"If it turns out that I’ve been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would choose not to worship him anyway."
-Douglas Adams
December 31, 2005
fresh meat
Every word of this story is true. I did my best to transcribe the conversations verbatim, but the nature of them made me stop listening about halfway through. The words contained herein are accurate, but not all-inclusive.
Friday night, 6 pm-ish.
Mild-mannered manager Jon is taking an order, but abruptly hangs up the phone, comes into the kitchen, and starts rolling dough with great, furious intensity, swearing to himself. Phone rings two minutes later, and I answer:
me: "Popolino's, can I help you?"
shrill voice: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER!! NOT THE MANAGER, BUT THE OWNER!!"
me: "Uh, he's not here-"
sv: "I KNOW THE OWNER, AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO HIM!! WHAT'S HIS PHONE NUMBER?"
me: "Well, if you know him--"
sv: "I WILL NOT BE TREATED THIS WAY!! I AM EXTREMELY MAD!!!"
me: (thinks to self) "No shit you are. You're also a raging bitch, and probably fat."
Jon comes up behind me and checks the caller id. "Hang up on her."
me: "We have already tried to take care of you. Have a good night." *click*
Five minutes later, a woman in her late 30s-early 40s walks into the restaurant with two small children and an older, shriveled-looking lady in tow. She stands at the counter with her arms folded, and Jon ignores her, instead retreating to the office. I immediately know what is up, and decide to bite the bullet.
me: "Can I help you?" *thinks to self* "Boy, you're a big one, aren't you?"
voice I recognize as shrill, but less so: "I want the name and phone number of your owner right now, please."
me: "He's probably in the phone book." I spell his name for her.
her: "Phone book."
me: "Excuse me?"
her: "PHONE BOOK." I give her the book, and she looks up the owner's number and calls him. Aside, to her child: "Oh, look, he lives close to Grandma." No answer. She turns to me again. "I want you to dial your owner's cellphone number. I want him to know how I've been treated."
me: *thinks to self* "Sorry, you spent all your cooperation allowance." To her, simply: "No."
her: "I KNOW THE OWNER. HE CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE LAST WEEKEND, AND I THINK HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW HIS EMPLOYEES TREAT LOYAL CUSTOMERS. I HAVE A STORE CREDIT, AND I WANT TO USE IT RIGHT NOW."
me: "You can't come in here shouting at us, demanding things, and expect us to just give them to you. If this is the way you're going to behave, we don't want your business at all. I think you should leave."
her: "OH, I THINK THE OWNER KNOWS THAT YOU DO WANT MY BUSINESS. I HAVE BEEN A LOYAL CUSTOMER FOR SEVEN YEARS..." blah blah blah, more shouting.
I refer her to Jon, who tells her that she does not, in fact, have a store credit, and that she needs to get her stories straight if she's going to lie in order to get free pizza. She starts shouting again, and Jon tells me to call the police. I eagerly comply.
her: "GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS!! I HOPE IT'S OFFICER (name)!!! OR MAYBE IT'LL BE OFFICER (name)!!! HE'LL BE VERY INTERESTED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS!!!"
me: *thinks to self* "Oh, you're already familiar with the police. Imagine that."
She goes outside and sits in her car, appearing a few minutes later to tell us that when the police come, she'll be in her car. This turns out to be a moot point, for when the police do show up, she runs up to them and tells her story, frantically gesticulating and pointing at me through the window. The police officer (a lady, maybe one or two years older than me, and kinda cute) comes in and asks us what's up, and we tell her that we don't want this crazy lady ever coming here or calling us again. They relay the message, and after the woman shouts at the police for a couple minutes, she eventually gets into her car and drives away.
The unmitigated gall of this woman, to come in and pretend we owe her something, and to pretend that she knows the owner (whose name, phone number, and address are a mystery to her), and then throw a fit when we call BS... you'd think she worked at the white house.
I can't believe how worked-up people get about paying for food. This woman is probably plotting how to browbeat an unsuspecting Deek's or Slap Shot employee into giving her some free pizza, and meanwhile, her poor little kids have to listen to her go totally ballistic whenever she doesn't get exactly what she wants. We called the cops on their mom, for chrissake. I feel kinda sorry for them; they will either make a psychologist very, very wealthy someday... or get all the free therapy they can handle in prison. I hope she comes back tomorrow so we can have her arrested for criminal trespass... no, actually, I hope the fat bitch (easily 350) dies of a heart attack tomorrow; it'll be better for everyone she knows. Oh, by the way, her name is Abby Coney. Fear and revile her, all who work in foodservice.
So that's my funny story from last night.
Sports are full of hilarious names.
This blog rules. A venture capitalist on the West Coast shares what he knows about IT, security, grapefruit juice, and game theory thought experiments. And that's just in the top 4 posts. Massively stimulating for the brain; if I were more alert, I would have devoured it like so much Chicken Fajita pizza. However, it's very early in the morning, and I haven't had coffee.
Friday night, 6 pm-ish.
Mild-mannered manager Jon is taking an order, but abruptly hangs up the phone, comes into the kitchen, and starts rolling dough with great, furious intensity, swearing to himself. Phone rings two minutes later, and I answer:
me: "Popolino's, can I help you?"
shrill voice: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER!! NOT THE MANAGER, BUT THE OWNER!!"
me: "Uh, he's not here-"
sv: "I KNOW THE OWNER, AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO HIM!! WHAT'S HIS PHONE NUMBER?"
me: "Well, if you know him--"
sv: "I WILL NOT BE TREATED THIS WAY!! I AM EXTREMELY MAD!!!"
me: (thinks to self) "No shit you are. You're also a raging bitch, and probably fat."
Jon comes up behind me and checks the caller id. "Hang up on her."
me: "We have already tried to take care of you. Have a good night." *click*
Five minutes later, a woman in her late 30s-early 40s walks into the restaurant with two small children and an older, shriveled-looking lady in tow. She stands at the counter with her arms folded, and Jon ignores her, instead retreating to the office. I immediately know what is up, and decide to bite the bullet.
me: "Can I help you?" *thinks to self* "Boy, you're a big one, aren't you?"
voice I recognize as shrill, but less so: "I want the name and phone number of your owner right now, please."
me: "He's probably in the phone book." I spell his name for her.
her: "Phone book."
me: "Excuse me?"
her: "PHONE BOOK." I give her the book, and she looks up the owner's number and calls him. Aside, to her child: "Oh, look, he lives close to Grandma." No answer. She turns to me again. "I want you to dial your owner's cellphone number. I want him to know how I've been treated."
me: *thinks to self* "Sorry, you spent all your cooperation allowance." To her, simply: "No."
her: "I KNOW THE OWNER. HE CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE LAST WEEKEND, AND I THINK HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW HIS EMPLOYEES TREAT LOYAL CUSTOMERS. I HAVE A STORE CREDIT, AND I WANT TO USE IT RIGHT NOW."
me: "You can't come in here shouting at us, demanding things, and expect us to just give them to you. If this is the way you're going to behave, we don't want your business at all. I think you should leave."
her: "OH, I THINK THE OWNER KNOWS THAT YOU DO WANT MY BUSINESS. I HAVE BEEN A LOYAL CUSTOMER FOR SEVEN YEARS..." blah blah blah, more shouting.
I refer her to Jon, who tells her that she does not, in fact, have a store credit, and that she needs to get her stories straight if she's going to lie in order to get free pizza. She starts shouting again, and Jon tells me to call the police. I eagerly comply.
her: "GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS!! I HOPE IT'S OFFICER (name)!!! OR MAYBE IT'LL BE OFFICER (name)!!! HE'LL BE VERY INTERESTED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS!!!"
me: *thinks to self* "Oh, you're already familiar with the police. Imagine that."
