their aid checks, it only seems fair to keep a couple of people in the office until 7 or 8 pm.
2) Put a third receptionist in the Financial Aid office, at a temporary desk. Although space may be at a premium, things would move much quicker if there were just one more set of hands and eyes helping the students.
3) Refund the PeopleSoft user fees to the people whose aid checks are two weeks late or later. They've already bent over and taken it once (late rent, late credit card payments, late car payments, no beer); there's no reason they should have to pay to bend over and take it. It might go a little ways toward ensuring that the university doesn't just close their eyes and push the button to start up a massive, massively flawed system that breaks down when it is needed most, taking the pocketbooks of cold/hungry/thirsty students with it.
4) When someone tells a student that (vice president of student affairs) Bob Boyd will personally look into a situation, Bob Boyd should take a minute from his day and personally call the student, even if he was unable to help. That way, it wouldn't look like the student was simply lied to.
What responsibility comes down to is actually trying to fix your screw-ups. We are expected to be responsible, and if we are not, there are plenty of police, STDs, and collection agencies waiting to whip us into shape. There is no direct authority holding UND accountable to its students, or the federal government to the people of the Gulf Coast, but that should not mean that those organizations cannot rise to the occasion and teach us a lesson or two about responsibility. You know, the old-fashioned kind.
i got the idea because i totally pwned a russian quiz this morning. it was even more satisfying to hear the mutters and head-scratching from the seats around me as they struggled to come up with (insert cyrillic here).
here's a sample of my writing that i gave to the opinion editor of the dakota student, in hopes that i could be a columnist and have to do less work than if i were a reporter. it obviously didn't work out (they'd already hired too many people to write trite pap), but i thought the sample was decent, and since they didn't/won't publish it, i think i still have the rights to it. so... here you go.
----
There must be somebody, some rich person somewhere, that gets a nickel every time someone mentions responsibility to a college student. We are constantly reminded to drink responsibly, date responsibly, and spend our money responsibly; between that, and digging ourselves out of all the invitations to party, hook up, and get credit cards, we're pretty busy.
I really thought I was starting to catch on, too. Responsibility seemed pretty simple; you own up to things you did, whether they're good or bad, and if they're bad, you try to make things right. I must have gotten something wrong somwhere, though, because my role models are modeling an entirely different version of 'responsibility.'
Take, for example, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. President Bush, amid loud cries that the federal government did next to nothing to help evacuate and rescue the victims of the hurricane, insisted that now is not the time to place blame. This week, the president changed his mind (flip-flopped?) and said, "For any failure of the federal government... I take responsibility." Ah, good, that's better, he's taken responsibility. We can all rest easier, knowing that the changes our great president is making will ensure that this never happens again.
Oh, wait - he didn't change anything. He just said he takes responsibility. That must be good enough, then.
Let's also take, for example, the aftermath of the financial aid fiasco here at UND, caused by none other than faulty software from PeopleSoft. (Did you look at your tuition and fees bill? We're all paying 80 dollars a semester to use PeopleSoft/be used by PeopleSoft.) Students remain without their excess aid, even though UND has already gotten its money; it is only the students with excess aid that are left wanting. The financial aid staff has gotten very good at saying "I'm sorry." As they are learning, though, there is a huge gap between being sorry and making things right.
I am deeply disappointed in the reactions of both the federal government on the Gulf Coast and UND's financial aid department (and their bosses). The disaster in the Southeast is so huge I have no idea what to do first, next, or last. I cannot really help them, although I did send 20 bucks to the Red Cross. I do, however, have some suggestions for how the FA office can maybe soothe some hurt feelings (and hurting pocketbooks).
1) Extend the Financial Aid office hours. At all times of day, the wait to see a receptionist is around 30 minutes. For students who are in class all day and may have problems with their aid checks, it only seems fair to keep a couple of people in the office until 7 or 8 pm.
2) Put a third receptionist in the Financial Aid office, at a temporary desk. Although space may be at a premium, things would move much quicker if there were just one more set of hands and eyes helping the students.
3) Refund the PeopleSoft user fees to the people whose aid checks are two weeks late or later. They've already bent over and taken it once (late rent, late credit card payments, late car payments, no beer); there's no reason they should have to pay to bend over and take it. It might go a little ways toward ensuring that the university doesn't just close their eyes and push the button to start up a massive, massively flawed system that breaks down when it is needed most, taking the pocketbooks of cold/hungry/thirsty students with it.
4) When someone tells a student that (vice president of student affairs) Bob Boyd will personally look into a situation, Bob Boyd should take a minute from his day and personally call the student, even if he was unable to help. That way, it wouldn't look like the student was simply lied to.
What responsibility comes down to is actually trying to fix your screw-ups. We are expected to be responsible, and if we are not, there are plenty of police, STDs, and collection agencies waiting to whip us into shape. There is no direct authority holding UND accountable to its students, or the federal government to the people of the Gulf Coast, but that should not mean that those organizations cannot rise to the occasion and teach us a lesson or two about responsibility. You know, the old-fashioned kind.
September 23, 2005
shiny shiny
I no longer work for the chemistry department. Being a lab-equipment gofer is one or two degrees of magnitude below my skill set, the pay sucked, and I was bored.
So instead I fell ass-backwards into a job in the art department, maintaining/upgrading/protecting a lab full of Apple G5s. There are few things more beautiful to me than 17 Apple Cinema Displays, all lined up on the lab tables. While installing and removing various applications yesterday, I found myself frequently stopping to stroke the edges of the displays. I remain in disbelief over their incredible design and beauty.
I also set a new personal (and group-of-close-friends) record on the disc golf course last week: -14. It turns out I have excellent skills when there's no wind; the next day, we shot a round in a strong breeze and I finished at par. The inconsistency frightens me, for when Derek and I play, we (of course) play for skins.
I needed some new music to groove to while playing poker, so I picked up My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. This album reminds me a bit of Taking Back Sunday's Where You Want to Be, only with a little less screaming and a little more stylistic variety... in other words, it's pretty sweet. Also got the new Franz Ferdinand... at first listen, there were no tracks that had the instant-love, crack-addiction quality of Take Me Out, but all the tracks are good, whereas the first album had some big hits and some even bigger misses.
Tests next week in western civ, russian, algebra, and the week following (I think) in communications and comparative politics. Fun, fun. It's definitely starting to feel like fall... school is getting serious, and the weather is turning cooler (38 degrees on my way to school yesterday, and 50 at 10:30 this morning).
I'm writing a story for the Dakota Student about a German-American friendship organization called Atlantic-Brücke. An official from AB participated in a young leadership conference in Bismarck a couple of weeks ago, and was struck by the plight of refugees fleeing the great flattened Gulf Coast. Two phone calls and two days later, German companies had committed $150,000 in aid money for victims of HK. (not hong kong) A few more phone calls, and there is $50,000 waiting in a checking account at the Bank of North Dakota, with more available if needed. Now, there is a small delegation of German and American officials traveling around North Dakota, offering aid to refugees who chose to came all the way up to the great (soon-to-be) frozen north. Anything these people need that is not being provided by federal or state aid agencies, AB is taking care of. Due to our deserved reputation as a six-month icebox, though, and with winter coming soon, there are only about 30 families in all of ND that are eligible for assistance.
What blows me away is the juxtaposition of German efficiency with American clumsiness. Our president is on vacation, and the guy in charge of natural disasters for our whole country doesn't hear about the craziness in New Orleans affecting millions of people for three days. A week later, relief efforts are underway. Meanwhile, someone who isn't even affiliated with the German government makes a phone call, gets a phone call, and in two days has eliminated all intervening red tape and is ready to help people halfway across the world.
Thanks, Germany! (don't forget to read the Dakota Student on Tuesday.)
So instead I fell ass-backwards into a job in the art department, maintaining/upgrading/protecting a lab full of Apple G5s. There are few things more beautiful to me than 17 Apple Cinema Displays, all lined up on the lab tables. While installing and removing various applications yesterday, I found myself frequently stopping to stroke the edges of the displays. I remain in disbelief over their incredible design and beauty.
I also set a new personal (and group-of-close-friends) record on the disc golf course last week: -14. It turns out I have excellent skills when there's no wind; the next day, we shot a round in a strong breeze and I finished at par. The inconsistency frightens me, for when Derek and I play, we (of course) play for skins.
I needed some new music to groove to while playing poker, so I picked up My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. This album reminds me a bit of Taking Back Sunday's Where You Want to Be, only with a little less screaming and a little more stylistic variety... in other words, it's pretty sweet. Also got the new Franz Ferdinand... at first listen, there were no tracks that had the instant-love, crack-addiction quality of Take Me Out, but all the tracks are good, whereas the first album had some big hits and some even bigger misses.
Tests next week in western civ, russian, algebra, and the week following (I think) in communications and comparative politics. Fun, fun. It's definitely starting to feel like fall... school is getting serious, and the weather is turning cooler (38 degrees on my way to school yesterday, and 50 at 10:30 this morning).
I'm writing a story for the Dakota Student about a German-American friendship organization called Atlantic-Brücke. An official from AB participated in a young leadership conference in Bismarck a couple of weeks ago, and was struck by the plight of refugees fleeing the great flattened Gulf Coast. Two phone calls and two days later, German companies had committed $150,000 in aid money for victims of HK. (not hong kong) A few more phone calls, and there is $50,000 waiting in a checking account at the Bank of North Dakota, with more available if needed. Now, there is a small delegation of German and American officials traveling around North Dakota, offering aid to refugees who chose to came all the way up to the great (soon-to-be) frozen north. Anything these people need that is not being provided by federal or state aid agencies, AB is taking care of. Due to our deserved reputation as a six-month icebox, though, and with winter coming soon, there are only about 30 families in all of ND that are eligible for assistance.
What blows me away is the juxtaposition of German efficiency with American clumsiness. Our president is on vacation, and the guy in charge of natural disasters for our whole country doesn't hear about the craziness in New Orleans affecting millions of people for three days. A week later, relief efforts are underway. Meanwhile, someone who isn't even affiliated with the German government makes a phone call, gets a phone call, and in two days has eliminated all intervening red tape and is ready to help people halfway across the world.
Thanks, Germany! (don't forget to read the Dakota Student on Tuesday.)
September 20, 2005
first do no harm
"So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
first do no harm
"So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
first do no harm
"So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
September 16, 2005
i like toys.
lots of speculation so far about what the Nintendo Revolution will be like.
