(that would either be a totally awesome vanity plate, or the lamest one ever.)
i got the idea because i totally pwned a russian quiz this morning. it was even more satisfying to hear the mutters and head-scratching from the seats around me as they struggled to come up with (insert cyrillic here).
here's a sample of my writing that i gave to the opinion editor of the dakota student, in hopes that i could be a columnist and have to do less work than if i were a reporter. it obviously didn't work out (they'd already hired too many people to write trite pap), but i thought the sample was decent, and since they didn't/won't publish it, i think i still have the rights to it. so... here you go.
----
There must be somebody, some rich person somewhere, that gets a nickel every time someone mentions responsibility to a college student. We are constantly reminded to drink responsibly, date responsibly, and spend our money responsibly; between that, and digging ourselves out of all the invitations to party, hook up, and get credit cards, we're pretty busy.
I really thought I was starting to catch on, too. Responsibility seemed pretty simple; you own up to things you did, whether they're good or bad, and if they're bad, you try to make things right. I must have gotten something wrong somwhere, though, because my role models are modeling an entirely different version of 'responsibility.'
Take, for example, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. President Bush, amid loud cries that the federal government did next to nothing to help evacuate and rescue the victims of the hurricane, insisted that now is not the time to place blame. This week, the president changed his mind (flip-flopped?) and said, "For any failure of the federal government... I take responsibility." Ah, good, that's better, he's taken responsibility. We can all rest easier, knowing that the changes our great president is making will ensure that this never happens again.
Oh, wait - he didn't change anything. He just said he takes responsibility. That must be good enough, then.
Let's also take, for example, the aftermath of the financial aid fiasco here at UND, caused by none other than faulty software from PeopleSoft. (Did you look at your tuition and fees bill? We're all paying 80 dollars a semester to use PeopleSoft/be used by PeopleSoft.) Students remain without their excess aid, even though UND has already gotten its money; it is only the students with excess aid that are left wanting. The financial aid staff has gotten very good at saying "I'm sorry." As they are learning, though, there is a huge gap between being sorry and making things right.
I am deeply disappointed in the reactions of both the federal government on the Gulf Coast and UND's financial aid department (and their bosses). The disaster in the Southeast is so huge I have no idea what to do first, next, or last. I cannot really help them, although I did send 20 bucks to the Red Cross. I do, however, have some suggestions for how the FA office can maybe soothe some hurt feelings (and hurting pocketbooks).
1) Extend the Financial Aid office hours. At all times of day, the wait to see a receptionist is around 30 minutes. For students who are in class all day and may have problems with their aid checks, it only seems fair to keep a couple of people in the office until 7 or 8 pm.
2) Put a third receptionist in the Financial Aid office, at a temporary desk. Although space may be at a premium, things would move much quicker if there were just one more set of hands and eyes helping the students.
3) Refund the PeopleSoft user fees to the people whose aid checks are two weeks late or later. They've already bent over and taken it once (late rent, late credit card payments, late car payments, no beer); there's no reason they should have to pay to bend over and take it. It might go a little ways toward ensuring that the university doesn't just close their eyes and push the button to start up a massive, massively flawed system that breaks down when it is needed most, taking the pocketbooks of cold/hungry/thirsty students with it.
4) When someone tells a student that (vice president of student affairs) Bob Boyd will personally look into a situation, Bob Boyd should take a minute from his day and personally call the student, even if he was unable to help. That way, it wouldn't look like the student was simply lied to.
What responsibility comes down to is actually trying to fix your screw-ups. We are expected to be responsible, and if we are not, there are plenty of police, STDs, and collection agencies waiting to whip us into shape. There is no direct authority holding UND accountable to its students, or the federal government to the people of the Gulf Coast, but that should not mean that those organizations cannot rise to the occasion and teach us a lesson or two about responsibility. You know, the old-fashioned kind.
September 26, 2005
September 23, 2005
shiny shiny
I no longer work for the chemistry department. Being a lab-equipment gofer is one or two degrees of magnitude below my skill set, the pay sucked, and I was bored.
So instead I fell ass-backwards into a job in the art department, maintaining/upgrading/protecting a lab full of Apple G5s. There are few things more beautiful to me than 17 Apple Cinema Displays, all lined up on the lab tables. While installing and removing various applications yesterday, I found myself frequently stopping to stroke the edges of the displays. I remain in disbelief over their incredible design and beauty.