She goes outside and sits in her car, appearing a few minutes later to tell us that when the police come, she'll be in her car. This turns out to be a moot point, for when the police do show up, she runs up to them and tells her story, frantically gesticulating and pointing at me through the window. The police officer (a lady, maybe one or two years older than me, and kinda cute) comes in and asks us what's up, and we tell her that we don't want this crazy lady ever coming here or calling us again. They relay the message, and after the woman shouts at the police for a couple minutes, she eventually gets into her car and drives away.
The unmitigated gall of this woman, to come in and pretend we owe her something, and to pretend that she knows the owner (whose name, phone number, and address are a mystery to her), and then throw a fit when we call BS... you'd think she worked at the white house.
I can't believe how worked-up people get about paying for food. This woman is probably plotting how to browbeat an unsuspecting Deek's or Slap Shot employee into giving her some free pizza, and meanwhile, her poor little kids have to listen to her go totally ballistic whenever she doesn't get exactly what she wants. We called the cops on their mom, for chrissake. I feel kinda sorry for them; they will either make a psychologist very, very wealthy someday... or get all the free therapy they can handle in prison. I hope she comes back tomorrow so we can have her arrested for criminal trespass... no, actually, I hope the fat bitch (easily 350) dies of a heart attack tomorrow; it'll be better for everyone she knows. Oh, by the way, her name is Abby Coney. Fear and revile her, all who work in foodservice.
So that's my funny story from last night.
Sports are full of hilarious names.
This blog rules. A venture capitalist on the West Coast shares what he knows about IT, security, grapefruit juice, and game theory thought experiments. And that's just in the top 4 posts. Massively stimulating for the brain; if I were more alert, I would have devoured it like so much Chicken Fajita pizza. However, it's very early in the morning, and I haven't had coffee.
December 30, 2005
changing history, part 2
This makes me sad. Isn't satire supposed to be protected speech? Or does Comedy Central only care about what Catholics think is funny?
I thought this episode was hilarious, but mostly because of its great sendup of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've long held that AA is not appropriate as a court sentence, because it REQUIRES that you walk in of your own free will and admit that you have a problem with alcohol. If you want to quit drinking, AA will work if you're willing to do what they ask you to. However, if you get a minor or a DUI or break some windows, have never done it before, and will never do it again because what you did was stupid and uncharacteristic of you, the answer is not to be forced to listen to people tell you that you have an incurable disease and that you have to give yourself up to a higher power so that you never drink again.
I bet the Catholic League laughs their sanctimonious asses off when South Park makes fun of Rosie O'Donnell, Micheal Jackson, R. Kelly, gay people, and Scientologists. Too bad they can't laugh at themselves; they're missing out on an opportunity for some real personal growth. (the pope's knowing wink at the screen before the virgin mary farts blood all over him is classic slapstick comedy.)
hmm. that does seem rather inflammatory. you'd have to see it to appreciate it; try and steal it from the internet. apparently, that's the only place this episode exists any more.
I thought this episode was hilarious, but mostly because of its great sendup of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've long held that AA is not appropriate as a court sentence, because it REQUIRES that you walk in of your own free will and admit that you have a problem with alcohol. If you want to quit drinking, AA will work if you're willing to do what they ask you to. However, if you get a minor or a DUI or break some windows, have never done it before, and will never do it again because what you did was stupid and uncharacteristic of you, the answer is not to be forced to listen to people tell you that you have an incurable disease and that you have to give yourself up to a higher power so that you never drink again.
I bet the Catholic League laughs their sanctimonious asses off when South Park makes fun of Rosie O'Donnell, Micheal Jackson, R. Kelly, gay people, and Scientologists. Too bad they can't laugh at themselves; they're missing out on an opportunity for some real personal growth. (the pope's knowing wink at the screen before the virgin mary farts blood all over him is classic slapstick comedy.)
hmm. that does seem rather inflammatory. you'd have to see it to appreciate it; try and steal it from the internet. apparently, that's the only place this episode exists any more.
changing history
I deleted the post from Dec. 28th.
I agonized for a little while over it; I'm not a big fan of altering history, but I think it's for the best. To condense a story down to its moral, one should not navel-gaze when they're in a bad mood, which is what I did, and the results were, uh... not pretty. (naver-gaze?! OH NO!!!!) I came off sounding like an ungrateful little bitch, and I'm really not. I apologize to anyone that had to read that nasty tripe.
I talked to Arshad for the first time in almost two years earlier this week. It didn't seem like it had been that long, but I am not one to have long phone conversations, and we ended up talking for more than three hours... I guess we had a lot to say. (We tried to disengage from one another, but really just ended up talking for another hour.) I'm glad to know that so many of my friends are happy and successful, doing things with their lives that have meaning for them.
In the grand tradition of a college student seeking to memorize information, I have made flashcards of the odds of making a particular hold'em hand when there are X outs to said hand. (Most interesting factoid: if you have 12 outs on the flop, say a winning flush draw, and an A that would win if you paired it, you are more than a 50% favorite to win - about 54%) I used to think that I hated math more than anything in the world, even fundamentalists; in reality, I just hate math classes. If only Mr. Janes could see me now.
During auditions for the cast of voice actors for Family Guy, most of the people who auditioned for teenage son Chris's part used a surfer-type voice to bring the character to life. Not surprising; what would a bunch of uncreative people in California try to do, if not be a surfer? (go to Hawaii...?) Seth Green got the part primarily for his bizarro interpretation of the boy, which was based on someone he had known in his previous, pre-acting life. As some that have known me for a very, very, very long time may remember, one of my earliest dreams was to be a voice actor, ever since I discovered that I had a knack for imitating Michaelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (you know, the surfer). From there, I progressed to the not-particularly-funny Dave Coulier's Jackalope, and then went on to annoy friends, family, and neighbors for years until I blossomed into a Mr. Garrison/Kim Jong Il/Tyrone the Crackhead doppelganger. The moral of this story is that if you are reading this, and you have a funny, imitatable voice, please call me and say something so that I can rehearse your ridiculous ululation and use it to become a member of the next ensemble cast of an animated show made for adults.
I got the Aqua Teen Hunger Force season 4 DVD for Christmas - although I do love the Mooninites, I wish they had found a way to strike a balance between Dr. Weird and Spacecataz. Dr. Weird made me pee a little from laughing more than twice, and although Spacecataz is funny, it's just not... random enough. But I digress. The special features include video of the voice actors recording an episode that is on the DVD; an interesting look behind the curtain. Meatwad and Carl are both voiced by the same skinny white guy, Dave Willis (hi-larious), and Master Shake is voiced by (I think, and I'm too lazy to look it up) Matt Maiellaro. Frylock is voiced by a guy whose name I don't know and cannot find that looks weirdly like Frylock. Oh, and the new winner of Worst DVD Feature Ever: these guys thought it would be funny if the "Play All" button on the menu played all the episodes - simultaneously, in Triscuit-sized windows. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!
oh, and Kevin? You forgot about the time that you "showed 'em all," ... mostly just Paul, but you showed 'em something. I'm still not sure what. ^_^
ps - i got an ipod for christmas and you didn't. that makes my toys cooler than yours....again. my only complaint is that even casting an askance glance at the thing scratches the face. other than that, it is the coolest christmas present I've ever gotten. Thanks, Mom. *hugs* (i know, it's not the present, but the thought that counts... and what an awesome thought.)
I agonized for a little while over it; I'm not a big fan of altering history, but I think it's for the best. To condense a story down to its moral, one should not navel-gaze when they're in a bad mood, which is what I did, and the results were, uh... not pretty. (naver-gaze?! OH NO!!!!) I came off sounding like an ungrateful little bitch, and I'm really not. I apologize to anyone that had to read that nasty tripe.
I talked to Arshad for the first time in almost two years earlier this week. It didn't seem like it had been that long, but I am not one to have long phone conversations, and we ended up talking for more than three hours... I guess we had a lot to say. (We tried to disengage from one another, but really just ended up talking for another hour.) I'm glad to know that so many of my friends are happy and successful, doing things with their lives that have meaning for them.