Finally, something other than a rumor.
it seems that all those people that pull their controllers in different directions, hoping to gain an extra inch of forward/planar motion from their onscreen avatars, will soon get their wish.
Finally, something other than a rumor.
it seems that all those people that pull their controllers in different directions, hoping to gain an extra inch of forward/planar motion from their onscreen avatars, will soon get their wish.
September 15, 2005
technically unsupported
At least UND hasn't done this.
I had to wait in line for another half an hour to get a work-study certification card today. I feel even worse for the people whose excess aid STILL hasn't come and that have gotten a total run-around by UND with no responsibility taken... other than people saying "it's our fault." well, brilliant, you little genius, you. so what are you going to DO about it? if UND doesn't get its money right away, they withhold your registration, grades, transcript, all that stuff. they'll even ship you off to collections and kick you out of school until you pay your stupid bill. but now that the shoe is on the other foot and it's kids in apartments that can't pay rent, or make car payments, or buy food, or even beer and cigarettes.... well, we can't hold anything back from UND, and we certainly can't take them to collection agencies. "Sorry. We're working on it... we even submitted a help ticket to PeopleSoft!! Sorry."
However, for the time being, I'm pretty sure that my personal information is safe. And even if it's not, I have shitty grades and shitty credit.
I had to wait in line for another half an hour to get a work-study certification card today. I feel even worse for the people whose excess aid STILL hasn't come and that have gotten a total run-around by UND with no responsibility taken... other than people saying "it's our fault." well, brilliant, you little genius, you. so what are you going to DO about it? if UND doesn't get its money right away, they withhold your registration, grades, transcript, all that stuff. they'll even ship you off to collections and kick you out of school until you pay your stupid bill. but now that the shoe is on the other foot and it's kids in apartments that can't pay rent, or make car payments, or buy food, or even beer and cigarettes.... well, we can't hold anything back from UND, and we certainly can't take them to collection agencies. "Sorry. We're working on it... we even submitted a help ticket to PeopleSoft!! Sorry."
However, for the time being, I'm pretty sure that my personal information is safe. And even if it's not, I have shitty grades and shitty credit.
September 10, 2005
you can do it!!
all i want for christmas
but better than that...
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to ...
Progressive!
but better than that...
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to ...
Progressive!
September 9, 2005
our schools need more intelligent design
sweet. (NY Times article, free registration required.)
and while we're on the topic, let me just register my disbelief that any of our kids would be taught that god made the world in a science class. It has nothing to do with hating religion or separation of church and state or anything like that. As I understand it, science is the commonly-accepted technique for observing and interpreting events, and something about hypothesis-testing.
Observing, seeking, or interpreting the existence of a creator is not an observable or testable event. One can hypothesize, and one can examine libraries full of circumstantial evidence, but one cannot ever verifiably say "God created (this/us/everything), and this is how I know that." On the other hand, one can easily say, "I know how much gravity is pulling on this object," because gravity is a clearly-defined, measurable value.
I would prefer that my children (and everyone else's, too, for they will be a large part of my life over the next 50 years) use their science class to learn science; the measurable, quantifiable values of our universe and the relationships between them. Questions of metaphysics like intelligent design should be discussed - we would be remiss if such a large part of Western European and American history were to go ignored - but it must remain a study in culture, in history, and in the philosophical meaning of life.
yay for brains.
and while we're on the topic, let me just register my disbelief that any of our kids would be taught that god made the world in a science class. It has nothing to do with hating religion or separation of church and state or anything like that. As I understand it, science is the commonly-accepted technique for observing and interpreting events, and something about hypothesis-testing.
Observing, seeking, or interpreting the existence of a creator is not an observable or testable event. One can hypothesize, and one can examine libraries full of circumstantial evidence, but one cannot ever verifiably say "God created (this/us/everything), and this is how I know that." On the other hand, one can easily say, "I know how much gravity is pulling on this object," because gravity is a clearly-defined, measurable value.
I would prefer that my children (and everyone else's, too, for they will be a large part of my life over the next 50 years) use their science class to learn science; the measurable, quantifiable values of our universe and the relationships between them. Questions of metaphysics like intelligent design should be discussed - we would be remiss if such a large part of Western European and American history were to go ignored - but it must remain a study in culture, in history, and in the philosophical meaning of life.
yay for brains.
September 7, 2005
labor dabor
Labor Day was a total disappointment. Not a terrible, horrible, you're-going-to-jail sort of day, but every little bit of excitement I felt was squashed later by failure and defeat.
Example: Derek and I wanted to go to lunch, and after two rounds of frisbee golf, we were seeking many, many calories with which to fuel our respective bodies. Alas, it was too late in the day for pizza buffet, and Derek doesn't like americanized-chinese-buffet. Struck by the brilliant idea to go to Joe DiMaggio's, an underappreciated sports bar downtown, we hightailed it in anticipation of burger goodness, with maybe a Twins game to entertain us during lulls in the conversation (you know, lest we start talking like an old married couple). Upon our arrival, we discover that Joe's is closed for Labor Day. WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT CLOSES ON LABOR DAY??!!! (Derek's answer: the kind that is always empty during the day anyhow.)
Example: Derek and I are probably the two best Dr. Mario players in the world. I am only speaking with a little bit of hyperbole; if there were a world championship of obscure puzzle games, and Dr. Mario was among them, Derek and I would be serious contenders. That afternoon, we were consumed with the desire to play Dr. Mario. It was not as simple as just going home, putting the cartridge in the N64, and going at it; no, that would be out of sync with the Labor Day vibe. First, we had to re-acquire my Nintendo 64 from Peter, to whom I had loaned it a year or two ago (I don't really remember, but it was a long time).
After a few minutes of searching, it was reasonably clear that Peter had lost my nintendo. (lesson: DO NOT LEND PETER ANYTHING.) Finding another N64 was easy; there are used ones all over town. Finding Dr. Mario is difficult; apparently, everyone that owns it wants to keep it. Not a single copy of this sweet, sweet game was to be found anywhere in town. Disgrace, defeat, disappointment... stupid labor day.
So that's why Labor Day sucks.
Example: Derek and I wanted to go to lunch, and after two rounds of frisbee golf, we were seeking many, many calories with which to fuel our respective bodies. Alas, it was too late in the day for pizza buffet, and Derek doesn't like americanized-chinese-buffet. Struck by the brilliant idea to go to Joe DiMaggio's, an underappreciated sports bar downtown, we hightailed it in anticipation of burger goodness, with maybe a Twins game to entertain us during lulls in the conversation (you know, lest we start talking like an old married couple). Upon our arrival, we discover that Joe's is closed for Labor Day. WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT CLOSES ON LABOR DAY??!!! (Derek's answer: the kind that is always empty during the day anyhow.)
Example: Derek and I are probably the two best Dr. Mario players in the world. I am only speaking with a little bit of hyperbole; if there were a world championship of obscure puzzle games, and Dr. Mario was among them, Derek and I would be serious contenders. That afternoon, we were consumed with the desire to play Dr. Mario. It was not as simple as just going home, putting the cartridge in the N64, and going at it; no, that would be out of sync with the Labor Day vibe. First, we had to re-acquire my Nintendo 64 from Peter, to whom I had loaned it a year or two ago (I don't really remember, but it was a long time).
After a few minutes of searching, it was reasonably clear that Peter had lost my nintendo. (lesson: DO NOT LEND PETER ANYTHING.) Finding another N64 was easy; there are used ones all over town. Finding Dr. Mario is difficult; apparently, everyone that owns it wants to keep it. Not a single copy of this sweet, sweet game was to be found anywhere in town. Disgrace, defeat, disappointment... stupid labor day.
So that's why Labor Day sucks.
September 5, 2005
schadenfreude
I feel like I've used that title before, but it seems that I have not. It's a german word that, like many other german words, encapsulates an idea. Schadenfreude is the feeling of joy at someone else's expense, or more mildly, the happiness that comes when you think "thank God that didn't happen to me." Either one is good.
Here's an example: Some good news for us broke suckers, and also welcome bad news for the oil speculators screwing us. (now that's schadenfreude.)
Lots of frisbee golf in the last couple of days; Derek and I shot 54 consecutive holes on Saturday. (I finished at -9, -9, and -8.) Heading out again as soon as I finish my blog/coffee, although the wind may thwart us before three rounds today.
Excellent week in poker; after taking a break for a month or so after a relentless string of bad beats, I decided to dip my toe back in the water. Playing only $11 single- and two-table tournaments (and Saturday night's $22 10k guaranteed, in which I flamed out), I'm up about $250 this week. I plan on riding my heater as far as it will take me.
I played a $5 live game with some kids I know on Friday night, and if I had known that the 'Phil' that was joining the game was who he was, I would never have played. I don't want to drop his last name, because he's the kind of guy that would Google himself frequently (if he were smart enough, which I seriously doubt), but we'll just say that this kid is not just a tool, not just a toolbox... not even a tool shed. He is the Tool Crib of the North. He immediately established himself as the chip leader when he knocked four players out of the game, and played a punishing, loose aggressive game for the remainder of the night. I clung to my shrinking stack until there were four of us left, whereupon I doubled through Phil twice and took him down in our third showdown. (MAXIMUM schadenfreude.) Finding myself in the final two, I should have offered to chop, for I was getting tired and my mind was already elsewhere. Alas, I took second place when I called the other guy's all-in and he drew a higher pair than mine.
A sportswriter for the Star Tribune just called out Brad Radke, widely considered to be one of the Twins' best pitchers (of which there are many), on Minnesota Public Radio. Apparently Johan Santana has pitched 8 wins when the combined score was 5 or less and the Twins won by a single run. (3-2, 2-1, 1-0). Radke has pitched 1, and has been heard complaining about how the hitting staff won't/can't hit for him. Howard's line: "Quit your bitchin' and just start pitchin'."
Here's an example: Some good news for us broke suckers, and also welcome bad news for the oil speculators screwing us. (now that's schadenfreude.)
Lots of frisbee golf in the last couple of days; Derek and I shot 54 consecutive holes on Saturday. (I finished at -9, -9, and -8.) Heading out again as soon as I finish my blog/coffee, although the wind may thwart us before three rounds today.