I also set a new personal (and group-of-close-friends) record on the disc golf course last week: -14. It turns out I have excellent skills when there's no wind; the next day, we shot a round in a strong breeze and I finished at par. The inconsistency frightens me, for when Derek and I play, we (of course) play for skins.
I needed some new music to groove to while playing poker, so I picked up My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. This album reminds me a bit of Taking Back Sunday's Where You Want to Be, only with a little less screaming and a little more stylistic variety... in other words, it's pretty sweet. Also got the new Franz Ferdinand... at first listen, there were no tracks that had the instant-love, crack-addiction quality of Take Me Out, but all the tracks are good, whereas the first album had some big hits and some even bigger misses.
Tests next week in western civ, russian, algebra, and the week following (I think) in communications and comparative politics. Fun, fun. It's definitely starting to feel like fall... school is getting serious, and the weather is turning cooler (38 degrees on my way to school yesterday, and 50 at 10:30 this morning).
I'm writing a story for the Dakota Student about a German-American friendship organization called Atlantic-Brücke. An official from AB participated in a young leadership conference in Bismarck a couple of weeks ago, and was struck by the plight of refugees fleeing the great flattened Gulf Coast. Two phone calls and two days later, German companies had committed $150,000 in aid money for victims of HK. (not hong kong) A few more phone calls, and there is $50,000 waiting in a checking account at the Bank of North Dakota, with more available if needed. Now, there is a small delegation of German and American officials traveling around North Dakota, offering aid to refugees who chose to came all the way up to the great (soon-to-be) frozen north. Anything these people need that is not being provided by federal or state aid agencies, AB is taking care of. Due to our deserved reputation as a six-month icebox, though, and with winter coming soon, there are only about 30 families in all of ND that are eligible for assistance.
What blows me away is the juxtaposition of German efficiency with American clumsiness. Our president is on vacation, and the guy in charge of natural disasters for our whole country doesn't hear about the craziness in New Orleans affecting millions of people for three days. A week later, relief efforts are underway. Meanwhile, someone who isn't even affiliated with the German government makes a phone call, gets a phone call, and in two days has eliminated all intervening red tape and is ready to help people halfway across the world.
Thanks, Germany! (don't forget to read the Dakota Student on Tuesday.)
So instead I fell ass-backwards into a job in the art department, maintaining/upgrading/protecting a lab full of Apple G5s. There are few things more beautiful to me than 17 Apple Cinema Displays, all lined up on the lab tables. While installing and removing various applications yesterday, I found myself frequently stopping to stroke the edges of the displays. I remain in disbelief over their incredible design and beauty.
I also set a new personal (and group-of-close-friends) record on the disc golf course last week: -14. It turns out I have excellent skills when there's no wind; the next day, we shot a round in a strong breeze and I finished at par. The inconsistency frightens me, for when Derek and I play, we (of course) play for skins.
I needed some new music to groove to while playing poker, so I picked up My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. This album reminds me a bit of Taking Back Sunday's Where You Want to Be, only with a little less screaming and a little more stylistic variety... in other words, it's pretty sweet. Also got the new Franz Ferdinand... at first listen, there were no tracks that had the instant-love, crack-addiction quality of Take Me Out, but all the tracks are good, whereas the first album had some big hits and some even bigger misses.
Tests next week in western civ, russian, algebra, and the week following (I think) in communications and comparative politics. Fun, fun. It's definitely starting to feel like fall... school is getting serious, and the weather is turning cooler (38 degrees on my way to school yesterday, and 50 at 10:30 this morning).
I'm writing a story for the Dakota Student about a German-American friendship organization called Atlantic-Brücke. An official from AB participated in a young leadership conference in Bismarck a couple of weeks ago, and was struck by the plight of refugees fleeing the great flattened Gulf Coast. Two phone calls and two days later, German companies had committed $150,000 in aid money for victims of HK. (not hong kong) A few more phone calls, and there is $50,000 waiting in a checking account at the Bank of North Dakota, with more available if needed. Now, there is a small delegation of German and American officials traveling around North Dakota, offering aid to refugees who chose to came all the way up to the great (soon-to-be) frozen north. Anything these people need that is not being provided by federal or state aid agencies, AB is taking care of. Due to our deserved reputation as a six-month icebox, though, and with winter coming soon, there are only about 30 families in all of ND that are eligible for assistance.