In the grand tradition of a college student seeking to memorize information, I have made flashcards of the odds of making a particular hold'em hand when there are X outs to said hand. (Most interesting factoid: if you have 12 outs on the flop, say a winning flush draw, and an A that would win if you paired it, you are more than a 50% favorite to win - about 54%) I used to think that I hated math more than anything in the world, even fundamentalists; in reality, I just hate math classes. If only Mr. Janes could see me now.
During auditions for the cast of voice actors for Family Guy, most of the people who auditioned for teenage son Chris's part used a surfer-type voice to bring the character to life. Not surprising; what would a bunch of uncreative people in California try to do, if not be a surfer? (go to Hawaii...?) Seth Green got the part primarily for his bizarro interpretation of the boy, which was based on someone he had known in his previous, pre-acting life. As some that have known me for a very, very, very long time may remember, one of my earliest dreams was to be a voice actor, ever since I discovered that I had a knack for imitating Michaelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (you know, the surfer). From there, I progressed to the not-particularly-funny Dave Coulier's Jackalope, and then went on to annoy friends, family, and neighbors for years until I blossomed into a Mr. Garrison/Kim Jong Il/Tyrone the Crackhead doppelganger. The moral of this story is that if you are reading this, and you have a funny, imitatable voice, please call me and say something so that I can rehearse your ridiculous ululation and use it to become a member of the next ensemble cast of an animated show made for adults.
I got the Aqua Teen Hunger Force season 4 DVD for Christmas - although I do love the Mooninites, I wish they had found a way to strike a balance between Dr. Weird and Spacecataz. Dr. Weird made me pee a little from laughing more than twice, and although Spacecataz is funny, it's just not... random enough. But I digress. The special features include video of the voice actors recording an episode that is on the DVD; an interesting look behind the curtain. Meatwad and Carl are both voiced by the same skinny white guy, Dave Willis (hi-larious), and Master Shake is voiced by (I think, and I'm too lazy to look it up) Matt Maiellaro. Frylock is voiced by a guy whose name I don't know and cannot find that looks weirdly like Frylock. Oh, and the new winner of Worst DVD Feature Ever: these guys thought it would be funny if the "Play All" button on the menu played all the episodes - simultaneously, in Triscuit-sized windows. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!
oh, and Kevin? You forgot about the time that you "showed 'em all," ... mostly just Paul, but you showed 'em something. I'm still not sure what. ^_^
ps - i got an ipod for christmas and you didn't. that makes my toys cooler than yours....again. my only complaint is that even casting an askance glance at the thing scratches the face. other than that, it is the coolest christmas present I've ever gotten. Thanks, Mom. *hugs* (i know, it's not the present, but the thought that counts... and what an awesome thought.)
December 29, 2005
so i'm not a moron after all!!!
warning: this post will be intensely boring to those of you not interested in poker theory.
This post on 2+2 interested and frustrated me. The poster presents a problem: KQ suited has a little more equity (win/tie likelihood) than A10 off-suit when you put it up against any two random hold 'em hands. (KQ: 47.1% / A10: 44.3%) However, the equity values reverse when the same two hands are calling a raise from someone holding any of the top 30 percent of possible hold 'em hands. (A10: 56.5% / KQ: 54%) His question was: Which would you rather be the raiser with, and which hand is more valuable?
I had two ideas about this situation.
1. I would rather have A10, because if the other guy called my raise with an A with a lower kicker, I would be killing him, whereas if he called my raise with the same cards and I had KQ, I would be in a pretty bad spot. Lots of tournament players at the $10 level would gleefully call all sorts of bets with A-anything, particularly at late stages of the game.
2. The difference in this case is SO MARGINAL that I would probably just raise with KQ anyways and not even think about it.
I wanted to post these thoughts, but they would not come out of my fingers in an intelligent way. Every time I rewrote my reply, I was afraid that I was missing some sort of deep expression of poker theory, and that the 1.5 to 3 percent gap in equity differences was the sort of thing that makes a big difference over the long term. Not wanting to sound as stupid as I was certain that I was, I went with the "say nothing" option.
Opting not to reply, the thread refreshed itself, this time with two replies from two of the most prolific posters on 2+2. The first post made my second point, and the second post made my first, both in ways that were much clearer than what I had come up with. My confidence restored, I threw in my $0.02, but mostly so I could make a little joke about slicing a tomato.
Moral of the story: My instincts aren't so bad after all, and 2+2 is freakin' sweet.
This post on 2+2 interested and frustrated me. The poster presents a problem: KQ suited has a little more equity (win/tie likelihood) than A10 off-suit when you put it up against any two random hold 'em hands. (KQ: 47.1% / A10: 44.3%) However, the equity values reverse when the same two hands are calling a raise from someone holding any of the top 30 percent of possible hold 'em hands. (A10: 56.5% / KQ: 54%) His question was: Which would you rather be the raiser with, and which hand is more valuable?
I had two ideas about this situation.
1. I would rather have A10, because if the other guy called my raise with an A with a lower kicker, I would be killing him, whereas if he called my raise with the same cards and I had KQ, I would be in a pretty bad spot. Lots of tournament players at the $10 level would gleefully call all sorts of bets with A-anything, particularly at late stages of the game.
2. The difference in this case is SO MARGINAL that I would probably just raise with KQ anyways and not even think about it.
I wanted to post these thoughts, but they would not come out of my fingers in an intelligent way. Every time I rewrote my reply, I was afraid that I was missing some sort of deep expression of poker theory, and that the 1.5 to 3 percent gap in equity differences was the sort of thing that makes a big difference over the long term. Not wanting to sound as stupid as I was certain that I was, I went with the "say nothing" option.
Opting not to reply, the thread refreshed itself, this time with two replies from two of the most prolific posters on 2+2. The first post made my second point, and the second post made my first, both in ways that were much clearer than what I had come up with. My confidence restored, I threw in my $0.02, but mostly so I could make a little joke about slicing a tomato.
Moral of the story: My instincts aren't so bad after all, and 2+2 is freakin' sweet.
December 10, 2005
one flight down
The time is (bing!) 6:23 am.
I've been up since yesterday morning, and I still can't sleep. Yesterday, I had a job interview at Sears. They want to offer me the job, but I have to pass a background check first.
I think that sentence is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe that's why I feel like college is a waste of money and a futile exercise in how much better everyone else is at not catching felony charges than me.
It's quiet in the house this morning... the only sounds are the music and the dishwasher. I was suddenly overcome with the desire to clean at 5am, and I went so far overboard that I was hanging stuff on the walls and moving furniture around to make room for the incoming Christmas tree. Roommate Adam was drinking with me tonight, which is a very strange occurrence; he was even willing to let me teach him how to play Magic with several of my closest friends (and BP). Everyone, even Derek, has long since gone home or gone to bed, and I find myself enjoying the solitude.
The whiskey told me that I should listen to some Norah Jones, and all it's done so far is make me miss Arshad. I haven't talked to that boy since ... well, close to two years ago. He sent me some books to read while I was locked up, but because lockup is a crazy, backwards place, I didn't get to read them until I was free. I also never took the time to personally thank him... so, until it crosses my mind to call and do it voicewise, thank you, Arshad, for turning me on to Augusten Burroughs (no pun intended).
Five and a half hours remain until the foosball tournament. I am hoping to stay awake until the festivities are over; meanwhile, half of me hopes that keenan will randomly show up online with the promise of artificial stimulants.
Tonight seems auspicious... I feel like dumping out all the garbage that life has filled me with over the past couple of months, but I know that between the alcohol and the up-all-night, it will be much more maudlin and self-pitying than I really mean it to be.... so I think I will simply express my desire for a less-garbage-filled life.... and then leave it alone.