Excellent week in poker; after taking a break for a month or so after a relentless string of bad beats, I decided to dip my toe back in the water. Playing only $11 single- and two-table tournaments (and Saturday night's $22 10k guaranteed, in which I flamed out), I'm up about $250 this week. I plan on riding my heater as far as it will take me.
I played a $5 live game with some kids I know on Friday night, and if I had known that the 'Phil' that was joining the game was who he was, I would never have played. I don't want to drop his last name, because he's the kind of guy that would Google himself frequently (if he were smart enough, which I seriously doubt), but we'll just say that this kid is not just a tool, not just a toolbox... not even a tool shed. He is the Tool Crib of the North. He immediately established himself as the chip leader when he knocked four players out of the game, and played a punishing, loose aggressive game for the remainder of the night. I clung to my shrinking stack until there were four of us left, whereupon I doubled through Phil twice and took him down in our third showdown. (MAXIMUM schadenfreude.) Finding myself in the final two, I should have offered to chop, for I was getting tired and my mind was already elsewhere. Alas, I took second place when I called the other guy's all-in and he drew a higher pair than mine.
A sportswriter for the Star Tribune just called out Brad Radke, widely considered to be one of the Twins' best pitchers (of which there are many), on Minnesota Public Radio. Apparently Johan Santana has pitched 8 wins when the combined score was 5 or less and the Twins won by a single run. (3-2, 2-1, 1-0). Radke has pitched 1, and has been heard complaining about how the hitting staff won't/can't hit for him. Howard's line: "Quit your bitchin' and just start pitchin'."
August 29, 2005
rock you like a hurricane (edited 8/31)
for those that don't know, my good friend kevin finds himself in new orleans... just as hurricane katrina is about to unleash a category-4 hellstorm upon the Big Easy. if i believed in God, I'd be praying for you, buddy. Hope you made it to higher ground - I hear the levees in n'awlins don't have floodgates.
in other news, happy birthday to paul metzger. the big 2-5. that's the same age that fry is in the second season of futurama. (why do I know that??)
also, happy birthday to my now-20-year-old landlord, travis webb. it's amazing what you can learn about a guy after you've been up for 16 hours, drinking. isn't 20 the most worthless birthday? now there's no excuse for your immature, amateur hijinks, and you're still not old enough to buy your own whiskey.
also, here's an interesting story about the possible health benefits of coffee... which, incidentally, makes me feel much better about my one-pot-a-day habit. if only I could stop shaking long enough to pour this cup, I'd be even less likely to get cancer.
Last week was the first week of school. Although you'd never know it by seeing the staggeringly long lines at the parking office (haha, suckers), first-day UND enrollment came in at 12,415, with a higher-than-expected number of new freshmen. That's what I love about freshmen... I keep getting older, and they keep stayin' the same age.... hahaha...
My initial experience with UND was with the new PeopleSoft software, an enormous clusterfuck of a program that is meant to replace ALFI while adding new functionality for students, teachers, and employees of the U. In reality, it is not nearly robust enough, and despite its name, is not people-friendly or very soft. Some clever graffiti artists going by the name of Partisans Supporting the Return of ALFI (or something to that effect) had tagged the blackboard in my Russian class on Tuesday; I say good for them. Best of luck to UND with this hideous monster, and btw, thanks for CHARGING ME 80 BUCKS THIS SEMESTER TO BE STUCK WITH IT.
My first class that fateful Tuesday was History 102: Western Civilization Since 1500, taught by a Dr. Iseminger. Iseminger, of course, is German for "cantankerous, bitter old man." Although he has a wide-ranging grasp of the subject matter (having been alive since approximately 1500), and he is also a well-informed listener to Minnesota Public Radio, I must say I do not approve of his distaste for GPS or iPods, nor his assignment of 55 pages of reading due by the second class period, with an accompanying essay quiz that day.
UND is not generally known for getting things right (Ralph Engelstad arena, hockey tickets, parking, PeopleSoft, parking ticket quotas, the nickname, etc.). One thing I must commend them on is the HUGE improvement to the food court since the last time I attended my fair school. The last time I lunched at the Student Union, I was invariably met with incredibly long lines for the Subway and 10 to 15 minute waits for pizza at Little Caesar's. There was never a line for the TCBY/JuiceWorks, but that's because 3.50 for a drink that contains no coffee (but does contain bee pollen, if you care for it) is ridiculous, and also not lunch. Combine the tremendous service bottleneck with poorly trained staff that completely turned over perhaps twice a week, and your lunch hour was a disaster unless you went someplace else.
Now, there are modern-looking metal gates that swing silently into food heaven. I'm not talking about the place where food goes when you puke it up... I'm talking about a pleasant, well-furnished place to sample the wide variety of cuisine that is now offered instead of poorly-made sandwiches or mediocre pizza. You can still get sandwiches or pizza, but instead of Subway, it's a sandwich bar that is slightly better quality, with fresher-looking ingredients, more variety, and COMPETENT, FRIENDLY STAFF courtesy of UND Dining Services. Instead of Little Caesar's, it's a fully-functional Sbarro, with giant pizza slices, giant whole pizzas, and a variety of pasta dishes that I have not tasted, but are most likely delicious.
That's not all. There is also an honest-to-god A&W, with draft root beer behind the counter. That is so awesome I don't even know what to say (although sadly, they don't have malt vinegar for the fries. I think that would be a great selling point for Canadian high-school students interested in playing hockey here... get your little taste of home! besides, i like fries and vinegar). Not really feeling the pizza, subs, or burgers? Then stop by the asian food bar, where they will fry up your choice of vegetables with your choice of meat and asian-flavored sauce (not made with real asians, or so they say) into a delightful mixture of crunchy, meaty goodness. Or, if you want tacos, hit the taco/burrito bar, where you have another decision tree full of choices. If that still doesn't make you happy, then there are a couple of coolers full of salads and pre-made sandwiches, bagels and brownies, milk and cookies, overpriced juice drinks and bottled water... i think by now you get the point.
All this selection would be worthless if you had to wait 20 minutes to get your food, for that was the biggest problem with the old food court to begin with. Luckily, this is not the case. At 12:00 noon on the first (busiest) day of school, I spent maybe five minutes from beginning to end of the food-selection experience. The large variety has the effect of dispersing the crowd of people among the various lunch options, and the more adventurous foods have little to no line at all. You pay for everything at the end, right before you sit down, and they even take Visa/MC, along with the old standbys of cash, check, and Dining Dollars. Everyone is skilled enough to operate their register without having to call someone else over, they are courteous and friendly, and the whole experience is completely painless. There are also enough places to sit - alone, at 12:05, I was able to choose from a number of empty seats in the remodeled area behind the food line, and also leading out into the Union itself. Combine this with a variety of daily specials guaranteeing you lunch and a beverage for about 5 bucks, and you've got a winner.
I am very excited about the food court.
I am much less excited about my algebra class, which is so un-memorable that I don't even remember my instructor's name. I don't care about that, though, because I suspect that she will not be teaching me much algebra. Although a graduate student, and probably much better at math than I will ever be, I suspect she is either my age or a year younger, and has never taught a class in her life. Her mumble-and-stumble routine through the difference between adding and multiplying exponents kept my eyes glued to the clock for the entire 50 minutes. If only she'd tell us when the quizzes were, I'd know exactly when and when not to go to class.
I won't even tell you about the intense, excruciating shame of German class, save for the instructor did a reasonably good job of preparing a 2-hour class after discovering that she had to teach it three hours before it started.
Russian was just as I remembered it - very difficult. The class, though, is much more engaged than the last time I took it, and there is nothing worse than a foreign language class that drags its ass when asked to do call-and-response exercises with the prof. That, and the fact that I have taken this exact class once before, I think bodes well for me.
I showed up late to my Communication and the Human Community class, and learned two things: one, my instructor was in a Brazilian sandal commercial, and two, he may or may not show us a film with topless women in it. I think he basically guaranteed that all the guys would show up for class every day... a brilliant move, and one that I will remember if I ever teach.
I am also taking Pols 220: Comparative Politics. It's a lucky thing, for I have a well-trained, well-read, knowledgable professor who is introduced at faculty functions as "the international politics guy" for an instructor. For every situation in the book or lecture, he has an anecdote about politics at some random little country around the globe. Aside from his propensity to laugh at his own jokes, I thoroughly enjoy his lectures so far, and hope he continues a promising trend.
I took a work-study job in the Chemistry lab. I enjoy working with chemicals, and the large room filled floor-to-ceiling with those little brown reagent bottles filled me with wonder (and memories of qual, way back in high school). During my semester or year or two years or whatever that I work there, I also hope to acquire a beaker or Erlenmeyer flask or two that I may use as a coffee cup - a dream I have held since elementary school, deep in the recesses of my mind, waiting to awaken when the opportunity presents itself. (Another thing I wished I had when I was a small boy: a pair of Roos tennis shoes, you know, those shoes with little snap pockets on the sides. Luckily, they're back in style, and I will finally get my shoes.) Of course, since there are no labs the first week of school, I was charged with the task of giving two labs a sponge bath, cleaning the pencil marks from the counters and the splatter residue from under the vent hoods. Hardly exciting, and despite the plastic gloves, the cut I had acquired the previous night at work itched and burned by the time I was done.
There you have it: everything I've done for the past week. I left out the parts where i was delivering pizza, because aside from the part where i discovered that Popolino's has hot wing sauce, but it is for the pizza and not for the hot wings, it's not very interesting. Delicious, but not interesting.
parting shot: mc chris ownz. i wanna go to an mc chris show. but he doesn't.... .... ahh, fuck it.
in other news, happy birthday to paul metzger. the big 2-5. that's the same age that fry is in the second season of futurama. (why do I know that??)
also, happy birthday to my now-20-year-old landlord, travis webb. it's amazing what you can learn about a guy after you've been up for 16 hours, drinking. isn't 20 the most worthless birthday? now there's no excuse for your immature, amateur hijinks, and you're still not old enough to buy your own whiskey.
also, here's an interesting story about the possible health benefits of coffee... which, incidentally, makes me feel much better about my one-pot-a-day habit. if only I could stop shaking long enough to pour this cup, I'd be even less likely to get cancer.
Last week was the first week of school. Although you'd never know it by seeing the staggeringly long lines at the parking office (haha, suckers), first-day UND enrollment came in at 12,415, with a higher-than-expected number of new freshmen. That's what I love about freshmen... I keep getting older, and they keep stayin' the same age.... hahaha...