What blows me away is the juxtaposition of German efficiency with American clumsiness. Our president is on vacation, and the guy in charge of natural disasters for our whole country doesn't hear about the craziness in New Orleans affecting millions of people for three days. A week later, relief efforts are underway. Meanwhile, someone who isn't even affiliated with the German government makes a phone call, gets a phone call, and in two days has eliminated all intervening red tape and is ready to help people halfway across the world.
Thanks, Germany! (don't forget to read the Dakota Student on Tuesday.)
September 20, 2005
first do no harm
"So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
first do no harm
"So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
first do no harm
"So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
- padme amidala
perhaps that's a little too dramatic.
oh well.
September 16, 2005
i like toys.
lots of speculation so far about what the Nintendo Revolution will be like.
Finally, something other than a rumor.
it seems that all those people that pull their controllers in different directions, hoping to gain an extra inch of forward/planar motion from their onscreen avatars, will soon get their wish.
Finally, something other than a rumor.
it seems that all those people that pull their controllers in different directions, hoping to gain an extra inch of forward/planar motion from their onscreen avatars, will soon get their wish.
September 15, 2005
technically unsupported
At least UND hasn't done this.
I had to wait in line for another half an hour to get a work-study certification card today. I feel even worse for the people whose excess aid STILL hasn't come and that have gotten a total run-around by UND with no responsibility taken... other than people saying "it's our fault." well, brilliant, you little genius, you. so what are you going to DO about it? if UND doesn't get its money right away, they withhold your registration, grades, transcript, all that stuff. they'll even ship you off to collections and kick you out of school until you pay your stupid bill. but now that the shoe is on the other foot and it's kids in apartments that can't pay rent, or make car payments, or buy food, or even beer and cigarettes.... well, we can't hold anything back from UND, and we certainly can't take them to collection agencies. "Sorry. We're working on it... we even submitted a help ticket to PeopleSoft!! Sorry."
However, for the time being, I'm pretty sure that my personal information is safe. And even if it's not, I have shitty grades and shitty credit.
I had to wait in line for another half an hour to get a work-study certification card today. I feel even worse for the people whose excess aid STILL hasn't come and that have gotten a total run-around by UND with no responsibility taken... other than people saying "it's our fault." well, brilliant, you little genius, you. so what are you going to DO about it? if UND doesn't get its money right away, they withhold your registration, grades, transcript, all that stuff. they'll even ship you off to collections and kick you out of school until you pay your stupid bill. but now that the shoe is on the other foot and it's kids in apartments that can't pay rent, or make car payments, or buy food, or even beer and cigarettes.... well, we can't hold anything back from UND, and we certainly can't take them to collection agencies. "Sorry. We're working on it... we even submitted a help ticket to PeopleSoft!! Sorry."
However, for the time being, I'm pretty sure that my personal information is safe. And even if it's not, I have shitty grades and shitty credit.
September 10, 2005
you can do it!!
all i want for christmas
but better than that...
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to ...
Progressive!
but better than that...
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to ...
Progressive!
September 9, 2005
our schools need more intelligent design
sweet. (NY Times article, free registration required.)
and while we're on the topic, let me just register my disbelief that any of our kids would be taught that god made the world in a science class. It has nothing to do with hating religion or separation of church and state or anything like that. As I understand it, science is the commonly-accepted technique for observing and interpreting events, and something about hypothesis-testing.
Observing, seeking, or interpreting the existence of a creator is not an observable or testable event. One can hypothesize, and one can examine libraries full of circumstantial evidence, but one cannot ever verifiably say "God created (this/us/everything), and this is how I know that." On the other hand, one can easily say, "I know how much gravity is pulling on this object," because gravity is a clearly-defined, measurable value.
I would prefer that my children (and everyone else's, too, for they will be a large part of my life over the next 50 years) use their science class to learn science; the measurable, quantifiable values of our universe and the relationships between them. Questions of metaphysics like intelligent design should be discussed - we would be remiss if such a large part of Western European and American history were to go ignored - but it must remain a study in culture, in history, and in the philosophical meaning of life.
yay for brains.
and while we're on the topic, let me just register my disbelief that any of our kids would be taught that god made the world in a science class. It has nothing to do with hating religion or separation of church and state or anything like that. As I understand it, science is the commonly-accepted technique for observing and interpreting events, and something about hypothesis-testing.