I don't remember why it was so important for me to blog tonight; maybe it's just because I have the opportunity to use my roommate's laptop and hang out in the living room, instead of holing up in my massively messy bedroom and eventually crawling into bed. Either way, I feel spent.
I shouldn't have said that John Lennon was the greatest voice for peace in two generations yesterday. To do so would be to discount and dismiss the contributions of people around the world, such as Bill Clinton, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Teresa. That is patently ridiculous, and I wish to modify the sentence as such: Mr. Lennon was one of the greatest peace activists the world will ever see, and it is supremely ironic that he met an entirely meaningless end.
Here comes the sun.
I've been up since yesterday morning, and I still can't sleep. Yesterday, I had a job interview at Sears. They want to offer me the job, but I have to pass a background check first.
I think that sentence is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe that's why I feel like college is a waste of money and a futile exercise in how much better everyone else is at not catching felony charges than me.
It's quiet in the house this morning... the only sounds are the music and the dishwasher. I was suddenly overcome with the desire to clean at 5am, and I went so far overboard that I was hanging stuff on the walls and moving furniture around to make room for the incoming Christmas tree. Roommate Adam was drinking with me tonight, which is a very strange occurrence; he was even willing to let me teach him how to play Magic with several of my closest friends (and BP). Everyone, even Derek, has long since gone home or gone to bed, and I find myself enjoying the solitude.
The whiskey told me that I should listen to some Norah Jones, and all it's done so far is make me miss Arshad. I haven't talked to that boy since ... well, close to two years ago. He sent me some books to read while I was locked up, but because lockup is a crazy, backwards place, I didn't get to read them until I was free. I also never took the time to personally thank him... so, until it crosses my mind to call and do it voicewise, thank you, Arshad, for turning me on to Augusten Burroughs (no pun intended).
Five and a half hours remain until the foosball tournament. I am hoping to stay awake until the festivities are over; meanwhile, half of me hopes that keenan will randomly show up online with the promise of artificial stimulants.
Tonight seems auspicious... I feel like dumping out all the garbage that life has filled me with over the past couple of months, but I know that between the alcohol and the up-all-night, it will be much more maudlin and self-pitying than I really mean it to be.... so I think I will simply express my desire for a less-garbage-filled life.... and then leave it alone.
I don't remember why it was so important for me to blog tonight; maybe it's just because I have the opportunity to use my roommate's laptop and hang out in the living room, instead of holing up in my massively messy bedroom and eventually crawling into bed. Either way, I feel spent.
I shouldn't have said that John Lennon was the greatest voice for peace in two generations yesterday. To do so would be to discount and dismiss the contributions of people around the world, such as Bill Clinton, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Teresa. That is patently ridiculous, and I wish to modify the sentence as such: Mr. Lennon was one of the greatest peace activists the world will ever see, and it is supremely ironic that he met an entirely meaningless end.
Here comes the sun.
December 9, 2005
frohe geburtstag zum dir
Kevin's birthday is today; by the time you read this, he's 24, his hairline is receding, and the only thing he has left to look forward to is free coffee at Hardee's in 31 years. Wish him a happy birthday: vogeltanz@gmail.com.
I got my check today. Furthermore, the refund of all the garbage Enterprise Car Fuck You In The Ass tried to stick me with is coming tomorrow. Happy Kevin's Birthday to Dusty. Our long national nightmare is finally over.
The dough rolling machine at Pops made all kinds of horrible noise that made it impossible to understand anything anyone said unless they shouted. We have since replaced the guts of said machine, and now it is whisper-quiet, to the point where I occasionally insert dough and turn it off because I cannot tell that it is on.
There is a foosball tournament at Paul's on Saturday... I am too lazy/tired to look up a link for registration right now, but I will be sure to blog about the happenings afterward.
And, finally, today is the anniversary of John Lennon's unfortunate demise. It is very sad that a good and true soul can be extinguished by a darkened and sickened one, but alas, it is a fact of life. The good do not always triumph, and although evil does not often win the day, the damage that it does cannot be erased, nor can it be easily forgotten. May we all remember the vision and hope that Mr. Lennon embodied, and endeavor to carry out his wishes, despite the darkness that seeks to extinguish the light.
I got my check today. Furthermore, the refund of all the garbage Enterprise Car Fuck You In The Ass tried to stick me with is coming tomorrow. Happy Kevin's Birthday to Dusty. Our long national nightmare is finally over.
The dough rolling machine at Pops made all kinds of horrible noise that made it impossible to understand anything anyone said unless they shouted. We have since replaced the guts of said machine, and now it is whisper-quiet, to the point where I occasionally insert dough and turn it off because I cannot tell that it is on.
There is a foosball tournament at Paul's on Saturday... I am too lazy/tired to look up a link for registration right now, but I will be sure to blog about the happenings afterward.
And, finally, today is the anniversary of John Lennon's unfortunate demise. It is very sad that a good and true soul can be extinguished by a darkened and sickened one, but alas, it is a fact of life. The good do not always triumph, and although evil does not often win the day, the damage that it does cannot be erased, nor can it be easily forgotten. May we all remember the vision and hope that Mr. Lennon embodied, and endeavor to carry out his wishes, despite the darkness that seeks to extinguish the light.
November 27, 2005
what a f***ing joke
From the November 8, 2005 White House Press Briefing:
HELEN THOMAS: I'm asking about exemptions.
MR. McCLELLAN: Let me respond. And he would never authorize the use of torture. We have an obligation to do all that we can to protect the American people. We are engaged --
HELEN THOMAS: That's not the answer I'm asking for --
MR. McCLELLAN: It is an answer -- because the American people want to know that we are doing all within our power to prevent terrorist attacks from happening. There are people in this world who want to spread a hateful ideology that is based on killing innocent men, women and children. We saw what they can do on September 11th --
HELEN THOMAS: He didn't ask for an exemption --
MR. McCLELLAN: -- and we are going to --
HELEN THOMAS: -- answer that one question. I'm asking, is the administration asking for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: I am answering your question. The President has made it very clear that we are going to do --
HELEN THOMAS: You're not answering -- yes or no?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, you don't want the American people to hear what the facts are, Helen, and I'm going to tell them the facts.
HELEN THOMAS: -- the American people every day. I'm asking you, yes or no, did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: And let me respond. You've had your opportunity to ask the question. Now I'm going to respond to it.
HELEN THOMAS: If you could answer in a straight way.
MR. McCLELLAN: And I'm going to answer it, just like the President -- I just did, and the President has answered it numerous times.
HELEN THOMAS: -- yes or no --
MR. McCLELLAN: Our most important responsibility is to protect the American people. We are engaged in a global war against Islamic radicals who are intent on spreading a hateful ideology, and intent on killing innocent men, women and children.
HELEN THOMAS: Did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are going to do what is necessary to protect the American people.
HELEN THOMAS: Is that the answer?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are also going to do so in a way that adheres to our laws and to our values. We have made that very clear. The President directed everybody within this government that we do not engage in torture. We will not torture. He made that very clear.
HELEN THOMAS: Are you denying we asked for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, we will continue to work with the Congress on the issue that you brought up. The way you characterize it, that we're asking for exemption from torture, is just flat-out false, because there are laws that are on the books that prohibit the use of torture. And we adhere to those laws.
HELEN THOMAS: We did ask for an exemption; is that right? I mean, be simple -- this is a very simple question.
MR. McCLELLAN: I just answered your question. The President answered it last week.
HELEN THOMAS: What are we asking for?
HELEN THOMAS: Would you characterize what we're asking for?
MR. McCLELLAN: We're asking to do what is necessary to protect the American people in a way that is consistent with our laws and our treaty obligations.
HELEN THOMAS: I'm asking about exemptions.