My initial experience with UND was with the new PeopleSoft software, an enormous clusterfuck of a program that is meant to replace ALFI while adding new functionality for students, teachers, and employees of the U. In reality, it is not nearly robust enough, and despite its name, is not people-friendly or very soft. Some clever graffiti artists going by the name of Partisans Supporting the Return of ALFI (or something to that effect) had tagged the blackboard in my Russian class on Tuesday; I say good for them. Best of luck to UND with this hideous monster, and btw, thanks for CHARGING ME 80 BUCKS THIS SEMESTER TO BE STUCK WITH IT.
My first class that fateful Tuesday was History 102: Western Civilization Since 1500, taught by a Dr. Iseminger. Iseminger, of course, is German for "cantankerous, bitter old man." Although he has a wide-ranging grasp of the subject matter (having been alive since approximately 1500), and he is also a well-informed listener to Minnesota Public Radio, I must say I do not approve of his distaste for GPS or iPods, nor his assignment of 55 pages of reading due by the second class period, with an accompanying essay quiz that day.
UND is not generally known for getting things right (Ralph Engelstad arena, hockey tickets, parking, PeopleSoft, parking ticket quotas, the nickname, etc.). One thing I must commend them on is the HUGE improvement to the food court since the last time I attended my fair school. The last time I lunched at the Student Union, I was invariably met with incredibly long lines for the Subway and 10 to 15 minute waits for pizza at Little Caesar's. There was never a line for the TCBY/JuiceWorks, but that's because 3.50 for a drink that contains no coffee (but does contain bee pollen, if you care for it) is ridiculous, and also not lunch. Combine the tremendous service bottleneck with poorly trained staff that completely turned over perhaps twice a week, and your lunch hour was a disaster unless you went someplace else.
Now, there are modern-looking metal gates that swing silently into food heaven. I'm not talking about the place where food goes when you puke it up... I'm talking about a pleasant, well-furnished place to sample the wide variety of cuisine that is now offered instead of poorly-made sandwiches or mediocre pizza. You can still get sandwiches or pizza, but instead of Subway, it's a sandwich bar that is slightly better quality, with fresher-looking ingredients, more variety, and COMPETENT, FRIENDLY STAFF courtesy of UND Dining Services. Instead of Little Caesar's, it's a fully-functional Sbarro, with giant pizza slices, giant whole pizzas, and a variety of pasta dishes that I have not tasted, but are most likely delicious.
That's not all. There is also an honest-to-god A&W, with draft root beer behind the counter. That is so awesome I don't even know what to say (although sadly, they don't have malt vinegar for the fries. I think that would be a great selling point for Canadian high-school students interested in playing hockey here... get your little taste of home! besides, i like fries and vinegar). Not really feeling the pizza, subs, or burgers? Then stop by the asian food bar, where they will fry up your choice of vegetables with your choice of meat and asian-flavored sauce (not made with real asians, or so they say) into a delightful mixture of crunchy, meaty goodness. Or, if you want tacos, hit the taco/burrito bar, where you have another decision tree full of choices. If that still doesn't make you happy, then there are a couple of coolers full of salads and pre-made sandwiches, bagels and brownies, milk and cookies, overpriced juice drinks and bottled water... i think by now you get the point.
All this selection would be worthless if you had to wait 20 minutes to get your food, for that was the biggest problem with the old food court to begin with. Luckily, this is not the case. At 12:00 noon on the first (busiest) day of school, I spent maybe five minutes from beginning to end of the food-selection experience. The large variety has the effect of dispersing the crowd of people among the various lunch options, and the more adventurous foods have little to no line at all. You pay for everything at the end, right before you sit down, and they even take Visa/MC, along with the old standbys of cash, check, and Dining Dollars. Everyone is skilled enough to operate their register without having to call someone else over, they are courteous and friendly, and the whole experience is completely painless. There are also enough places to sit - alone, at 12:05, I was able to choose from a number of empty seats in the remodeled area behind the food line, and also leading out into the Union itself. Combine this with a variety of daily specials guaranteeing you lunch and a beverage for about 5 bucks, and you've got a winner.
I am very excited about the food court.
I am much less excited about my algebra class, which is so un-memorable that I don't even remember my instructor's name. I don't care about that, though, because I suspect that she will not be teaching me much algebra. Although a graduate student, and probably much better at math than I will ever be, I suspect she is either my age or a year younger, and has never taught a class in her life. Her mumble-and-stumble routine through the difference between adding and multiplying exponents kept my eyes glued to the clock for the entire 50 minutes. If only she'd tell us when the quizzes were, I'd know exactly when and when not to go to class.
I won't even tell you about the intense, excruciating shame of German class, save for the instructor did a reasonably good job of preparing a 2-hour class after discovering that she had to teach it three hours before it started.
Russian was just as I remembered it - very difficult. The class, though, is much more engaged than the last time I took it, and there is nothing worse than a foreign language class that drags its ass when asked to do call-and-response exercises with the prof. That, and the fact that I have taken this exact class once before, I think bodes well for me.
I showed up late to my Communication and the Human Community class, and learned two things: one, my instructor was in a Brazilian sandal commercial, and two, he may or may not show us a film with topless women in it. I think he basically guaranteed that all the guys would show up for class every day... a brilliant move, and one that I will remember if I ever teach.
I am also taking Pols 220: Comparative Politics. It's a lucky thing, for I have a well-trained, well-read, knowledgable professor who is introduced at faculty functions as "the international politics guy" for an instructor. For every situation in the book or lecture, he has an anecdote about politics at some random little country around the globe. Aside from his propensity to laugh at his own jokes, I thoroughly enjoy his lectures so far, and hope he continues a promising trend.
I took a work-study job in the Chemistry lab. I enjoy working with chemicals, and the large room filled floor-to-ceiling with those little brown reagent bottles filled me with wonder (and memories of qual, way back in high school). During my semester or year or two years or whatever that I work there, I also hope to acquire a beaker or Erlenmeyer flask or two that I may use as a coffee cup - a dream I have held since elementary school, deep in the recesses of my mind, waiting to awaken when the opportunity presents itself. (Another thing I wished I had when I was a small boy: a pair of Roos tennis shoes, you know, those shoes with little snap pockets on the sides. Luckily, they're back in style, and I will finally get my shoes.) Of course, since there are no labs the first week of school, I was charged with the task of giving two labs a sponge bath, cleaning the pencil marks from the counters and the splatter residue from under the vent hoods. Hardly exciting, and despite the plastic gloves, the cut I had acquired the previous night at work itched and burned by the time I was done.
There you have it: everything I've done for the past week. I left out the parts where i was delivering pizza, because aside from the part where i discovered that Popolino's has hot wing sauce, but it is for the pizza and not for the hot wings, it's not very interesting. Delicious, but not interesting.
parting shot: mc chris ownz. i wanna go to an mc chris show. but he doesn't.... .... ahh, fuck it.
August 21, 2005
August 17, 2005
jumped the shark
i dodged a massive bullet in rehab group tonight.
without breaking confidentiality, I can say that I somehow managed to avoid a massive, prison-sized bullet this evening.
having done that, i am grateful for every single thing, good or bad, that has happened to me since my release. i just want everyone to know that every minute i've spent outside of the care of the north dakota department of corrections and rehabilitation has been uniformly & categorically better than every minute that i've ever spent in it.
in other news...
1 props go to kevin for helping me to popularize the word "recoculous." splash, bro ^_^
2 school starts in one week. it's about time.
3 cindy sheehan is a great american under attack by the right-wing spin machine.
4 if i could, i would have bob costas's children. his interview on "larry king live" with conan o'brien was side-splitting.
5 we should say "harvest our craps," anyways, because "craps" is a funny word.
thank you and good night. morning. whatev'.
without breaking confidentiality, I can say that I somehow managed to avoid a massive, prison-sized bullet this evening.
having done that, i am grateful for every single thing, good or bad, that has happened to me since my release. i just want everyone to know that every minute i've spent outside of the care of the north dakota department of corrections and rehabilitation has been uniformly & categorically better than every minute that i've ever spent in it.
in other news...
1 props go to kevin for helping me to popularize the word "recoculous." splash, bro ^_^
2 school starts in one week. it's about time.
3 cindy sheehan is a great american under attack by the right-wing spin machine.
4 if i could, i would have bob costas's children. his interview on "larry king live" with conan o'brien was side-splitting.
5 we should say "harvest our craps," anyways, because "craps" is a funny word.
thank you and good night. morning. whatev'.
August 15, 2005
i just thought up the funniest joke
q) what do you call someone who expertly displays pornography about the house?
a) a master masterbator baiter.
lol.
a) a master masterbator baiter.
lol.
August 7, 2005
pot committed
This article furthers the point that the U.S. is wasting its time fighting a war on potheads, the biggest time-wasters of all. Also briefly discusses the ups and downs of bringing things through tunnels.
Man, I wish I was Canadian.
Man, I wish I was Canadian.
no, it's not a banana
Surprise, surprise...
This link confirms what 'they' say about men with big feet. No, it's got nothing to do with buying shoes....
(for the record, my shoes are *ahem* size 14. Do the math. ^_^)
This link confirms what 'they' say about men with big feet. No, it's got nothing to do with buying shoes....
(for the record, my shoes are *ahem* size 14. Do the math. ^_^)
August 6, 2005
confessions
1. Reading DrunkenBlog, it sounds like lots of people are unhappy with Tiger.2. I must confess, I have not run across any of the bugs that these people speak of, mostly because my computer is simply too slow to really hammer the OS... I don't even bother trying to use QuickSilver or Spotlight or any intense apps. Maybe if I wasn't beholden to the Dock, I wouldn't like it so much. (Stockholm syndrome?)
2. I'm listening to Portishead right now. I haven't listened to Portishead in a couple of years, aside from maybe a random drunken-DJ moment that I don't remember. They're not bad.
3. I love this website. It has inspired me to give Symbyax another (maybe not another, since this will be the first) chance.
4. It is now 4:30 am, and I am so manic that when I leave the computer, I am going to go clean the garage.
5. (s)Tony Lafferty's birthday was yesterday. Awesome party, until the police came. It's cool when they show up and I don't have to run away.
6. I should be playing the late-night freeroll on PartyPoker, but I got so wrapped up practicing piano that I missed the registration time that I had been waiting two hours for.