Observing, seeking, or interpreting the existence of a creator is not an observable or testable event. One can hypothesize, and one can examine libraries full of circumstantial evidence, but one cannot ever verifiably say "God created (this/us/everything), and this is how I know that." On the other hand, one can easily say, "I know how much gravity is pulling on this object," because gravity is a clearly-defined, measurable value.
I would prefer that my children (and everyone else's, too, for they will be a large part of my life over the next 50 years) use their science class to learn science; the measurable, quantifiable values of our universe and the relationships between them. Questions of metaphysics like intelligent design should be discussed - we would be remiss if such a large part of Western European and American history were to go ignored - but it must remain a study in culture, in history, and in the philosophical meaning of life.
yay for brains.
September 7, 2005
labor dabor
Labor Day was a total disappointment. Not a terrible, horrible, you're-going-to-jail sort of day, but every little bit of excitement I felt was squashed later by failure and defeat.
Example: Derek and I wanted to go to lunch, and after two rounds of frisbee golf, we were seeking many, many calories with which to fuel our respective bodies. Alas, it was too late in the day for pizza buffet, and Derek doesn't like americanized-chinese-buffet. Struck by the brilliant idea to go to Joe DiMaggio's, an underappreciated sports bar downtown, we hightailed it in anticipation of burger goodness, with maybe a Twins game to entertain us during lulls in the conversation (you know, lest we start talking like an old married couple). Upon our arrival, we discover that Joe's is closed for Labor Day. WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT CLOSES ON LABOR DAY??!!! (Derek's answer: the kind that is always empty during the day anyhow.)
Example: Derek and I are probably the two best Dr. Mario players in the world. I am only speaking with a little bit of hyperbole; if there were a world championship of obscure puzzle games, and Dr. Mario was among them, Derek and I would be serious contenders. That afternoon, we were consumed with the desire to play Dr. Mario. It was not as simple as just going home, putting the cartridge in the N64, and going at it; no, that would be out of sync with the Labor Day vibe. First, we had to re-acquire my Nintendo 64 from Peter, to whom I had loaned it a year or two ago (I don't really remember, but it was a long time).
After a few minutes of searching, it was reasonably clear that Peter had lost my nintendo. (lesson: DO NOT LEND PETER ANYTHING.) Finding another N64 was easy; there are used ones all over town. Finding Dr. Mario is difficult; apparently, everyone that owns it wants to keep it. Not a single copy of this sweet, sweet game was to be found anywhere in town. Disgrace, defeat, disappointment... stupid labor day.
So that's why Labor Day sucks.
Example: Derek and I wanted to go to lunch, and after two rounds of frisbee golf, we were seeking many, many calories with which to fuel our respective bodies. Alas, it was too late in the day for pizza buffet, and Derek doesn't like americanized-chinese-buffet. Struck by the brilliant idea to go to Joe DiMaggio's, an underappreciated sports bar downtown, we hightailed it in anticipation of burger goodness, with maybe a Twins game to entertain us during lulls in the conversation (you know, lest we start talking like an old married couple). Upon our arrival, we discover that Joe's is closed for Labor Day. WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT CLOSES ON LABOR DAY??!!! (Derek's answer: the kind that is always empty during the day anyhow.)
Example: Derek and I are probably the two best Dr. Mario players in the world. I am only speaking with a little bit of hyperbole; if there were a world championship of obscure puzzle games, and Dr. Mario was among them, Derek and I would be serious contenders. That afternoon, we were consumed with the desire to play Dr. Mario. It was not as simple as just going home, putting the cartridge in the N64, and going at it; no, that would be out of sync with the Labor Day vibe. First, we had to re-acquire my Nintendo 64 from Peter, to whom I had loaned it a year or two ago (I don't really remember, but it was a long time).
After a few minutes of searching, it was reasonably clear that Peter had lost my nintendo. (lesson: DO NOT LEND PETER ANYTHING.) Finding another N64 was easy; there are used ones all over town. Finding Dr. Mario is difficult; apparently, everyone that owns it wants to keep it. Not a single copy of this sweet, sweet game was to be found anywhere in town. Disgrace, defeat, disappointment... stupid labor day.