MR. McCLELLAN: Let me respond. And he would never authorize the use of torture. We have an obligation to do all that we can to protect the American people. We are engaged --
HELEN THOMAS: That's not the answer I'm asking for --
MR. McCLELLAN: It is an answer -- because the American people want to know that we are doing all within our power to prevent terrorist attacks from happening. There are people in this world who want to spread a hateful ideology that is based on killing innocent men, women and children. We saw what they can do on September 11th --
HELEN THOMAS: He didn't ask for an exemption --
MR. McCLELLAN: -- and we are going to --
HELEN THOMAS: -- answer that one question. I'm asking, is the administration asking for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: I am answering your question. The President has made it very clear that we are going to do --
HELEN THOMAS: You're not answering -- yes or no?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, you don't want the American people to hear what the facts are, Helen, and I'm going to tell them the facts.
HELEN THOMAS: -- the American people every day. I'm asking you, yes or no, did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: And let me respond. You've had your opportunity to ask the question. Now I'm going to respond to it.
HELEN THOMAS: If you could answer in a straight way.
MR. McCLELLAN: And I'm going to answer it, just like the President -- I just did, and the President has answered it numerous times.
HELEN THOMAS: -- yes or no --
MR. McCLELLAN: Our most important responsibility is to protect the American people. We are engaged in a global war against Islamic radicals who are intent on spreading a hateful ideology, and intent on killing innocent men, women and children.
HELEN THOMAS: Did we ask for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are going to do what is necessary to protect the American people.
HELEN THOMAS: Is that the answer?
MR. McCLELLAN: We are also going to do so in a way that adheres to our laws and to our values. We have made that very clear. The President directed everybody within this government that we do not engage in torture. We will not torture. He made that very clear.
HELEN THOMAS: Are you denying we asked for an exemption?
MR. McCLELLAN: Helen, we will continue to work with the Congress on the issue that you brought up. The way you characterize it, that we're asking for exemption from torture, is just flat-out false, because there are laws that are on the books that prohibit the use of torture. And we adhere to those laws.
HELEN THOMAS: We did ask for an exemption; is that right? I mean, be simple -- this is a very simple question.
MR. McCLELLAN: I just answered your question. The President answered it last week.
HELEN THOMAS: What are we asking for?
HELEN THOMAS: Would you characterize what we're asking for?
MR. McCLELLAN: We're asking to do what is necessary to protect the American people in a way that is consistent with our laws and our treaty obligations.
November 24, 2005
november 24th
Happy Thanksgiving!!
That phrase always looks so ridiculous to me... something about both words having capital letters. I don't know; I digress.
It's been almost eight months to the day since I walked away from the confines of the correctional system; in that time, I bought a car, went to SF, moved into my house, changed jobs, and went back to school. I'm playing good poker, I'm doing acceptably well in school, and I'm looking forward to when the Park District pours the ice rink behind our house so that I can go skating.
Particularly when you think about it against the background of Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, the tsunami in Asia, or any one of innumerable disasters around the world (and close to home) in the last year or so, being able to take such clearly defined steps forward towards my own goals and destinations is .... t3h r0x0r. molodiets. ee desu.
Today I just wanted to use this space to reflect for a few minutes, and to share my gratitude and joy with the two people in the audience. So I did, the distilled results are viewable above, and there was lots of ensuing joy and gratitude. OMG U R 4LL T3H B35T!!!!!!!!11!!!!11eleven!!!!11! Best wishes to everyone, everywhere; no matter whether you're with family, friends, or 30 cats and a turtle.
That phrase always looks so ridiculous to me... something about both words having capital letters. I don't know; I digress.
It's been almost eight months to the day since I walked away from the confines of the correctional system; in that time, I bought a car, went to SF, moved into my house, changed jobs, and went back to school. I'm playing good poker, I'm doing acceptably well in school, and I'm looking forward to when the Park District pours the ice rink behind our house so that I can go skating.
Particularly when you think about it against the background of Hurricane Katrina, the war in Iraq, the tsunami in Asia, or any one of innumerable disasters around the world (and close to home) in the last year or so, being able to take such clearly defined steps forward towards my own goals and destinations is .... t3h r0x0r. molodiets. ee desu.
Today I just wanted to use this space to reflect for a few minutes, and to share my gratitude and joy with the two people in the audience. So I did, the distilled results are viewable above, and there was lots of ensuing joy and gratitude. OMG U R 4LL T3H B35T!!!!!!!!11!!!!11eleven!!!!11! Best wishes to everyone, everywhere; no matter whether you're with family, friends, or 30 cats and a turtle.
November 23, 2005
i'm afraid it's not keeping any drinks anything any more
The insurance ordeal is nearly over. I sent them the title to Stan, and "the check is in the mail," .... literally.
In other news, my PC keyboard's space bar was not functioning properly due to unfortunate beer spillage. I pounded on it a few times after an unfortunate hand of poker was followed by an inability to type a pithy comment about my opponent's mother.
Now it works fine.
Also, I was at the mall yesterday, and picked up a turtleneck shirt to cover up the latest evidence that I really am some sort of man-whore. It appears that the evidence will be gone by tomorrow anyways, and I really only bought the shirt so that I wouldn't have to deal with my mom making fun of me when I go home for thanksgiving.... I guess it will have to wait until next time.
While I was there, I of course had to play a couple rounds of Dance Dance Revolution, just to see if I still had the chops... I more or less do; my sight-reading skill has declined, and I tire out faster, but I can still finish most 8- or 9-foot songs. The guy that played with me, though, is probably the second-best DDR player I've ever seen, right behind that crazy kid in SF that tried to beat MAX 300 on heavy mode. I was awestruck and humbled.
I am intensely cheerful about the holiday season this year. Anybody who bitches about having to see their family or put up with in-laws or travel or anything should have to spend the holiday season at the state hospital, with short weekly visits from family and closest friends the only link to what was once home, and crappy prison thanksgiving dinner.
In other news, my PC keyboard's space bar was not functioning properly due to unfortunate beer spillage. I pounded on it a few times after an unfortunate hand of poker was followed by an inability to type a pithy comment about my opponent's mother.
Now it works fine.
Also, I was at the mall yesterday, and picked up a turtleneck shirt to cover up the latest evidence that I really am some sort of man-whore. It appears that the evidence will be gone by tomorrow anyways, and I really only bought the shirt so that I wouldn't have to deal with my mom making fun of me when I go home for thanksgiving.... I guess it will have to wait until next time.
While I was there, I of course had to play a couple rounds of Dance Dance Revolution, just to see if I still had the chops... I more or less do; my sight-reading skill has declined, and I tire out faster, but I can still finish most 8- or 9-foot songs. The guy that played with me, though, is probably the second-best DDR player I've ever seen, right behind that crazy kid in SF that tried to beat MAX 300 on heavy mode. I was awestruck and humbled.
I am intensely cheerful about the holiday season this year. Anybody who bitches about having to see their family or put up with in-laws or travel or anything should have to spend the holiday season at the state hospital, with short weekly visits from family and closest friends the only link to what was once home, and crappy prison thanksgiving dinner.
November 19, 2005
wtf
So... the House passes $50 billion dollars in budget cuts, mostly in social programs like medicaid, school lunches, food stamps, and the like. This week, the House takes up a $60 billion tax cut proposal, mostly directed at (wait for it) wealthy individuals ($1m+/year).
Go figure.
this really twisted my dimple.
oh, and it was Jon WEAVER, not Jon LEVER.
A month later, the insurance company admits that it was the girl's fault that my car got wrecked. It's still at the gas station where I had it towed; it's possible that there is snow inside. Storage charges accrue.
I haven't walked to school in the cold since 9th grade, with rare exceptions. I didn't like it then, and I like it less now.
thank you, that is all.
Go figure.
this really twisted my dimple.
oh, and it was Jon WEAVER, not Jon LEVER.
A month later, the insurance company admits that it was the girl's fault that my car got wrecked. It's still at the gas station where I had it towed; it's possible that there is snow inside. Storage charges accrue.