7. I am enamored with the muscles in my forearm. They move my fingers.
That is all.
2. I'm listening to Portishead right now. I haven't listened to Portishead in a couple of years, aside from maybe a random drunken-DJ moment that I don't remember. They're not bad.
3. I love this website. It has inspired me to give Symbyax another (maybe not another, since this will be the first) chance.
4. It is now 4:30 am, and I am so manic that when I leave the computer, I am going to go clean the garage.
5. (s)Tony Lafferty's birthday was yesterday. Awesome party, until the police came. It's cool when they show up and I don't have to run away.
6. I should be playing the late-night freeroll on PartyPoker, but I got so wrapped up practicing piano that I missed the registration time that I had been waiting two hours for.
7. I am enamored with the muscles in my forearm. They move my fingers.
That is all.
August 5, 2005
ganbatte kudasai
sorry to make you all think that this was going to be some sort of current-events blog that dropped serious science on everyone that reads it. no, there's too many other blogs out there like that, and they do a better job.
mostly, i'm just sick of reading bad news that gets worse and worse.
to sum up what would have otherwise been many long, long articles:
we have the worst president (and by extension, the worst administration) that America has ever had.
President Bush, his subordinates, the Republican party, and the heads of major global corporations have managed to turn a surplus of wealth, good will, and promise into a deficit of money, trust, faith, and American values. They have stolen every good thing about America and turned it into yellow magnets on the back of SUVs, all calling out for us to "Support Our Troops!"
The aforementioned parties lied to us so they could start a war.
The aforementioned parties got together and wrote an energy policy that gave more money than any of us will ever see to oil companies that are seeing record profits.
The aforementioned parties refuse to fight a war on methamphetamines, and instead choose to fight a war on marijuana.
The aforementioned parties do not believe that women have a right to choose what happens in their own bodies.
The aforementioned parties want to know what library books you're reading.
The aforementioned parties outed a CIA agent to get back at someone who disagreed with them, and, now that they're about to get caught, are lying about it.
The aforementioned parties are using the media to lie to you, even now.
Meanwhile, the President is on vacation...again.
President Bush is the worst President ever. He is not your friend. He does not care about you.
He only cares about taking care of his father's friends in the energy industry, the same friends that gave him second chance after second chance until he finally found someone that could protect him and used him to acquire the highest office in the land.
I can barely read about this stuff without getting massively depressed. In fact, I recently started taking medication for depression that is royally fucking with my head and my whole circadian rhythm. So, instead of continuing to punish myself, I will simply quit writing (and, to an extent, reading) about stuff that is so depressing that I have to pay sticker price for medication. (Because, of course, I have no health insurance, and President Bush refuses to do anything about me and the millions of Americans like me.)
Within the next 20 years, we are going to see a depression that the history books will remember forever.
Thanks, President Bush! Have a nice day.
mostly, i'm just sick of reading bad news that gets worse and worse.
to sum up what would have otherwise been many long, long articles:
we have the worst president (and by extension, the worst administration) that America has ever had.
President Bush, his subordinates, the Republican party, and the heads of major global corporations have managed to turn a surplus of wealth, good will, and promise into a deficit of money, trust, faith, and American values. They have stolen every good thing about America and turned it into yellow magnets on the back of SUVs, all calling out for us to "Support Our Troops!"
The aforementioned parties lied to us so they could start a war.
The aforementioned parties got together and wrote an energy policy that gave more money than any of us will ever see to oil companies that are seeing record profits.
The aforementioned parties refuse to fight a war on methamphetamines, and instead choose to fight a war on marijuana.
The aforementioned parties do not believe that women have a right to choose what happens in their own bodies.
The aforementioned parties want to know what library books you're reading.
The aforementioned parties outed a CIA agent to get back at someone who disagreed with them, and, now that they're about to get caught, are lying about it.
The aforementioned parties are using the media to lie to you, even now.
Meanwhile, the President is on vacation...again.
President Bush is the worst President ever. He is not your friend. He does not care about you.
He only cares about taking care of his father's friends in the energy industry, the same friends that gave him second chance after second chance until he finally found someone that could protect him and used him to acquire the highest office in the land.
I can barely read about this stuff without getting massively depressed. In fact, I recently started taking medication for depression that is royally fucking with my head and my whole circadian rhythm. So, instead of continuing to punish myself, I will simply quit writing (and, to an extent, reading) about stuff that is so depressing that I have to pay sticker price for medication. (Because, of course, I have no health insurance, and President Bush refuses to do anything about me and the millions of Americans like me.)
Within the next 20 years, we are going to see a depression that the history books will remember forever.
Thanks, President Bush! Have a nice day.
July 30, 2005
the island
I've been too busy/too lazy to post lately. At present, I'm working on a story related to the fact that John Hoeven is the governor with the highest approval rating in all 50 states. Believe it or not, North Dakota does not usually make the news, so this is turning out to be more difficult than I'd thought.
On the dusty front... one of my roommates moved out, and Derek will be moving in to take his place. I just took a job delivering for Popolino's Pizza, which I think is the best local pizza value. It'll be nice to have some money coming in besides the stressful ups and downs of internet poker, and I hear that it's a laid-back, chilled-out place to work. Just my style. I also rearranged the furniture in my room a bit - roommate Adam just switched his room around, and it instilled in me feelings of longing. He said something about how it's good to change your space around once or twice a year, just to keep things fresh. I tried to consider principles of room feng shui as I was moving, but really the only thing I could do was move my bed away from the door. (It's considered bad for your energy if there's a direct line from your bed to your door. Something about qi (energy) slipping out of your room while you sleep. We'll see.)
Symbyax makes me very, very sleepy. I slept for 12 hours last night and still needed a nap.
Next story will post today or tomorrow. I promise.
On the dusty front... one of my roommates moved out, and Derek will be moving in to take his place. I just took a job delivering for Popolino's Pizza, which I think is the best local pizza value. It'll be nice to have some money coming in besides the stressful ups and downs of internet poker, and I hear that it's a laid-back, chilled-out place to work. Just my style. I also rearranged the furniture in my room a bit - roommate Adam just switched his room around, and it instilled in me feelings of longing. He said something about how it's good to change your space around once or twice a year, just to keep things fresh. I tried to consider principles of room feng shui as I was moving, but really the only thing I could do was move my bed away from the door. (It's considered bad for your energy if there's a direct line from your bed to your door. Something about qi (energy) slipping out of your room while you sleep. We'll see.)
Symbyax makes me very, very sleepy. I slept for 12 hours last night and still needed a nap.
Next story will post today or tomorrow. I promise.
July 18, 2005
gonna make $20 before the weekend's over
flipping through some photos tonight...
saw the two pix of myself in the ocean. they represent happiness, contentment. cheerful abandon.
when i look at them, i see myself, and i can't remember another time that i've been so awesome.
these two pictures, although technically imperfect and bereft of context, are tremendously important to me.
i think that i shall never lose them.
saw the two pix of myself in the ocean. they represent happiness, contentment. cheerful abandon.
when i look at them, i see myself, and i can't remember another time that i've been so awesome.
these two pictures, although technically imperfect and bereft of context, are tremendously important to me.
i think that i shall never lose them.
July 17, 2005
the chosen one
This weekend has been devoured by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. At 672 pages, I could not read it in one afternoon, and not even two. No, instead the past three days have been devoted to the adventures of the Boy who Lived.
New story tomorrow. In the meantime, go to the fair or play outside or something - enjoy the fabulous weather while it lasts. ^_^
All the best,
dusty
New story tomorrow. In the meantime, go to the fair or play outside or something - enjoy the fabulous weather while it lasts. ^_^
All the best,
dusty
July 14, 2005
it hasn't started
***
(Before today's article, a couple of things:
1: This article is as much for my benefit as it is yours. By researching and writing it, I get a firm grasp of the facts involved with this OTHER very serious issue facing American politics today. Not an easy thing to do...especially considering the armies of breathless lefties demanding impeachment that are currently butting heads with the armies of right-wing bloggers and pundits who insist that anyone who would denigrate our President is gay. Hopefully you're a little better informed by the end, but at the end of the day, I do this so that I sound smarter at parties.
2: Whoever is leaving me text messages with no Caller ID or personal information attached... either identify yourself or stop it. I'm frustrated because I cannot reply to you, and you probably think I'm a jerk for ignoring you, when really I have no idea who you are or how to contact you and tell you "whats up." Oh, and if you're reading this, the answer is "nothin much, you?"
That is all. Grab some coffee or a cup of tea and enjoy today's story... it's pretty long, but the end makes it worthwhile.)
***
If you've been paying attention, you've known for a while that Karl Rove, the president's deputy chief of staff and all-star political mastermind, is in some hot water. If you haven't.... well, he is. There are two big deals about this story, which has been getting a lot of traction over the last couple of days. One is that Rove, widely considered to be the brains behind Bush's four election victories (two for Texas governor, two for Prez), has been brought before a grand jury investigating the exposure of an undercover CIA agent's identity. He may be criminally liable for exposing this person, whose name is Valerie Plame. Two is that when this whole situation first touched down, the President, through his beleaguered mouthpiece Scott McClellan, said that anybody who was involved with outing a CIA agent would be fired.
Last Monday, all of this became very interesting. That, however, is the final page of a story that begins in 2002.
Joe Wilson is a career diplomat with an impressive resume. He was the last U.S. official ever to meet with Saddam Hussein, he was the ambassador to Gabon and Sao Tome/Principe under the first George Bush (what a sweet job!), and sat on the National Security Council during the Clinton administration, helping to create policy toward Africa.
Wilson wrote an editorial for the New York Times, published July 6, 2003. From said article:
"In February 2002, I was informed by officials at the Central Intelligence Agency that Vice President Dick Cheney's office had questions about a particular intelligence report. While I never saw the report, I was told that it referred to a memorandum of agreement that documented the sale of uranium yellowcake — a form of lightly processed ore — by Niger to Iraq in the late 1990's. The agency officials asked if I would travel to Niger to check out the story so they could provide a response to the vice president's office.
"...After consulting with the State Department's African Affairs Bureau (and through it with Barbro Owens-Kirkpatrick, the United States ambassador to Niger), I agreed to make the trip. The mission I undertook was discreet but by no means secret. While the C.I.A. paid my expenses (my time was offered pro bono), I made it abundantly clear to everyone I met that I was acting on behalf of the United States government.