So that's why Labor Day sucks.
September 5, 2005
schadenfreude
I feel like I've used that title before, but it seems that I have not. It's a german word that, like many other german words, encapsulates an idea. Schadenfreude is the feeling of joy at someone else's expense, or more mildly, the happiness that comes when you think "thank God that didn't happen to me." Either one is good.
Here's an example: Some good news for us broke suckers, and also welcome bad news for the oil speculators screwing us. (now that's schadenfreude.)
Lots of frisbee golf in the last couple of days; Derek and I shot 54 consecutive holes on Saturday. (I finished at -9, -9, and -8.) Heading out again as soon as I finish my blog/coffee, although the wind may thwart us before three rounds today.
Excellent week in poker; after taking a break for a month or so after a relentless string of bad beats, I decided to dip my toe back in the water. Playing only $11 single- and two-table tournaments (and Saturday night's $22 10k guaranteed, in which I flamed out), I'm up about $250 this week. I plan on riding my heater as far as it will take me.
I played a $5 live game with some kids I know on Friday night, and if I had known that the 'Phil' that was joining the game was who he was, I would never have played. I don't want to drop his last name, because he's the kind of guy that would Google himself frequently (if he were smart enough, which I seriously doubt), but we'll just say that this kid is not just a tool, not just a toolbox... not even a tool shed. He is the Tool Crib of the North. He immediately established himself as the chip leader when he knocked four players out of the game, and played a punishing, loose aggressive game for the remainder of the night. I clung to my shrinking stack until there were four of us left, whereupon I doubled through Phil twice and took him down in our third showdown. (MAXIMUM schadenfreude.) Finding myself in the final two, I should have offered to chop, for I was getting tired and my mind was already elsewhere. Alas, I took second place when I called the other guy's all-in and he drew a higher pair than mine.
A sportswriter for the Star Tribune just called out Brad Radke, widely considered to be one of the Twins' best pitchers (of which there are many), on Minnesota Public Radio. Apparently Johan Santana has pitched 8 wins when the combined score was 5 or less and the Twins won by a single run. (3-2, 2-1, 1-0). Radke has pitched 1, and has been heard complaining about how the hitting staff won't/can't hit for him. Howard's line: "Quit your bitchin' and just start pitchin'."
Here's an example: Some good news for us broke suckers, and also welcome bad news for the oil speculators screwing us. (now that's schadenfreude.)
Lots of frisbee golf in the last couple of days; Derek and I shot 54 consecutive holes on Saturday. (I finished at -9, -9, and -8.) Heading out again as soon as I finish my blog/coffee, although the wind may thwart us before three rounds today.
Excellent week in poker; after taking a break for a month or so after a relentless string of bad beats, I decided to dip my toe back in the water. Playing only $11 single- and two-table tournaments (and Saturday night's $22 10k guaranteed, in which I flamed out), I'm up about $250 this week. I plan on riding my heater as far as it will take me.
I played a $5 live game with some kids I know on Friday night, and if I had known that the 'Phil' that was joining the game was who he was, I would never have played. I don't want to drop his last name, because he's the kind of guy that would Google himself frequently (if he were smart enough, which I seriously doubt), but we'll just say that this kid is not just a tool, not just a toolbox... not even a tool shed. He is the Tool Crib of the North. He immediately established himself as the chip leader when he knocked four players out of the game, and played a punishing, loose aggressive game for the remainder of the night. I clung to my shrinking stack until there were four of us left, whereupon I doubled through Phil twice and took him down in our third showdown. (MAXIMUM schadenfreude.) Finding myself in the final two, I should have offered to chop, for I was getting tired and my mind was already elsewhere. Alas, I took second place when I called the other guy's all-in and he drew a higher pair than mine.
A sportswriter for the Star Tribune just called out Brad Radke, widely considered to be one of the Twins' best pitchers (of which there are many), on Minnesota Public Radio. Apparently Johan Santana has pitched 8 wins when the combined score was 5 or less and the Twins won by a single run. (3-2, 2-1, 1-0). Radke has pitched 1, and has been heard complaining about how the hitting staff won't/can't hit for him. Howard's line: "Quit your bitchin' and just start pitchin'."
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