I haven't walked to school in the cold since 9th grade, with rare exceptions. I didn't like it then, and I like it less now.
thank you, that is all.
November 6, 2005
long time gone
Phew. It's certainly been a while.
I apologize for the long delay between posts. Reading too much of dailyKos and the Huffington Post really makes me hate America, and the last thing both my readers need to see is another "The White House is full of crooks" post. We all know that already. That aside, there is much to discuss. I'll try to be brief and informative, as I know the two of you lead busy lives.
(sip of coffee)
First, a question: Which is preferable to you? A country where the press is monitored and censored by the government, or a country where the press is free from government sanction, but marginalized and propagandized by that same government? Through history, those options tend to be two sides of the same coin; just read an article about international politics from Pravda or Xinhua (not that China makes any claims about its media being free, at least that anyone believes). Or, for an example that hits a little closer to home, consider the New York Times. All of these are outstanding examples of government censorship and meddling in the "free" media.
Wait, what? The Gray Lady?
Sure. Take, for example, this piece about Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. (NY Times, free registration may be required) How nice that the Times chose to do a human interest piece on a person whose human side must, by virtue of the job he is applying for, be put aside in favor of larger concerns. And, of course, there's the magical lie that Judy Miller heard from the administration and repeated as though it were fact. Meanwhile, Miller is the furthest thing from being fired for lying and conspiring with the White House to fleece the American people, and the Times continues to be clowned by its own reporters.
So, the question. Is it better when you know what you're getting, or when you think you're getting the real deal but you're not? Here's my suggestion - at the uppermost levels of the media, there's not much difference between the two, because the result on the part of the consumer is the same: for the most part, they think they're getting mostly, if not wholly, honest "reporting." The thing about repressive, totalitarian governments crushing opposition to the state-owned media is that it's hard to keep that sort of thing going in a democracy, particularly one with a large middle and/or upper class; one can always start their own broadcasting company (or blog ^_^). The other thing is that, like we saw in Yugoslavia, eventually the disconnect between what the media is reporting ("the resistance are terrorist, fascist dogs and should be beaten") and what is actually happening (police beating old women and teenagers in the streets) becomes so large that people simply cannot ignore the cognitive dissonance that results. Either the government is lying to you, or the pictures you saw and the stories you heard were false. Generally, people make the right choice and overthrow their totalitarian leaders (if they can).
So instead, semi-authoritarian regimes use constant, medium pressure on news agencies to keep them (dis)honest. Although in the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that Pravda takes every negative report about the Russian government to sling mud in return at whoever is denouncing their human rights violations, most people in Russia don't see it that way. They see it as Russia defending itself from the constant, unjustified onslaught of negative opinion from the West. In the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that China filters its news through the government. However, in China, anybody that knows about it doesn't talk about it, and most people don't even think about it. So business continues as usual, and the public is more or less convinced that they are getting as much of the story as they need/deserve.
Democracies use the media as a tool, too. Refer to that other paragraph up there, where I indicate at least two major instances of the New York Times, the "paper of record," blatantly propagandizing for the White House. Hundreds of thousands of people will read or have read those articles and believe every word of them. Not everybody, mind you, but many, many people. This gives a nasty advantage to the government; under the guise of a free press, the information leaked to the paper then becomes evidence for what the administration wants you to believe (exhibit A: Dick Cheney going on Meet the Press the first week of September, 2002 and asking, "Did you see the article in the Times (unspoken: that we planted) this week? It says Iraq is building nuclear weapons." So the end result is the same. People read fake news that is ostensibly less fake than the news in authoritarian regimes, but take it as though it were, you know, real.
The biggest difference is that in America, there are lots and lots of blogs dedicated to the truth, or at least opinion that is clearly demarcated as opinion. The HuffPo, although it is growing a new generation of young America-haters, will not be shut down any time soon. Neither will dailyKos, the most popular blog in the Ecosystem. And perhaps that is the greatest measure of the free press; after all, the Times has to worry about things like access to top levels of government, and its shamed, discredited reporters turning on it and writing tell-all books about the massive dysfunction at all editorial levels of the paper. I will never meet with Dick Cheney, and I have no staff (although most days, it's tough enough to keep myself in line). The unspoken rules are different for me, and that gives me a greater measure of freedom than the upper levels of the press. (Conversely, I have somewhat less responsibility to my readers, but that's a story for a different day) Hence the boldface.
So that's what I think; discuss freely.
On to my second point. President Clinton spoke at the University of Minnesota last night. I listened to most of his speech and the Q&A session on Minnesota Public Radio afterward. (link to article here, no audio, sorry) This speech made me long for a time when instead of sneaky crooks and relentless cronyism headed by a puppet with no marketable political skills whatsoever, we had a president who could, in the words of Walter Mondale, "think, who could write, who could connect with people, and who could SPEAK." President Bush could NEVER speak like this. He could never come close to writing a speech this eloquent, and he could never reaffirm anyone's belief in the greatness of America and the world, unless he ran around in a flight suit with an American flag in one hand, a bullhorn in the other, and shouted "STAY THE COURSE!!! FREEDOM!!! I WILL NOT COMMENT UNTIL THE INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETE!!!" in front of a giant banner that said Mission Accomplished. And even then, probably not.
I digress. At the end of Clinton's speech, he wanted to give the audience hope that the world was not dominated by a handful of corporations that had reached their long tendrils into the upper echelons of government, and this is how he did it. He said that these three reasons had hardly ever been mentioned in the press, and that the three had never been mentioned together (and they remained that way, even after the MPR.org news coverage), so I'm doing it here for you, paraphrasing and not quoting his words (please don't sue me):
1. Democracy is spreading. More than half of the people in the world live under democratic regimes. 60,000 mayors in China are either elected, or at least sensitive to public opinion. Democracy is not a safeguard against bad government (imagine that), but it at least gives people a chance to get the bad government they might have wanted, and at a local level, it can affect positive change. Clinton cites the example of the mayor of a major Chinese city fielding many, many complains from his citizens about the disrepair of the streets in his city. If the Chinese people feel free enough to complain about the streets... what's next?
2. The Internet is spreading, and its use as a political organizing tool is growing exponentially. Many thanks go to Howard Dean and Joe Trippi for organizing the largest grassroots presidential primary campaign, ever. Their organization has been mimicked by other, more successful candidates, and a similar system will no doubt be in place (with enhancements thanks to the power of hindsight) for the 2008 presidential contest. The Bush-Clinton Katrina fund has received the vast majority of its donations over the Internet, and the average amount of those donations has been $50 or less. Average people like you and me have come together to help people whose lives were devastated half a world away, and it is a testament to the power of the Internet that it has become the primary preferred medium for grassroots public action.
3. Non-governmental organizations are increasing in number. Bill Gates, though he is the founder of one of the most evil corporations in the world, is dedicated to spending his fortune before he dies, and he has given over a billion dollars to prevent disease in Africa. He has also given money to 250,000 high schools here in America. His foundation is the single largest philanthropic organization in the world. He is only the tip of the iceberg - there are thousands and thousands of organizations with specific purposes that you can give your money to, and they have pledged to do some good with it. (I recommend starting with my favorites, the ACLU, Democracy for America, and Minnesota Public Radio.) NGOs are even spreading throughout the world; even though Pravda can't be trusted to not hate the haters, there are over 60,000 NGOs in Russia.
The fundamental point is this: There are now more ways than ever for the individual citizen to do public good. This is a trend that is not shrinking or disappearing; it is expanding, and can only continue to do so. China let in the Internet, in a censored format; that is one Pandora's Box that they definitely cannot close. Dean and Trippi let politics onto the Internet in a meaningful way, and that will change the face of campaigning in the USA forever. There will be elections we are happy about and elections that take giant steps backwards, but the American federal government is not the barometer of progress for the world.
Lucky for us.