"I spent the next eight days drinking sweet mint tea and meeting with dozens of people: current government officials, former government officials, people associated with the country's uranium business. It did not take long to conclude that it was highly doubtful that any such transaction had ever taken place.
"Given the structure of the consortiums that operated the mines, it would be exceedingly difficult for Niger to transfer uranium to Iraq. Niger's uranium business consists of two mines, Somair and Cominak, which are run by French, Spanish, Japanese, German and Nigerian interests. If the government wanted to remove uranium from a mine, it would have to notify the consortium, which in turn is strictly monitored by the International Atomic Energy Agency. Moreover, because the two mines are closely regulated, quasi-governmental entities, selling uranium would require the approval of the minister of mines, the prime minister and probably the president. In short, there's simply too much oversight over too small an industry for a sale to have transpired.
"Though I did not file a written report, there should be at least four documents in United States government archives confirming my mission. The documents should include the ambassador's report of my debriefing in Niamey, a separate report written by the embassy staff, a C.I.A. report summing up my trip, and a specific answer from the agency to the office of the vice president (this may have been delivered orally). While I have not seen any of these reports, I have spent enough time in government to know that this is standard operating procedure."
Wilson writes that his statement, that Niger most likely did not transfer nuclear material to Iraq, only confirmed what most analysts already thought. This, of course, was not what the Bush administration wanted to hear. Relying on dubious information from a year-old British report, the State of the Union address contained language about how "Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantites of uranium from Africa."
Paragraph one of the Wilson editorial makes it clear how he feels about this situation. He effectively called out the Bush administration, accusing them of manipulating intelligence. (It turns out that's exactly what they were doing.) The White House has a long and documented history of firing, smearing, or otherwise retaliating against people who say things it doesn't want anybody to hear. So, what did they do when Joe Wilson blew the whistle on the biggest lie of all?
Robert Novak wrote in the Chicago Sun-Times about the Wilson editorial:
"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction. Two senior administration officials told me Wilson's wife suggested sending him to Niger to investigate."
What Novak (and a whole slew of other people) supposedly didn't know is that Valerie Plame was under cover, working for a front company that maintained a network of contacts with the hope that the CIA would know if weapons of mass destruction started changing hands in parts of the world. So, when this article went to print, Plame's cover was blown, and the company she was working for was exposed as a front for the CIA.
That's pretty serious business. Plame was fighting the war on terror: she was literally working to prevent the spread of weapons of mass destruction. Her career was suddenly derailed, and her husband got the message: don't mess with the White House. After the Novak story, Wilson went on television for a few days and denounced whoever leaked the information to Novak (and, as it turns out, a couple of other reporters, too). He even mentioned the name Karl Rove, fingering him as a possible ultimate source for this information. Pundits and political junkies laughed to themselves, thinking of the other instances where Rove has been suspected (but never definitively caught) of leaking information. Little did we know....
Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald issued subpoenas to Judith Miller, a reporter for the New York Times, and Matt Cooper, a reporter for TIME Magazine, in connection to the Valerie Plame leak investigation. Whoever leaked the information about Plame to Robert Novak, it seemed, also contacted Miller and Cooper. Miller never wrote a related story, but Cooper did, and it wasn't pretty, suggesting (in the words of prosecutor Fitzgerald) ... "that the conduct of the officials involved an attack on an administration critic, not whistle-blowing." Miller refused to cooperate, saying that her source wished to be anonymous, and that she would not reveal his name. She was subsequently jailed for contempt of court, and will be released either when she reveals the name of her source like the subpoena wants, or when the grand jury's investigation is complete.
Cooper initially refused to cooperate as well, also saying that his source wished to remain anonymous. TIME Inc., days before Cooper was to be thrown in jail, agreed to release the content of an e-mail Cooper sent to his bureau chief regarding who told him what he knew about the leak. On July 6th 2005, Cooper agreed to testify before the grand jury, saying he had heard from his source that it was okay with him if Cooper cooperated with the grand jury.
From ThinkProgress.org:
According to the Newsweek story today, at 11:07 on a Friday morning, July 11, 2003 Time magazine correspondent Matt Cooper sent the following e-mail to his bureau chief, Michael Duffy:
“Subject: Rove/P&C,” (for personal and confidential)
“Spoke to Rove on double super secret background for about two mins before he went on vacation…” “please don’t source this to rove or even WH [White House]”
“it was, KR said, wilson’s wife, who apparently works at the agency on wmd [weapons of mass destruction] issues who authorized the trip.”
The email continues with warnings about how Joe Wilson is not to be believed, supposedly because his wife authorized this cushy vacation/intelligence mission to the well-known tropical vacation paradise of... Niger.
So, Karl Rove called members of the media and told them, on double-super-secret background, that "wilson's wife" (Plame), who "works at the agency on wmd issues," "authorized the trip." Hell of a thing to say, since it doesn't really prove anything about Wilson other than that his wife is a CIA agent. Oops.
Rove went on the record in 2003 denying that he told anybody anything, and then slightly changed his tone, denying that he told any reporter Valerie Plame's name. Scott McClellan, White House press secretary, went on the record in 2003 as saying that Rove specifically had nothing to do with the leak. President Bush went on the record in 2003 as saying that he would fire anybody in his administration that would do such a treasonous thing.
Once word got out that Rove was the leak, the White House sang a different tune altogether. Here are excerpts from White House press events:
(July 11, 2003)
QUESTION: The Robert Novak column last week . . . has now given rise to accusations that the administration deliberatively blew the cover of an undercover CIA operative, and in so doing, violated a federal law that prohibits revealing the identity of undercover CIA operatives. Can you respond to that?
McCLELLAN: Thank you for bringing that up. That is not the way this President or this White House operates. And there is absolutely no information that has come to my attention or that I have seen that suggests that there is any truth to that suggestion. And, certainly, no one in this White House would have given authority to take such a step.
(September 29, 2003)
QUESTION: Has the President either asked Karl Rove to assure him that he had nothing to do with this; or did Karl Rove go to the President to assure him that he . . .
McCLELLAN: I don't think he needs that. I think I've spoken clearly to this publicly . . . I've just said there's no truth to it.
QUESTION: Yes, but I'm just wondering if there was a conversation between Karl Rove and the President, or if he just talked to you, and you're here at this . . .
McCLELLAN: He wasn't involved. The President knows he wasn't involved.
QUESTION: How does he know that?
McCLELLAN: The President knows.
(September 30, 2003, press conference with President Bush)
QUESTION: Yesterday we were told that Karl Rove had no role in it. . .
THE PRESIDENT: Yes.
QUESTION: Have you talked to Karl and do you have confidence in him . . .
THE PRESIDENT: Listen, I know of nobody -- I don't know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action.
Now, we fast-forward to July 11th of this year, when it has become very clear that yes, Rove was involved, and moreso, he was the culprit. If I were McClellan, after taking a beating like this, I would have gone home early, stopping on the way only for a handle of Jim Beam and a bag of ice, and maybe a glass to put them in.
(July 11, 2005)
Q Do you stand by your statement from the fall of 2003 when you were asked specifically about Karl and Elliott Abrams and Scooter Libby, and you said, "I've gone to each of those gentlemen, and they have told me they are not involved in this" -- do you stand by that statement?
MR. McCLELLAN: And if you will recall, I said that as part of helping the investigators move forward on the investigation we're not going to get into commenting on it. That was something I stated back near that time, as well.
Q Scott, I mean, just -- I mean, this is ridiculous. The notion that you're going to stand before us after having commented with that level of detail and tell people watching this that somehow you decided not to talk. You've got a public record out there. Do you stand by your remarks from that podium, or not?
MR. McCLELLAN: And again, David, I'm well aware, like you, of what was previously said, and I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is when the investigation --
Q Why are you choosing when it's appropriate and when it's inappropriate?
MR. McCLELLAN: If you'll let me finish --
Q No, you're not finishing -- you're not saying anything. You stood at that podium and said that Karl Rove was not involved. And now we find out that he spoke out about Joseph Wilson's wife. So don't you owe the American public a fuller explanation? Was he involved, or was he not? Because, contrary to what you told the American people, he did, indeed, talk about his wife, didn't he?
MR. McCLELLAN: David, there will be a time to talk about this, but now is not the time to talk about it.
Q Do you think people will accept that, what you're saying today?
MR. McCLELLAN: Again, I've responded to the question.
Go ahead, Terry.
Q Well, you're in a bad spot here, Scott, because after the investigation began, after the criminal investigation was underway, you said -- October 10th, 2003, "I spoke with those individuals, Rove, Abrams and Libby, as I pointed out, those individuals assured me they were not involved in this." From that podium. That's after the criminal investigation began. Now that Rove has essentially been caught red-handed peddling this information, all of a sudden you have respect for the sanctity of the criminal investigation?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, that's not a correct characterization Terry, and I think you are well aware of that. We know each other very well, and it was after that period that the investigators had requested that we not get into commenting on an ongoing criminal investigation. And we want to be helpful so that they can get to the bottom of this, because no one wants to get to the bottom of it more than the President of the United States. I am well aware of what was said previously. I remember well what was said previously. And at some point, I look forward to talking about it. But until the investigation is complete, I'm just not going to do that.
And, finally, we come to yesterday's press briefing, where the White House press corps has finally decided that after five years of obfuscation, dodgery, and stonewalling, they would like an answer to some questions they are burning to ask:
(July 13, 2005)
Q Scott, some White House advisors expressed surprise that the President did not give a warm endorsement to Karl Rove when he was asked about him at the Cabinet meeting. They had expected that he would speak up. Can you explain why the President didn't express confidence?
McCLELLAN: Sure. He wasn't asked about his support or confidence for Karl. As I indicated yesterday, every person who works here at the White House, including Karl Rove, has the confidence of the President. This was not a question that came up in the Cabinet Room.
Q Well, the President has never been restrained at staying right in the lines of a question, as you know. (Laughter.) He kind of -- he says whatever he wants. And if he had wanted to express confidence in Karl Rove, he could have. Why didn't he?
McCLELLAN: He expressed it yesterday through me, and I just expressed it again….
Q Scott, you know what, to make a general observation here, in a previous administration, if a press secretary had given the sort of answers you've just given in referring to the fact that everybody who works here enjoys the confidence of the President, Republicans would have hammered them as having a kind of legalistic and sleazy defense. I mean, the reality is that you're parsing words, and you've been doing it for a few days now. So does the President think Karl Rove did something wrong, or doesn't he?