I apologize for the long delay between posts. Reading too much of dailyKos and the Huffington Post really makes me hate America, and the last thing both my readers need to see is another "The White House is full of crooks" post. We all know that already. That aside, there is much to discuss. I'll try to be brief and informative, as I know the two of you lead busy lives.
(sip of coffee)
First, a question: Which is preferable to you? A country where the press is monitored and censored by the government, or a country where the press is free from government sanction, but marginalized and propagandized by that same government? Through history, those options tend to be two sides of the same coin; just read an article about international politics from Pravda or Xinhua (not that China makes any claims about its media being free, at least that anyone believes). Or, for an example that hits a little closer to home, consider the New York Times. All of these are outstanding examples of government censorship and meddling in the "free" media.
Wait, what? The Gray Lady?
Sure. Take, for example, this piece about Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. (NY Times, free registration may be required) How nice that the Times chose to do a human interest piece on a person whose human side must, by virtue of the job he is applying for, be put aside in favor of larger concerns. And, of course, there's the magical lie that Judy Miller heard from the administration and repeated as though it were fact. Meanwhile, Miller is the furthest thing from being fired for lying and conspiring with the White House to fleece the American people, and the Times continues to be clowned by its own reporters.
So, the question. Is it better when you know what you're getting, or when you think you're getting the real deal but you're not? Here's my suggestion - at the uppermost levels of the media, there's not much difference between the two, because the result on the part of the consumer is the same: for the most part, they think they're getting mostly, if not wholly, honest "reporting." The thing about repressive, totalitarian governments crushing opposition to the state-owned media is that it's hard to keep that sort of thing going in a democracy, particularly one with a large middle and/or upper class; one can always start their own broadcasting company (or blog ^_^). The other thing is that, like we saw in Yugoslavia, eventually the disconnect between what the media is reporting ("the resistance are terrorist, fascist dogs and should be beaten") and what is actually happening (police beating old women and teenagers in the streets) becomes so large that people simply cannot ignore the cognitive dissonance that results. Either the government is lying to you, or the pictures you saw and the stories you heard were false. Generally, people make the right choice and overthrow their totalitarian leaders (if they can).
So instead, semi-authoritarian regimes use constant, medium pressure on news agencies to keep them (dis)honest. Although in the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that Pravda takes every negative report about the Russian government to sling mud in return at whoever is denouncing their human rights violations, most people in Russia don't see it that way. They see it as Russia defending itself from the constant, unjustified onslaught of negative opinion from the West. In the rest of the world, it's not really a secret that China filters its news through the government. However, in China, anybody that knows about it doesn't talk about it, and most people don't even think about it. So business continues as usual, and the public is more or less convinced that they are getting as much of the story as they need/deserve.
Democracies use the media as a tool, too. Refer to that other paragraph up there, where I indicate at least two major instances of the New York Times, the "paper of record," blatantly propagandizing for the White House. Hundreds of thousands of people will read or have read those articles and believe every word of them. Not everybody, mind you, but many, many people. This gives a nasty advantage to the government; under the guise of a free press, the information leaked to the paper then becomes evidence for what the administration wants you to believe (exhibit A: Dick Cheney going on Meet the Press the first week of September, 2002 and asking, "Did you see the article in the Times (unspoken: that we planted) this week? It says Iraq is building nuclear weapons." So the end result is the same. People read fake news that is ostensibly less fake than the news in authoritarian regimes, but take it as though it were, you know, real.
The biggest difference is that in America, there are lots and lots of blogs dedicated to the truth, or at least opinion that is clearly demarcated as opinion. The HuffPo, although it is growing a new generation of young America-haters, will not be shut down any time soon. Neither will dailyKos, the most popular blog in the Ecosystem. And perhaps that is the greatest measure of the free press; after all, the Times has to worry about things like access to top levels of government, and its shamed, discredited reporters turning on it and writing tell-all books about the massive dysfunction at all editorial levels of the paper. I will never meet with Dick Cheney, and I have no staff (although most days, it's tough enough to keep myself in line). The unspoken rules are different for me, and that gives me a greater measure of freedom than the upper levels of the press. (Conversely, I have somewhat less responsibility to my readers, but that's a story for a different day) Hence the boldface.
So that's what I think; discuss freely.
On to my second point. President Clinton spoke at the University of Minnesota last night. I listened to most of his speech and the Q&A session on Minnesota Public Radio afterward. (link to article here, no audio, sorry) This speech made me long for a time when instead of sneaky crooks and relentless cronyism headed by a puppet with no marketable political skills whatsoever, we had a president who could, in the words of Walter Mondale, "think, who could write, who could connect with people, and who could SPEAK." President Bush could NEVER speak like this. He could never come close to writing a speech this eloquent, and he could never reaffirm anyone's belief in the greatness of America and the world, unless he ran around in a flight suit with an American flag in one hand, a bullhorn in the other, and shouted "STAY THE COURSE!!! FREEDOM!!! I WILL NOT COMMENT UNTIL THE INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETE!!!" in front of a giant banner that said Mission Accomplished. And even then, probably not.
I digress. At the end of Clinton's speech, he wanted to give the audience hope that the world was not dominated by a handful of corporations that had reached their long tendrils into the upper echelons of government, and this is how he did it. He said that these three reasons had hardly ever been mentioned in the press, and that the three had never been mentioned together (and they remained that way, even after the MPR.org news coverage), so I'm doing it here for you, paraphrasing and not quoting his words (please don't sue me):
1. Democracy is spreading. More than half of the people in the world live under democratic regimes. 60,000 mayors in China are either elected, or at least sensitive to public opinion. Democracy is not a safeguard against bad government (imagine that), but it at least gives people a chance to get the bad government they might have wanted, and at a local level, it can affect positive change. Clinton cites the example of the mayor of a major Chinese city fielding many, many complains from his citizens about the disrepair of the streets in his city. If the Chinese people feel free enough to complain about the streets... what's next?
2. The Internet is spreading, and its use as a political organizing tool is growing exponentially. Many thanks go to Howard Dean and Joe Trippi for organizing the largest grassroots presidential primary campaign, ever. Their organization has been mimicked by other, more successful candidates, and a similar system will no doubt be in place (with enhancements thanks to the power of hindsight) for the 2008 presidential contest. The Bush-Clinton Katrina fund has received the vast majority of its donations over the Internet, and the average amount of those donations has been $50 or less. Average people like you and me have come together to help people whose lives were devastated half a world away, and it is a testament to the power of the Internet that it has become the primary preferred medium for grassroots public action.
3. Non-governmental organizations are increasing in number. Bill Gates, though he is the founder of one of the most evil corporations in the world, is dedicated to spending his fortune before he dies, and he has given over a billion dollars to prevent disease in Africa. He has also given money to 250,000 high schools here in America. His foundation is the single largest philanthropic organization in the world. He is only the tip of the iceberg - there are thousands and thousands of organizations with specific purposes that you can give your money to, and they have pledged to do some good with it. (I recommend starting with my favorites, the ACLU, Democracy for America, and Minnesota Public Radio.) NGOs are even spreading throughout the world; even though Pravda can't be trusted to not hate the haters, there are over 60,000 NGOs in Russia.
The fundamental point is this: There are now more ways than ever for the individual citizen to do public good. This is a trend that is not shrinking or disappearing; it is expanding, and can only continue to do so. China let in the Internet, in a censored format; that is one Pandora's Box that they definitely cannot close. Dean and Trippi let politics onto the Internet in a meaningful way, and that will change the face of campaigning in the USA forever. There will be elections we are happy about and elections that take giant steps backwards, but the American federal government is not the barometer of progress for the world.
Lucky for us.