McCLELLAN: No, David, I'm not at all. I told you and the President told you earlier today that we don't want to prejudge the outcome of an ongoing investigation. And I think we've been round and round on this for two days now.
Q Even if it wasn't a crime? You know, there are those who believe that even if Karl Rove was trying to debunk bogus information, as Ken Mehlman suggested yesterday -- perhaps speaking on behalf of the White House -- that when you're dealing with a covert operative, that a senior official of the government should be darn well sure that that person is not undercover, is not covert, before speaking about them in any way, shape, or form. Does the President agree with that or not?
McCLELLAN: Again, we've been round and round on this for a couple of days now. I don't have anything to add to what I've said the previous two days.
Q That's a different question, and it's not round and round --
McCLELLAN: You heard from the President earlier.
Q It has nothing to do with the investigation, Scott, and you know it.
McCLELLAN: You heard from the President earlier today, and the President said he's not --
Q That's a dodge to my question. It has nothing to do with the investigation. Is it appropriate for a senior official to speak about a covert agent in any way, shape, or form without first finding out whether that person is working as a covert officer.
McCLELLAN: Well, first of all, you're wrong. This is all relating to questions about an ongoing investigation, and I've been through this.
Q If I wanted to ask you about an ongoing investigation, I would ask you about the statute, and I'm not doing that.
McCLELLAN: I think we've exhausted discussion on this the last couple of days.
Q You haven't even scratched the surface.
Q (someone else) It hasn't started.
Q (yet another person) Can I ask for clarification on what the President said at Sea Island on June 10th of last year, when he was saying that he would fire anybody from the White House who was involved in the leak of classified information? What were the parameters for those consequences?
McCLELLAN: Again, I've nothing to add on this discussion, and if we have any other topics you want to discuss, I'll be glad to do that.
Q I'm going to go to another question, somewhat on the same subject, but a different vein. Let's talk about the Wilson family. Is there any regret from this White House about the effects of this leak on this family?
McCLELLAN: We can continue to go round and round on all these --
Q No, no, no, no. This has nothing to do with the investigation. This is about the leak and the effects on this family. I mean, granted there are partisan politics being played, but let's talk about the leak that came from the White House that affected a family.
McCLELLAN: And let me just say again that anything relating to an ongoing investigation, I'm not going to get into discussing. I've said that the past couple of days.
Q Scott, from Africa, Mrs. Bush says, Karl Rove is a very good friend of mine; I've known him for years. And she's not going to speculate on any other part of the case. Well, does the President feel the same way about Karl Rove, the relationship with Karl Rove, a very good friend for many years?
McCLELLAN: Yes, he does.
Q And at this point, is it ebbing or flowing? Is that relationship with the President ebbing or flowing? (Laughter.)
McCLELLAN: Again, this is a creative way to come out to the same kind of questions.
Q You're right, it is, and I want an answer.
If you've made it this far, congratulations. You've just read a story that took me three hours to put together, and you've also witnessed the first lie the Bush administration has ever been caught in -- that the media simply will not let go. I'd wager that today's press conference will be even less pleasant. That pretty much sums up all the facts in the case so far. Since July 6th, there has been a tremendous amount of double-talk, spin, character assassination, and other skulduggery perpetrated against the media, Joe Wilson, and the Democratic party by the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Minnesota senator Norm Coleman, New York congressman Peter King, Karl Rove's lawyer, and pretty much everyone at Fox News. If I tried to dissect all of that, you would be reading this up until the moment I posted tomorrow's story, so I'll just leave it alone and provide some concise linkage to what the GOP is saying and what the progressives have to say in return:
Talking Points for Treason
Talking Points for Treason, Part II
The White House press corps is right. We haven't even scratched the surface, and this hasn't even started yet.
(Before today's article, a couple of things:
1: This article is as much for my benefit as it is yours. By researching and writing it, I get a firm grasp of the facts involved with this OTHER very serious issue facing American politics today. Not an easy thing to do...especially considering the armies of breathless lefties demanding impeachment that are currently butting heads with the armies of right-wing bloggers and pundits who insist that anyone who would denigrate our President is gay. Hopefully you're a little better informed by the end, but at the end of the day, I do this so that I sound smarter at parties.
2: Whoever is leaving me text messages with no Caller ID or personal information attached... either identify yourself or stop it. I'm frustrated because I cannot reply to you, and you probably think I'm a jerk for ignoring you, when really I have no idea who you are or how to contact you and tell you "whats up." Oh, and if you're reading this, the answer is "nothin much, you?"
That is all. Grab some coffee or a cup of tea and enjoy today's story... it's pretty long, but the end makes it worthwhile.)
***
If you've been paying attention, you've known for a while that Karl Rove, the president's deputy chief of staff and all-star political mastermind, is in some hot water. If you haven't.... well, he is. There are two big deals about this story, which has been getting a lot of traction over the last couple of days. One is that Rove, widely considered to be the brains behind Bush's four election victories (two for Texas governor, two for Prez), has been brought before a grand jury investigating the exposure of an undercover CIA agent's identity. He may be criminally liable for exposing this person, whose name is Valerie Plame. Two is that when this whole situation first touched down, the President, through his beleaguered mouthpiece Scott McClellan, said that anybody who was involved with outing a CIA agent would be fired.
Last Monday, all of this became very interesting. That, however, is the final page of a story that begins in 2002.
Joe Wilson is a career diplomat with an impressive resume. He was the last U.S. official ever to meet with Saddam Hussein, he was the ambassador to Gabon and Sao Tome/Principe under the first George Bush (what a sweet job!), and sat on the National Security Council during the Clinton administration, helping to create policy toward Africa.
Wilson wrote an editorial for the New York Times, published July 6, 2003. From said article:
"In February 2002, I was informed by officials at the Central Intelligence Agency that Vice President Dick Cheney's office had questions about a particular intelligence report. While I never saw the report, I was told that it referred to a memorandum of agreement that documented the sale of uranium yellowcake — a form of lightly processed ore — by Niger to Iraq in the late 1990's. The agency officials asked if I would travel to Niger to check out the story so they could provide a response to the vice president's office.
"...After consulting with the State Department's African Affairs Bureau (and through it with Barbro Owens-Kirkpatrick, the United States ambassador to Niger), I agreed to make the trip. The mission I undertook was discreet but by no means secret. While the C.I.A. paid my expenses (my time was offered pro bono), I made it abundantly clear to everyone I met that I was acting on behalf of the United States government.
"I spent the next eight days drinking sweet mint tea and meeting with dozens of people: current government officials, former government officials, people associated with the country's uranium business. It did not take long to conclude that it was highly doubtful that any such transaction had ever taken place.
"Given the structure of the consortiums that operated the mines, it would be exceedingly difficult for Niger to transfer uranium to Iraq. Niger's uranium business consists of two mines, Somair and Cominak, which are run by French, Spanish, Japanese, German and Nigerian interests. If the government wanted to remove uranium from a mine, it would have to notify the consortium, which in turn is strictly monitored by the International Atomic Energy Agency. Moreover, because the two mines are closely regulated, quasi-governmental entities, selling uranium would require the approval of the minister of mines, the prime minister and probably the president. In short, there's simply too much oversight over too small an industry for a sale to have transpired.
"Though I did not file a written report, there should be at least four documents in United States government archives confirming my mission. The documents should include the ambassador's report of my debriefing in Niamey, a separate report written by the embassy staff, a C.I.A. report summing up my trip, and a specific answer from the agency to the office of the vice president (this may have been delivered orally). While I have not seen any of these reports, I have spent enough time in government to know that this is standard operating procedure."
Wilson writes that his statement, that Niger most likely did not transfer nuclear material to Iraq, only confirmed what most analysts already thought. This, of course, was not what the Bush administration wanted to hear. Relying on dubious information from a year-old British report, the State of the Union address contained language about how "Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantites of uranium from Africa."
Paragraph one of the Wilson editorial makes it clear how he feels about this situation. He effectively called out the Bush administration, accusing them of manipulating intelligence. (It turns out that's exactly what they were doing.) The White House has a long and documented history of firing, smearing, or otherwise retaliating against people who say things it doesn't want anybody to hear. So, what did they do when Joe Wilson blew the whistle on the biggest lie of all?
Robert Novak wrote in the Chicago Sun-Times about the Wilson editorial:
"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction. Two senior administration officials told me Wilson's wife suggested sending him to Niger to investigate."
What Novak (and a whole slew of other people) supposedly didn't know is that Valerie Plame was under cover, working for a front company that maintained a network of contacts with the hope that the CIA would know if weapons of mass destruction started changing hands in parts of the world. So, when this article went to print, Plame's cover was blown, and the company she was working for was exposed as a front for the CIA.
That's pretty serious business. Plame was fighting the war on terror: she was literally working to prevent the spread of weapons of mass destruction. Her career was suddenly derailed, and her husband got the message: don't mess with the White House. After the Novak story, Wilson went on television for a few days and denounced whoever leaked the information to Novak (and, as it turns out, a couple of other reporters, too). He even mentioned the name Karl Rove, fingering him as a possible ultimate source for this information. Pundits and political junkies laughed to themselves, thinking of the other instances where Rove has been suspected (but never definitively caught) of leaking information. Little did we know....
Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald issued subpoenas to Judith Miller, a reporter for the New York Times, and Matt Cooper, a reporter for TIME Magazine, in connection to the Valerie Plame leak investigation. Whoever leaked the information about Plame to Robert Novak, it seemed, also contacted Miller and Cooper. Miller never wrote a related story, but Cooper did, and it wasn't pretty, suggesting (in the words of prosecutor Fitzgerald) ... "that the conduct of the officials involved an attack on an administration critic, not whistle-blowing." Miller refused to cooperate, saying that her source wished to be anonymous, and that she would not reveal his name. She was subsequently jailed for contempt of court, and will be released either when she reveals the name of her source like the subpoena wants, or when the grand jury's investigation is complete.
Cooper initially refused to cooperate as well, also saying that his source wished to remain anonymous. TIME Inc., days before Cooper was to be thrown in jail, agreed to release the content of an e-mail Cooper sent to his bureau chief regarding who told him what he knew about the leak. On July 6th 2005, Cooper agreed to testify before the grand jury, saying he had heard from his source that it was okay with him if Cooper cooperated with the grand jury.
From ThinkProgress.org:
According to the Newsweek story today, at 11:07 on a Friday morning, July 11, 2003 Time magazine correspondent Matt Cooper sent the following e-mail to his bureau chief, Michael Duffy:
“Subject: Rove/P&C,” (for personal and confidential)
“Spoke to Rove on double super secret background for about two mins before he went on vacation…” “please don’t source this to rove or even WH [White House]”
“it was, KR said, wilson’s wife, who apparently works at the agency on wmd [weapons of mass destruction] issues who authorized the trip.”
The email continues with warnings about how Joe Wilson is not to be believed, supposedly because his wife authorized this cushy vacation/intelligence mission to the well-known tropical vacation paradise of... Niger.
So, Karl Rove called members of the media and told them, on double-super-secret background, that "wilson's wife" (Plame), who "works at the agency on wmd issues," "authorized the trip." Hell of a thing to say, since it doesn't really prove anything about Wilson other than that his wife is a CIA agent. Oops.
Rove went on the record in 2003 denying that he told anybody anything, and then slightly changed his tone, denying that he told any reporter Valerie Plame's name. Scott McClellan, White House press secretary, went on the record in 2003 as saying that Rove specifically had nothing to do with the leak. President Bush went on the record in 2003 as saying that he would fire anybody in his administration that would do such a treasonous thing.
Once word got out that Rove was the leak, the White House sang a different tune altogether. Here are excerpts from White House press events:
(July 11, 2003)
QUESTION: The Robert Novak column last week . . . has now given rise to accusations that the administration deliberatively blew the cover of an undercover CIA operative, and in so doing, violated a federal law that prohibits revealing the identity of undercover CIA operatives. Can you respond to that?
McCLELLAN: Thank you for bringing that up. That is not the way this President or this White House operates. And there is absolutely no information that has come to my attention or that I have seen that suggests that there is any truth to that suggestion. And, certainly, no one in this White House would have given authority to take such a step.
(September 29, 2003)
QUESTION: Has the President either asked Karl Rove to assure him that he had nothing to do with this; or did Karl Rove go to the President to assure him that he . . .
McCLELLAN: I don't think he needs that. I think I've spoken clearly to this publicly . . . I've just said there's no truth to it.
QUESTION: Yes, but I'm just wondering if there was a conversation between Karl Rove and the President, or if he just talked to you, and you're here at this . . .
McCLELLAN: He wasn't involved. The President knows he wasn't involved.
QUESTION: How does he know that?
McCLELLAN: The President knows.
(September 30, 2003, press conference with President Bush)
QUESTION: Yesterday we were told that Karl Rove had no role in it. . .
THE PRESIDENT: Yes.
QUESTION: Have you talked to Karl and do you have confidence in him . . .
THE PRESIDENT: Listen, I know of nobody -- I don't know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action.
Now, we fast-forward to July 11th of this year, when it has become very clear that yes, Rove was involved, and moreso, he was the culprit. If I were McClellan, after taking a beating like this, I would have gone home early, stopping on the way only for a handle of Jim Beam and a bag of ice, and maybe a glass to put them in.
(July 11, 2005)
Q Do you stand by your statement from the fall of 2003 when you were asked specifically about Karl and Elliott Abrams and Scooter Libby, and you said, "I've gone to each of those gentlemen, and they have told me they are not involved in this" -- do you stand by that statement?
MR. McCLELLAN: And if you will recall, I said that as part of helping the investigators move forward on the investigation we're not going to get into commenting on it. That was something I stated back near that time, as well.
Q Scott, I mean, just -- I mean, this is ridiculous. The notion that you're going to stand before us after having commented with that level of detail and tell people watching this that somehow you decided not to talk. You've got a public record out there. Do you stand by your remarks from that podium, or not?
MR. McCLELLAN: And again, David, I'm well aware, like you, of what was previously said, and I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is when the investigation --
Q Why are you choosing when it's appropriate and when it's inappropriate?
MR. McCLELLAN: If you'll let me finish --
Q No, you're not finishing -- you're not saying anything. You stood at that podium and said that Karl Rove was not involved. And now we find out that he spoke out about Joseph Wilson's wife. So don't you owe the American public a fuller explanation? Was he involved, or was he not? Because, contrary to what you told the American people, he did, indeed, talk about his wife, didn't he?
MR. McCLELLAN: David, there will be a time to talk about this, but now is not the time to talk about it.
Q Do you think people will accept that, what you're saying today?
MR. McCLELLAN: Again, I've responded to the question.
Go ahead, Terry.
Q Well, you're in a bad spot here, Scott, because after the investigation began, after the criminal investigation was underway, you said -- October 10th, 2003, "I spoke with those individuals, Rove, Abrams and Libby, as I pointed out, those individuals assured me they were not involved in this." From that podium. That's after the criminal investigation began. Now that Rove has essentially been caught red-handed peddling this information, all of a sudden you have respect for the sanctity of the criminal investigation?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, that's not a correct characterization Terry, and I think you are well aware of that. We know each other very well, and it was after that period that the investigators had requested that we not get into commenting on an ongoing criminal investigation. And we want to be helpful so that they can get to the bottom of this, because no one wants to get to the bottom of it more than the President of the United States. I am well aware of what was said previously. I remember well what was said previously. And at some point, I look forward to talking about it. But until the investigation is complete, I'm just not going to do that.
And, finally, we come to yesterday's press briefing, where the White House press corps has finally decided that after five years of obfuscation, dodgery, and stonewalling, they would like an answer to some questions they are burning to ask:
(July 13, 2005)
Q Scott, some White House advisors expressed surprise that the President did not give a warm endorsement to Karl Rove when he was asked about him at the Cabinet meeting. They had expected that he would speak up. Can you explain why the President didn't express confidence?
McCLELLAN: Sure. He wasn't asked about his support or confidence for Karl. As I indicated yesterday, every person who works here at the White House, including Karl Rove, has the confidence of the President. This was not a question that came up in the Cabinet Room.
Q Well, the President has never been restrained at staying right in the lines of a question, as you know. (Laughter.) He kind of -- he says whatever he wants. And if he had wanted to express confidence in Karl Rove, he could have. Why didn't he?
McCLELLAN: He expressed it yesterday through me, and I just expressed it again….
Q Scott, you know what, to make a general observation here, in a previous administration, if a press secretary had given the sort of answers you've just given in referring to the fact that everybody who works here enjoys the confidence of the President, Republicans would have hammered them as having a kind of legalistic and sleazy defense. I mean, the reality is that you're parsing words, and you've been doing it for a few days now. So does the President think Karl Rove did something wrong, or doesn't he?
McCLELLAN: No, David, I'm not at all. I told you and the President told you earlier today that we don't want to prejudge the outcome of an ongoing investigation. And I think we've been round and round on this for two days now.
Q Even if it wasn't a crime? You know, there are those who believe that even if Karl Rove was trying to debunk bogus information, as Ken Mehlman suggested yesterday -- perhaps speaking on behalf of the White House -- that when you're dealing with a covert operative, that a senior official of the government should be darn well sure that that person is not undercover, is not covert, before speaking about them in any way, shape, or form. Does the President agree with that or not?
McCLELLAN: Again, we've been round and round on this for a couple of days now. I don't have anything to add to what I've said the previous two days.
Q That's a different question, and it's not round and round --
McCLELLAN: You heard from the President earlier.
Q It has nothing to do with the investigation, Scott, and you know it.
McCLELLAN: You heard from the President earlier today, and the President said he's not --
Q That's a dodge to my question. It has nothing to do with the investigation. Is it appropriate for a senior official to speak about a covert agent in any way, shape, or form without first finding out whether that person is working as a covert officer.
McCLELLAN: Well, first of all, you're wrong. This is all relating to questions about an ongoing investigation, and I've been through this.
Q If I wanted to ask you about an ongoing investigation, I would ask you about the statute, and I'm not doing that.
McCLELLAN: I think we've exhausted discussion on this the last couple of days.
Q You haven't even scratched the surface.
Q (someone else) It hasn't started.
Q (yet another person) Can I ask for clarification on what the President said at Sea Island on June 10th of last year, when he was saying that he would fire anybody from the White House who was involved in the leak of classified information? What were the parameters for those consequences?
McCLELLAN: Again, I've nothing to add on this discussion, and if we have any other topics you want to discuss, I'll be glad to do that.
Q I'm going to go to another question, somewhat on the same subject, but a different vein. Let's talk about the Wilson family. Is there any regret from this White House about the effects of this leak on this family?
McCLELLAN: We can continue to go round and round on all these --
Q No, no, no, no. This has nothing to do with the investigation. This is about the leak and the effects on this family. I mean, granted there are partisan politics being played, but let's talk about the leak that came from the White House that affected a family.
McCLELLAN: And let me just say again that anything relating to an ongoing investigation, I'm not going to get into discussing. I've said that the past couple of days.
Q Scott, from Africa, Mrs. Bush says, Karl Rove is a very good friend of mine; I've known him for years. And she's not going to speculate on any other part of the case. Well, does the President feel the same way about Karl Rove, the relationship with Karl Rove, a very good friend for many years?
McCLELLAN: Yes, he does.
Q And at this point, is it ebbing or flowing? Is that relationship with the President ebbing or flowing? (Laughter.)
McCLELLAN: Again, this is a creative way to come out to the same kind of questions.
Q You're right, it is, and I want an answer.
If you've made it this far, congratulations. You've just read a story that took me three hours to put together, and you've also witnessed the first lie the Bush administration has ever been caught in -- that the media simply will not let go. I'd wager that today's press conference will be even less pleasant. That pretty much sums up all the facts in the case so far. Since July 6th, there has been a tremendous amount of double-talk, spin, character assassination, and other skulduggery perpetrated against the media, Joe Wilson, and the Democratic party by the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Minnesota senator Norm Coleman, New York congressman Peter King, Karl Rove's lawyer, and pretty much everyone at Fox News. If I tried to dissect all of that, you would be reading this up until the moment I posted tomorrow's story, so I'll just leave it alone and provide some concise linkage to what the GOP is saying and what the progressives have to say in return:
Talking Points for Treason
Talking Points for Treason, Part II
The White House press corps is right. We haven't even scratched the surface, and this hasn't even started yet.
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