October 28, 2005
does he rofl? or lmao?
i like to laugh. a lot. it soothes the soul.
occasionally, i will laugh so hard that i cry. less frequently, i will laugh so hard that the pain in my belly demands that i think about something unpleasant so that the laughter ends, because it simply hurts too much to continue. Fits like this usually only happen between me and my brother, because he tends to laugh with great intensity, which makes me laugh, which makes him laugh harder, and so on until we both have little red lines over our abdominal muscles, tears streaming down our faces, and can no longer breathe.
this killed me. in fact, while i was posting this, i could not look at the link or the artlcle for fear that i would bust out laughing again.
however, now the pain has subsided, and i am ready and willing to venture back into the funniest (or possibly second-funniest) thing I have ever read. it's probably not as awesome if you've never owned a cat, but if you have, be prepared to have the rest of your day destroyed by the funniest thing you have ever read.
none of the above is hyperbole.
occasionally, i will laugh so hard that i cry. less frequently, i will laugh so hard that the pain in my belly demands that i think about something unpleasant so that the laughter ends, because it simply hurts too much to continue. Fits like this usually only happen between me and my brother, because he tends to laugh with great intensity, which makes me laugh, which makes him laugh harder, and so on until we both have little red lines over our abdominal muscles, tears streaming down our faces, and can no longer breathe.
this killed me. in fact, while i was posting this, i could not look at the link or the artlcle for fear that i would bust out laughing again.
however, now the pain has subsided, and i am ready and willing to venture back into the funniest (or possibly second-funniest) thing I have ever read. it's probably not as awesome if you've never owned a cat, but if you have, be prepared to have the rest of your day destroyed by the funniest thing you have ever read.
none of the above is hyperbole.
October 26, 2005
down the rabbit hole
Здравствуйте!!
(hello; "zdrasvytsente")
I can pronounce the words, but I don't know what they mean.
Furthermore, the Russian FARK does not correspond in any way to the American FARK.
Fascinating. If you can read Cyrillic, that is.
(hello; "zdrasvytsente")
I can pronounce the words, but I don't know what they mean.
Furthermore, the Russian FARK does not correspond in any way to the American FARK.
Fascinating. If you can read Cyrillic, that is.
it's a trap 2.0
We were right. We were always right, and we were all right.
Liars and crooks, and now their closely-knit circle of friends is unraveling like that cheap scarf your cousin knitted for you that you wore once and got snagged on a door hinge.
Now if only the Democrats could get their hand-wringing heads out of their asses and govern...
it reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons I saw on DVD last week, from the 4th season. It aired in 1991. There's a chase scene that goes through both the Republican and Democratic national conventions. During the scene, you get to see banners hanging at each convention:
Republican: "We want the worst for everyone!" "We're just evil!"
Democrat: "We hate ourselves!" "We can't govern!"
ah, it saddens me how political satire remains the same, even though the years keep ticking by.
In other news, I got the first contact from the wreck-girl's insurance agency today. I will call them in the morning with a list of demands ten miles long. I am suffused with confidence befitting Napoleon as he invaded Malta.
Liars and crooks, and now their closely-knit circle of friends is unraveling like that cheap scarf your cousin knitted for you that you wore once and got snagged on a door hinge.
Now if only the Democrats could get their hand-wringing heads out of their asses and govern...
it reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons I saw on DVD last week, from the 4th season. It aired in 1991. There's a chase scene that goes through both the Republican and Democratic national conventions. During the scene, you get to see banners hanging at each convention:
Republican: "We want the worst for everyone!" "We're just evil!"
Democrat: "We hate ourselves!" "We can't govern!"
ah, it saddens me how political satire remains the same, even though the years keep ticking by.
In other news, I got the first contact from the wreck-girl's insurance agency today. I will call them in the morning with a list of demands ten miles long. I am suffused with confidence befitting Napoleon as he invaded Malta.
i've created a monster
PokerStars Tournament #14267119, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $20.00/$2.00
180 players
Total Prize Pool: $3600.00
Tournament started - 2005/10/25 - 22:02:35 (ET)
Dear hakatak,
You finished the tournament in 3rd place.
A $428.40 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
You earned 178.65 tournament leader points in this tournament.
For information about our tournament leader board, see our web site at
http://www.pokerstars.com/tlb_tournament_rankings.html
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
Buy-In: $20.00/$2.00
180 players
Total Prize Pool: $3600.00
Tournament started - 2005/10/25 - 22:02:35 (ET)
Dear hakatak,
You finished the tournament in 3rd place.
A $428.40 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
You earned 178.65 tournament leader points in this tournament.
For information about our tournament leader board, see our web site at
http://www.pokerstars.com/tlb_tournament_rankings.html
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
October 22, 2005
RIP
Stan the Civic
March 20, 2005 - October 21, 2005
my car got wrecked today.
i was driving up the exit from columbia rd. to demers ave., while working at pops tonight. stopped at the north-south light, where demers ave. crosses right in front of pops, team electronics, etc.
light turns green, so i go. since my light was green, the cross-traffic light was red, a fact which escaped the notice of the 18-year-old female driver of a 1994 ford explorer. a perfect t-bone, right in the front passenger door.
what amazed me was how long the whole ordeal seemed to take, and yet how quickly it was over. the headlights, noise and shower of glass took like four hours, but i didn't even notice the flying plastic or crushing of the passenger door/dashboard. she was profusely sorry, and i wanted to lay into her, asking her how sorry would help me get another job, but that would have just made her cry.
so far as i know, i'm okay. my right hand instinctively went up to protect my face, and that was pretty much the only exposed area of skin on my body at the moment, so it caught quite a bit of glass. i went to the hospital to have them take it out and swab me down with some antibiotics, and they took a couple x-rays. i wanted to keep the glass, but all the fragments were miniscule. my fingers are a teeny bit broken, too, but not to the point where they need a cast or splints or anything. ("1% fracture.") during the great deal of down-time at the hospital, i had horrific visions of waking up tomorrow a quadraplegic, but the doc tells me that is highly unlikely.
the anaesthetic has mostly worn off, and now my fingers hurt like hell.
my first real taste of freedom when they let me out of work-release was getting into Stan and driving away.
March 20, 2005 - October 21, 2005
my car got wrecked today.
i was driving up the exit from columbia rd. to demers ave., while working at pops tonight. stopped at the north-south light, where demers ave. crosses right in front of pops, team electronics, etc.
light turns green, so i go. since my light was green, the cross-traffic light was red, a fact which escaped the notice of the 18-year-old female driver of a 1994 ford explorer. a perfect t-bone, right in the front passenger door.
what amazed me was how long the whole ordeal seemed to take, and yet how quickly it was over. the headlights, noise and shower of glass took like four hours, but i didn't even notice the flying plastic or crushing of the passenger door/dashboard. she was profusely sorry, and i wanted to lay into her, asking her how sorry would help me get another job, but that would have just made her cry.
so far as i know, i'm okay. my right hand instinctively went up to protect my face, and that was pretty much the only exposed area of skin on my body at the moment, so it caught quite a bit of glass. i went to the hospital to have them take it out and swab me down with some antibiotics, and they took a couple x-rays. i wanted to keep the glass, but all the fragments were miniscule. my fingers are a teeny bit broken, too, but not to the point where they need a cast or splints or anything. ("1% fracture.") during the great deal of down-time at the hospital, i had horrific visions of waking up tomorrow a quadraplegic, but the doc tells me that is highly unlikely.
the anaesthetic has mostly worn off, and now my fingers hurt like hell.
my first real taste of freedom when they let me out of work-release was getting into Stan and driving away.
October 19, 2005
unpleasant things
three more kinds of people that annoy me:
1) people who have pictures of themselves as their pokerstars avatars
2) people who have pictures of babies as their pokerstars avatars
3) people who see the funniest picture ever as someone else's pokerstars avatar and then use it as their own
that is all.
1) people who have pictures of themselves as their pokerstars avatars
2) people who have pictures of babies as their pokerstars avatars
3) people who see the funniest picture ever as someone else's pokerstars avatar and then use it as their own
that is all.
October 18, 2005
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